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"...I wish my pant-leg had been the right way out so...geez..." | |
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...um...my girlfriend yelled but the TV...well...that girl screamed just as loud...er...they both screamed like...um...one pant leg was inside out and...um...well, I had to stand up to...you know how when...um...and when she pushed me I screamed...geez...everyone was screaming and screaming and...um...I kind of...well, I fell on my stomach and my girlfriend...um...she screamed louder and...um...geez...a guys' bum sweats more than...um...well, badminton is...er...you have to jump when you spike the...um...the birdie...and you jump with your bum muscles so...er... ...everyone sweats anyway...it's not like...um...just 'cause my bum was soaked from...um...she didn't need to run away calling me a...geez...she told me...well, she said I had issues that...um...she didn't need to run and tell our neighbour that...oh, geez...Mrs. Wickens is our friend and...well, old people don't...um...back then, not everybody played with...um...played badminton or had remotes go missing or...um...you can always turn over the cushions anyway and...um...I heard that Febreeze will...it penetrates deep to...shit, no...um... ...if we didn't have that 41-inch big screen I...er...I probably wouldn't...um...well, I still might but not when...um...not just before my girlfriend's due home...um...I told her that Mr. Smelly has the same...um...his bum fragrance is just as...er...it makes his room smell like...um...well...his girlfriend said it smelled like ass but at least she...um...she wasn't as mean as that and she didn't...um...at least Mr. Smelly gets laid, I told her...um...she didn't like that too much...geez... ...well, I hid behind the couch that had...um...I crouched down and still didn't smell any...um...any bum fragrance and...well...I kind of screamed as she...um...it wasn't the couch's fault that I...well she didn't need to keep kicking the couch like a...um...well, I didn't feel so crazy anymore when she...geez...she was pretty pissed off at the couch...and the funny thing...um...it was weird when the remote fell out from under the cushion and...well...I tried to quickly snatch...shit, grab...um...you have to pick the right time to...it's scary when a woman hates your couch so much and...geez...it's not like it was alive anyway...um... ...so I dove for the remote and did a forward roll and...um...I wish my pant-leg had been the right way out so...geez...well, a forward roll without your pants on is never...it wasn't...um...after playing badminton, your bum gets...shit, I can't...my girlfriend saw more than she...um...she screamed again and I screamed then...um...I slipped because the hardwood floors...well, you know how...um...you know how when sweat sometimes drips off your forehead and...um...well...er...I slipped on some sweat because screaming makes me...well, I get scared when...um...my girlfriend's lungs can make somebody...um... ...well...um...I stepped on some...geez...my fragrance is just as slippery as the next guy's so don't think...it definately wasn't...um...don't assume it was something else when you wasn't even there 'cause...um...well, I'm not saying I didn't finish the job before my girlfriend...shit, when you're just about to...well, you know how when you're just about to...no, wait...um...you can't hear a door open when you're just about to...um...er...your eyes roll back in your head so how...so nothing else matters much when...um...so...but that was on my belly...oh geez...that wasn't on the floor or anything...shit, wait...um...it was definately sweat that made me...um... ...well...my legs flew up in the air as...you know how some things seem to slow down...er...yeah, like slow-motion in movies when...um...it's like you're floating forever and...well...I looked over and saw my girlfriend looking back...um...I think she knew what was coming but...well, when you're in slow motion you can't...um...well, she couldn't run away because...um...I was falling fast but it just seemed slow...and...well, you won't believe me but...um...I landed on my bum and...geez, I never thought...er...you know how when Shamu jumps up and...well, he's trained to...um...geez...Shamu jumps out of the water and lands on his belly and...um...he sort of...um...he likes to splash the crowd and make them...they get...the water flies up and...shit, never mind...well, I guess it was kind of the same thing that...um... |
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