Oak Stock!
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| A Play in the Park!
The biggest bash of the summer thus far erupted at Tommy Blade's Oak Park home this past weekend. Featuring an afternoon Washer tournament, live entertainment from Rocky Mountain Oyster, and over 300 party-goers, the event had something for everyone. When asked why the Wet T-Shirt Contest was put on hold, host Tommy replied, "It would have come down to me or Steaka, and the loser would have been devastated."
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Party-Pooper! |
| Making sure the flower garden survived, Blades rented a porta-potty for the festivities. Party fundraising relied on donations from the crowd, which amounted to $100...ironically the same fee as the plastic palace. Late in the evening and 13 rolls of toilet paper later, a guest was heard squeaking out, "Ooooh...ahhhh. Shitter's full!" |
The crowd was commended by Mr. Blades the following day for displaying courteous and non-violent behavior. One altercation did take place, however, when a certain Scott kissed a certain Nickerson on the lips. Making the fact that both people involved were males even worse was the matter of one of them being extremely homophobic. After breaking up the fight that followed, Tommy informed Scott that Nova Scotia had not yet consented to same-sex marriages.  |
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| July 13, 2004 |
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| Scrabbly Skronched! |
Hawk Road super-star, Scrabbly Jack Skroncha, was in top form Saturday night when after two songs into the live music he tripped over a cord, toppling the stage lights. Drinking the better part of a Texas mickey with unwanted help from the Lamrocks, Scrabbly hit the hay after some crowd-pleasing new-age dancing. Lobsta Mobsta checked in on him later in the night, finding him "mostly naked" in his tent with the door open. Oak Park residents reported a record number of hungover flies on Sunday.
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