|
 |
 |
 |
||||||||||||||
 |
 |
|||||||||||||||
|
|
'JBB was on the roof, and spotted him.' | |
|||||||||||||
|
Cardboard Cop met them at the door and took the bag of tinkas. Donna carried Dumbass up the stairs and into the bedroom, and they started makin' whoopie. There was a noise from under the bed: "Creak, creak, ka-stave!" Before they could react, they fell through two floors and landed in Sater's basement. Down there, Camel Clyde was sittin' on some old wooden crates being creepier than usual. Dumbass asked him what he was doing there, and Camel said, "Forget about that, fool...tell me how you let George T. Money win the Christmas Eve Texas Hold-Em' tourney? Thought he was a rookie...you need to focus more, dude! I've been watching you, just like I watch that younger Sears boy. You seen those big birds on channel 754 and the likes of Lee 'Crooked-Doodle' Stone? Don't ya get a kick outta the way he slaps...". I left Camel in mid-sentence and flagged down HotDog at the head of the lane, who was looking a little green from last night's escapades at The Old School House. He said he'd been putting back the double rums and dancing' up a storm when one of the chicks slipped something in his drink. Next thing he knew he was on table # 15 at Dooly's, playing pool for 10 bucks a ball with Davis Atkinson. Then in walked Craig Ballish, who said, "No cards in the pool hall...oh, and I got somethin' that'll make ya feel better. Let's go do a few blades on my boat then sail around the world." HotDog hadn't been too sure about this, and said he already had plans to go to The Cape the next day to build a new duck blind. He said he'd have to take a rain check on the world tour. HotDog went on to tell me that the night must have ended there 'cause he didn't remember a thing after that. Just as we were comin' by the graveyard at The Hawk Road turn-off, HotDog said, "Christ, put ya seat belt on!" I looked behind us and saw red-and-blues. Thankfully, it was just Highwater and Santa's reindeer, a day late and a gift short. She suddenly forgot where she'd put Striker's 'Bob', then remembered Dabunnie had taken 'Bob' home with her last week to show her hubby exactly what she wanted for Christmas. Just then, "Bang!" and one of the reindeer went down in a heap. Out of the bushes walked Lionel, and when Highwater asked him why he'd shot Rudolph, Lionel replied, "If it's brown, it goes down." I shook my head, and started walking back towards Clam Point. Big Ernie was delivering mail near JohnnyBeBad's, and he started takin' a leak beside his mailbox. JBB was on the roof, and spotted him. He yelled, "Holy 'ol shit, Ernie...look at the size of the arse on that one!" But before Ernie could turn to look, Shannon staggered up and again asked for a lift to the liquor store. Rusty followed close behind, and said: "I need all the help I can get! The fire trucks and the snuffer just went by, and I heard Lionel and Slow Joe have barracaded themselves inside the Little Red School House. They've got twenty pounds of illegal clams, fifty minows that were trapped without permits, and half a dozen lead-shot shells. The DFO have 'em surounded, and there's even a chopper in the sky. Someone said Slow Joe was on the megaphone shouting, 'I want all you fat out-of-shape handliners to keep quiet while I pull my pants down and show you women what a real man's 'sposed to look like!' We need to go see what's goin' on." We showed up at the Little Red School House shortly after. The DFO had no idea that hiding in the eel grass behind them was JamBucket. He popped his head up asked what all the ruckus was about. "Sir," the men said, "this is official DFO business." They drew their pellet guns from their holsters, and one of them said to the other, "We gotta get this situation under control so we can get back in our 4x4 double-cabs and cruise around some more." Just then, Dinkweed peddled by with an AK-47 and, seeing the DFO had their guns drawn, steered his bicycle their way. |
|
||||||||||||||
|
|
|
||||||||||||||
 |
 |
 |
||||||||||||||
|
