I miss you and your company. And I miss him and his company. In different ways, really. But I feel guilty about missing him because of you. And I wish things could have stayed awesome, passionate and exciting with us rather than evolving.

I like being single, I'm enjoying it in most ways. But I miss the comfort of having you here, it made me feel good, safe, loved.

That's all for now.

This is kind of an AWESOME weekend so far. :) Here's why --

1. Hung out with friends yesterday and had too much wine.
2. Decided I'm painting a couple of walls in my place, family coming over tomorrow to help. I'm inspired to "tie things together" in my place and make it both cozier & more grown up.*
3. Got through the 'waiting room' and got 4 tickets to Olympic Women's Curling - Canada vs Denmark. :D :D :D
4. Might go out tonight and dance, it seems appropriate to celebrate.


*Please note that I don't really "do" cozy as it's not my aesthetic. I like cold and modern, so when I say "cozy" I mean 5% cozier -- which by everyone else's definition is probably still -70% cozy. Note further that by "grown up" I simply mean that I've recently decided that my gadgets and gizmos create all the "parts", however, I've done a poor job of creating a look. I also have a Ikea Poang chair that I can no longer stand the sight of.

To do over some undetermined course of time --
-Paint 1 wall living room, 1 wall bedroom
-Purchase Chilewich floormat for living room
-Get rid of Ikea Poang chair that no one ever sits on
-Replace it with a sexy Panton chair that I will love sitting on
-Purchase a headboard for my bed
-Purchase new sheets
-Acquire or create artwork for my bedroom
-Possibly ad a mirror or two in my space
-I love my apartment. The end.

Tags: Olympics

The Gay Paparazzi are super-losers that spend all their time A) in other people's business,  
B) Stalking people's profiles online on manhunt / craigslist / gay sites to the point they have people's usernames memorized,  C) Making fun of other guys for their 'game'.*

*We're in our 20s, people do dumb / stupid / slutty stuff in their 20s.  So do you.  Back off, and get a life.

So what?  Every time I log into Manhunt or Grindr or anything else, I should expect someone to document and circulate my activities to everyone including my exes?  I don't know why these people have nothing better to do, or why they think they're doing anyone any favours.  Live your own life.  And seriously, fuck off.  Get a job?  Nose job?

It sucks that things have to change.

I miss what it was like when we first met. How much fun we had, how exciting it was. I don't think we could have controlled how our relationship evolved -- we became more like friends than lovers. But I value our friendship, I don't wanna lose it. I miss you. But we weren't like boyfriends anymore despite us saying and wishing we could make it work. Could we have lived happily ever after as best friends who just spend time together, eat together, confide in each other, support each other, and sleep in the same bed? I wish it could be, but it seemed unfair(?) and not the way things are supposed to be with that relationship title.

I miss holding your hand, spending time with you, and feeling safe.

I dislike the unknown. I feel like I did 2 or 3 years ago, after I finished university. Not knowing exactly what I should be doing. I have an idea, but I'm still scared… until I get there it's a lot of stress, pressure and self-doubt. Where did I put my safety net?

Not to be emo, but Nelly Furtado sums it up pretty well in All Good Things.

It's partially a growing up song. It's about that point in life when you're not a child and you start to see how harsh reality is. You wonder where you fit in, in the scheme of things. You try different things, hoping you won't become "old." It's also partially about losing a love. You've tried everything and it still doesn't work out. You know it's not working, even after you leave you still feel it. That's what the whole "Well the dogs were whistling a new tune..." part is about. You know you have to change, but it's painful. -- Review by Dengeist

Partner in crime, MIA.

I'm not reckless -- infact, I worry too much.
I might not have everything figured out, but I make plans, set goals.
If I seem impatient, it's because I'm striving to reach a higher level and challenging myself to get there.

I'm not content sitting idle, getting rusty. I'm not content being bored. I'm not content being unhappy.

Don't lecture me on the above, it's who I am.

If you ask someone for advice, be mature enough to listen to it thoughtfully and consider it.. Even if you don't adopt it, try to take something from it. Why did you ask in the first place if you already have all the answers?

I'm sure I've done this very thing myself, but I try not to.

So I've put up a new portfolio! Check out www.iammore.ca.

My concept / thinking behind this site --
1. Resumes, cover letters and interviews can be dreadful! Cover letters need to be short so the employer actually reads it. Resumes are a constrained / established format -- there's no room for expressing your passion for the position, or expressing anything interesting about yourself. And interviews are high stress; things can go wonky -- either under the pressure the interviewee doesn't get to express everything they want to say (been there!) or the interviewer doesn't ask enough / "the right" questions. I decided I had enough with the limited formats above -- I wanted to create a platform where I get to actually tell the employer about myself in a fun, engaging way; a way for them to get to know my personality, as well as my background and experience.

2. Thus, being different & a bit quirky was the mandate.

3. Likely few that are applying for the jobs I'm looking for (project management) will have a portfolio. This is a way to stand out, and get employers' attention. Even if they don't look at the site -- the fact that I have one, and that I've dedicated time and effort to put one together will hopefully be noticed.

4. Think of it as an "ad campaign" for myself. Note the theme "I am more" carried throughout from the URL to the tagline to the navigation.

5. The branding carries through to my actual pdf resume / CV which has consistent design.

6. I acknowledge that it's unconventional and possibly even frowned upon to not have the menu available on the first page... but I want to take them on a journey under my terms (see bullet 1). :)

Next task will be updating this blog!

P.S. I'll be adding more content to the portfolio site in the following days and weeks.. from completing the "case studies" section, to adding a short bio, to possibly even adding an "easter egg".. ;) Keep checking.

Living relatively frugally (and responsibly -- seemingly an odd concept to most of my generation?) feels scary and also oddly tittilating.

It's kinda fun cooking food at home (read: frozen pizzas, chicken strips, sandwiches :P).. Going out is a treat, even McDonald's.

Please god, let me get a job asap. I promise I'll be slightly less responsible than I am now, but more responsible than I was. :)

I've concluded that I'm going through an evolution; a growth spurt for my abilities and creativity. I'm currently experiencing growing pains. However, I will eventually attain "Sparkle", which is realizing my potential.

Please poke me with a hot iron prod until I Sparkle.

That's all.

She had it. You took it. She left you. You kept it. She wants it. She needs it. She deserves it.

She's lost without it.

Start fresh. ;)