Tip No.5 - Be a really good listener - really quickly

31/08/08 17:51 Filed in: Coaching Tips
We've all experienced this scene... Two people having a conversation. The one listening seems intent and then his eyes break contact and looks off slightly, his head moves, he shuffles a bit....he's not listening any more, he's just waiting impatiently to say what he wants to say...

I've done it. I'm sure most people have!

"There are people who, instead of listening to what is being said to them, are already listening to what they are going to say themselves."
Albert Guinon (French playwright 1863-1923)

Good leaders are good listeners. I doubt many people would disagree with that statement.

It's hard though isn't it? To pay attention and really listen to someone, giving them your full attention...

- it takes a lot of effort to really listen when you've already 'got it'! You know what the other person is saying and want to get on.....

Listening is something that Introverted types do much more naturally. They take things in and consider them. Extraverted types can struggle however. They need to put far more effort in holding back their tendency to blurt things out. They often do their thinking by talking. Putting this together with a sense of urgency and a quick mind can spell disaster for good listening.

Here's the coaching tip and it's one of the simplest ones I know. It's called "Rapid Repeating" and it does what it says on the tin as the advert goes. It's simply a matter of rapidly repeating what somebody is saying to you, immediately you hear it, inside your head.

Try it the first opportunity you have - it doesn't take long to get the hang of it.

I say 'simply' but it does take some effort. What you will find however, is that you really do have to listen intently - and the person you are listening to will recognise this. If you want to develop the habit of being a good listener this is a quick route.

In my experience it doesn't take long to break the habit Albert Guinon describes above - to get used to listening to others rather than yourself... and if you find yourself slipping, simply start rapid repeating again!

This is a simple tip and the only thing required to make it work is to try it out, and then apply when necessary.

Happy Listening!