"You create your opportunities by asking for them."
Patty Hansen, Author

In Coaching Tip No. 15 we looked at asking for help and that very often, people unconsciously feel the need to ‘be strong’ and don’t ask for help when it would be both easy and fruitful to do so.

This tip builds on the same principle - that if you stop and ask yourself "What resources do I have available to me that I’m are not currently using?" there is more than likely something there that can help you.

The tip is mostly for salespeople or sales managers but the same principle can be used by anybody running their own business, and also in the area of career development. Read More...

Tags: Sales, Referrals

I love this quote by Ernest Hemingway. He had a talent for saying things of real import very simply.  Whilst this coaching tip relates to the quote above, how I came to this tip is better described by a quotation of Albert Szent-Gyorgyi, who said "A discovery is said to be an accident meeting a prepared mind."

My mind must have been prepared, for it was seemingly by accident I asked the following question of a delegate on a workshop.

"Yes, but what do you want them to DO?"..... Read More...

Tags: Coaching, challenge, management

"It is a paradoxical but profoundly true and important principle of life that the most likely way to reach a goal is to be aiming not at that goal itself but at some more ambitious goal beyond it."
Arnold Toynbee - English historian & historical philosopher (1889 - 1975)

Have you ever had the experience where you've been using a tool for years (e.g. a technique, a program or even the onboard computer in the car.) and then you suddenly realise there's a far better, easier or more elegant way of using that tool? I had one of those moments recently and like the last tip, it harked back to my original coaching training in 2001.

When facilitating, my associate Waqar and I often talk about 'serving the need in the room'. Meaning, it's more important for us to be clear about the needs of the people we are working with and serving their need rather than prioritising the process or model we are using.

I was doing just this, 'serving the need in the room', when it came to me...... Read More...

Tags: Coaching, challenge, management

What resources do you have available to you that you're not currently using?

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new lands but seeing with new eyes." Marcel Proust

In the very first training I had in coaching, I was introduced to the GROW model by David Hemery, the Olympic athlete and, for those of you old enough to remember, part of the cast of the original Superstars in the '70s.

To introduce the model, he simply got us to pick an issue we had that we wanted to work on - an area of our professional or personal lives where we wanted to improve. He then simply asked the questions in the GROW model in sequence, giving us time to write the answers down for ourselves...... Read More...

“There are risks and costs to a program of action. But they are far less than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction”
John F Kennedy

What a strange world we live in. On the 150th anniversary of Darwin’s ‘Origin of the Species’ our understanding of evolution is so much more advanced. What is still confusing is how we have managed to develop a society where, in order to perform at the highest levels, we have to work against the biology, neurology and psychology that evolution determined for us.

I can’t remember how I came across it but Seth Godin published an insightful article (FAST Company Magazine 2003) which is just as relevant today. The article was called “A Brief History of Hard Work, Adjusted for Risk” In the piece he contrasts the hard, physical labour our many of our forebears endured with the modern workplace - and a very different type of hard work that this quote demonstrates: Read More...

"We cannot always control our thoughts, but we can control our words, and repetition impresses the subconscious, and we are then master of the situation."
Florence Scovel Shinn (1871-1940)

I have this habit which I guess must be annoying to some. When I'm coaching or facilitating and somebody is saying they are going to "try to do something" I place my pen on the palm of my hand and stretch it out in front of them, with the invitation to "Try and pick the pen up from my hand".

Some people think this is a trick and consequently snatch it out of my hand really quickly. Their body language says "Aha! I got it!".....

Most people just pick up the pen, some confidently, some tentatively. No more than a handful of people have ever complied with my actual request..... Read More...

Tags: personal mastery

“I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”
Bill Cosby

Quite a few of us have a challenge in saying “no” to other people. Maybe you are one of those people, or have people working for you that need to learn to ‘just say no’.

What causes this to happen and how can we stop saying yes automatically and say no when this is what is best? Read More...

Tags: personal mastery, TA

"The missing ingredient in most failed communications is Humanity. This is an easy fix."
Annette Simmons - Author of Whoever Tells the Best Story Wins

Last time I told the story of Bruce Cohen and how he communicated with a global operation, constantly sharing his vision and making it come to life with real examples of those that were demonstrating the company's values in action.  Working with storytelling - more common nowadays in leadership coaching - this quote from Annette Simmons's book really stood out for me.  Every one of Bruce's voicemails was a story with humanity.  

Reading a whole book on storytelling may seem daunting at first but adopting storytelling actively can reap tremendous rewards. Annette Simmons has given me permission to reproduce a paragraph from her book to allow me to give you a practical coaching tip and hopefully engage you more in storytelling.
Read More...

Tags: Storytelling, leadership, awareness

"Inspiration does exist, but it must find you working."
Pablo Picasso (1881 - 1973)

This tip is slightly longer than normal. In order to demonstrate the coaching tip I need to tell a story - one that you will hopefully enjoy.

I was drafted in to help a colleague run a workshop recently when the numbers became too great. Part of the icebreaker he used was to get people to tell a colleague about the most inspirational leader/manager that they had known. We had an odd number of delegates so I paired up and took part in this exercise.

I found myself remembering the most inspirational leader I had worked for. Bruce Cohen, was the Global VP Sales at a technology company called Chipcom. The CEO was a tall and imposing ex-submarine commander and whilst he was charismatic - Bruce was openly recognised as being the soul of the company. Read More...

Tags: leadership, inspiring, inspiration, vision

"Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop."
Ovid

"The time to relax is when you don't have time for it." Sydney J. Harris

In most of the senior level work that myself and fellow coaches do, a critical issue is often that of energy
- the ability to manage energy and get more of it to meet the challenges that face them as leaders.

No matter how organised we are, how effective our time management, the limiting factor to our
performance will be our energy. There are many practical things that we can do - reducing
our caffeine and alcohol intake, exercising more, eating smaller, more regular meals and so on.

I want to teach you a really easy technique that will not only help you maintain your energy but also
enable you to mentally refresh yourself and take that essential 'stop' required to maintain focus. Read More...

Tags: leadership, Huna, energy

"The most dangerous strategy is to jump a chasm in two leaps."
Benjamin Disraeli, British politician (1804 - 1881)

As leaders we have followers - pretty obvious I suppose. What may not always be present in the mind of the leader is that followers have needs - and followers look to their leaders to meet those needs.

Amongst other things, leaders are responsible for setting direction, giving structure and keeping their people safe.

What's it like when we don't know where we're going? When we don't know where the boundaries are and what is expected or demanded of us? Read More...

Take yourself back just a few weeks to the GB men's coxless four winning Olympic Gold yet again at Beijing - an amazing performance! Those of us that watched it will remember those last 250 meters for a long time.

I had the privilege the other day of meeting one of that team, Steve Williams, who was adding a second gold to the one he won in Athens in 2004.. He was alongside executive coach and colleague Simon Scott, as they gave a presentation on Steve's story and how this relates to coaching for tough times.

I was totally unaware of the challenges that this team had to overcome to win gold again... they had started to lose races after three years of winning easily and amongst other problems, each rower had back injuries in the preceding twelve months.

Clearly, there were may lessons to be learned for high performing teams and the leadership of those teams - their coach Jurgen Grobler has been coaching Olympic teams since 1972 and has never NOT had a Gold medal winning team! Of the many lessons presented one resounded with me as it is something close to my heart - that is the power of feedback... Read More...

"This isn't what I signed up for!"

"I can't believe he did that!"

"This isn't what we agreed!"

Expressions we can be all too familiar with - expressions often vented with frustration, anger or despair.

What's going on here? Many times, especially in business, an upset is caused because expectations haven't been met - an unspoken 'contract' has been broken.

When we think of legal contracts, we mostly think of written documents, visible to the naked eye. The details of our obligations are scrutinised by the parties involved and we physically sign the documents to acknowledge our agreement and commitments.

What we rarely acknowledge consciously are the invisible contracts that exist in our heads that remain unscrutinised. Contracts that others haven't actually signed up to. Contracts that we get very upset about when they are broken..... Read More...

We've all experienced this scene... Two people having a conversation. The one listening seems intent and then his eyes break contact and looks off slightly, his head moves, he shuffles a bit....he's not listening any more, he's just waiting impatiently to say what he wants to say...

I've done it. I'm sure most people have!

"There are people who, instead of listening to what is being said to them, are already listening to what they are going to say themselves."
Albert Guinon (French playwright 1863-1923)

Good leaders are good listeners. I doubt many people would disagree with that statement.

It's hard though isn't it? To pay attention and really listen to someone, giving them your full attention... Read More...

Buddha gives good career advice

Some think it's holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it's letting go.
Sylvia Robinson (singer/songwriter)

- What are you holding on to?
- What is it that you need to let go of?

Take a stop. Think where you are in your career and the challenges you face right now and seriously consider those two questions:

- What are you holding on to?
- What is it that you need to let go of?

Buddha said that attachment is the source of all suffering - and he wasn’t just talking about things - but about beliefs, ideas and attitudes. His advice is just as pertinent today as when he is supposed to have said it over two thousand years ago...... Read More...

“Ideas only sink in deeply after they have been heard many times” John P. Kotter

Some time ago I was running a workshop and while the leader of the team was talking through her plans I was observing. What I saw in the team didn’t represent enthusiastic engagement....they were tuning out.

I interrupted and asked a question - “What’s the positive outcome of pursuing that plan?”

This caused this leader to explain the thinking behind the plan. She shared what had been so very obvious to her but had not been communicated. She shared her vision, including the impacts and consequences of action and inaction; to the team, their internal clients and external customers.

Immediately, the expressions and the body language of the team transformed! Suddenly they ‘got it’ - what was just a tactical plan they were required to execute had become a vision they could buy into and pursue.

Having a compelling vision and being able communicate that vision with impact are essential tools of leadership..... Read More...

Being Interested - the quickest path to Empathy and Rapport

"Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives"
William James (1842 - 1910)

I had just walked out of the lift when a client grabbed me..."Gregor, can you help me? I've got to get a result here or my boss is going to put me on a performance plan!"

I had 10 minutes before my next meeting and once we had found a quiet corner I asked him to explain. Read More...

The first in a series of Practical Coaching Tips

“The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart.”  Saint Jerome 373-419AD

To have the greatest impact, leaders of any sort benefit greatly from the ability to rapidly connect with people.  The larger the teams we lead the more important this becomes.  There’s no longer the leeway to take the weeks or months to get to know people ‘properly’ - to establish trusting relationships. 
 
It’s sometimes the little things that make the difference.  During one meeting, a client of mine took his glasses off and looked me straight in the eyes.  The impact he had was at least tenfold the normal - he was really giving me his full attention, he really meant it, he really connected with me.  This was very different from normal, when I felt he wasn’t giving me 100% of his attention - he was busy thinking and problem solving, which in the main he was paid to do.  However, leadership isn’t the same as problem solving....... Read More...