Viva La Difference!


It's being exposed to thing different from ourselves that makes us more accepting.

My marriage is interracial. My wife is Korean and I'm, well, Caucasian basically. Does that make me part Asian? After all, the word "Caucasian" contains the word "asian". Being in an interracial marriage has made me more accepting of culture differences. I've always been a fairly accepting person. After all, my mom is involved with the National Organization for Women and my dad has spent his fare share of time with the Sierra Club. They are both liberal democrats despite the fact that my dad voted for Nixon when he ran against Kennedy. I'll bet more women voted for Kennedy than for Nixon. Or maybe the women watched the debate on TV while the men listened to it on the radio.

There are a lot of differences between Koreans and Caucasians. Some are big, some are small. Let me share a few examples with you.

To Peel or Not to Peel
Today my daughter asked her Korean Grandmother for an apple. Her Grandmother peeled all the skin off the apple then sliced it and gave it to her. I'm sure there are Caucasians that peel all the skin off the apple but it appears to be something that all Koreans do. My wife Jeannie and I each ate a piece of apple. Jeannie said, "These taste old." Her Mother said they were from Thanksgiving. I then asked her, "Which year?" They laughed. Apparently some humor is universal.

Soap Operas
My in-laws have a special satellite service so they can watch TV channels from Korea. In the evenings they will watch Korean soap operas. Some of them have subtitles (which is good for me) and some don't. It's like the people that make these shows don't realize that some of the people that watch Korean TV don't speak Korean. These soap operas only run for about two years each and then they end regardless of how popular they are. That at least makes them more believable than the soaps the run here. The go on for years and years until everyone has slept with everyone else and everyone has been accused of murdering everyone else. And while Korean soap operas take place both inside and outside (like real life), American soaps seem to take place only indoors and inside very well lighted rooms. Not that I've watched a lot of American soap operas of course. Well, there was that one summer during high school where I couldn't find a job. I kept wondering when Luke would find Laura on General Hospital.....

There are also Korean TV movies which are only about an hour in length. Now these really have to be seen to be completely appreciated but I'll do my best. I remember one where this widow has a son in high school and he's having problems paying attention in class. Her son's teacher pays a visit to explain the situation and before long you can tell they like each other. This doesn't sit well with her live-in in-laws who remind her that she should still be in mourning over the death of their son whose been dead for who knows how long. So despite the teachers feelings for her, she doesn't allow the relationship to get off the ground. The teacher eventually decides he can't take it and decides to move away to another town. The son, knowing his mother's feelings for the teacher, tells her that the teacher is leaving by train and the two of them make it to the train station just in time to see the train leaving.

Many years later he returns. It's clear he's never married choosing instead to spend his years pining for his unrequited love. He goes to her house and she pretends to be asleep. It turns out that she's had a stroke and doesn't want him to see her in less than perfect condition. Of course, he doesn't know that and leaves with a heavy heart. I'm waiting for the next scene where they somehow end up together but instead she dies and the movie ends. Now you're probably thinking what I was thinking. Huh? It can't end like that! Well, yes it can. You see, Koreans like tragedies. I'm not sure I understand why but perhaps it makes them feel better seeing someone else who's worse off than they are. Americans watch Jerry Springer for the same reason.

TV Singers
In the US if someone is singing on TV they probably are famous and have a long and interesting story about how they got there. In Korea, all you have to do is enter a singing contest. You win a few of these and before long, you're on TV singing Korean folk songs. And they put on quite a production. Laser lights cut through the fog that covers the stage while confetti rains down and flash pots go off like cannons. It reminds me of a KISS concert. If it weren't for the heavy metal music, I'm sure that my in-laws would be KISS fans.

Food
My in-laws are quite proud of the fact that the Wall Street Journal recently voted the Korean diet as the healthiest diet in the world. And they should be proud because it is. It's mostly vegetables and very little that is processed. There's not much fat, oil or anything else bad for you. You can stuff yourself on Korean food and not really worry about gaining weight. You don't see many fat asians.

There is nothing that most Americans consume with every meal (except perhaps beer). Koreans on the other hand wouldn't think of having a meal without Kim-chi. Kim-chi is basically fermented cabbage with lots of crushed red pepper. When I say "lots" that doesn't really describe it. Koreans put crushed red pepper in everything. Go to a Korean grocery store. They sell crushed red pepper in five pound bags. For the average Korean family, that lasts about three months. It would last the rest of us a life time. Needless to say, Korean food is very spicy. Chinese (and especially Japanese) food are bland by comparison. It's a good thing I happen to really like Korean food. It's an especially good thing because both my wife and her mother are excellent cooks. How good? Well, my mother-in-law ran her own Korean restaurant in Killeen for 15 years. And my wife learned to cook from her.

Koreans eat the same food for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The Kim-chi they had with dinner last night is even better this morning.

When most people think of a birthday, they think of the cake. Well, Koreans have birthday cakes too. However, the special dish for birthdays is seaweed soup. Now most people think of seaweed as that stinky stuff that washes up on the beach. Who would want to put that in a bowl with hot water and eat it? Well, it's actually quite good (unless you're my mom who hates it, but then she likes mushrooms so go figure).

Another delicacy is raw crab. Yes, I'm talking uncooked crab marinated in some kind of sauce. Jeannie says that the marinade does what cooking would do so you don't have to worry about getting sick. It's not whatever is in the crab that's going to make me sick. I'm going to get sick long before it ever makes it into my mouth. They also eat raw squid. You can see the little suckers on the legs and everything. I grew up on processed food so I'm not used to my meal looking anything like it did before it was my meal.

Gossip
Koreans love to gossip. Now, I know what you're thinking. Doesn't everybody? Well, not like Koreans. Trust me. Buy comparison, the rest of us are amateurs. They know who's done what to whom and with whom. Saving face is really important to Koreans so you'd think everyone would be pretty tight-lipped about things. So how is it that everyone knows so much about what's going on in the lives of everyone else? I still haven't figured that one out. When I do, I'll get back to you. And when you ask a Korean how things are going, what you get is the opposite of the truth. Ask a Korean how their business is doing and they will frown and tell you how bad it is and how you should never go into their line of work. They are probably really doing extremely well. How you tell which is which is a skill I have yet to master. Fortunately, I have a translator: my wife Jeannie.

Placing Blame
In the US when a building suddenly collapses, we investigate and blame the architect for not designing it properly or the builder for not building it right. But in Korea, saving face is just too important. So when a building collapses, they say "There were too many people in that building." or when a bridge falls apart, they say, "There were too many cars on that bridge." They don't want to point the finger at anyone. My Father-in-law thinks this is hilarious. My Brother-in-law's wife who was born and raised in Korea is embarrassed by it because Korea is still her mother country. But she shouldn't be embarrassed. It's just different.

We're all Caucasian
Korean's think of themselves as no different from Caucasians. When my wife read this blog entry she said our marriage is intercultural and NOT interracial. Well, it's certainly intercultural but it is also interracial. She is Asian, I'm Caucasian. Perhaps this is why despite prejudice and intolerance, Asian immigrants often do very well when they come to the US. They don't think of themselves as victims. Far from it. For them the US is a golden land of opportunity. I think they come here expecting the gold to come easier than it actually does. But when they find out the truth, they don't whine about it. They just work harder.

So are Asians just better people than most Caucasians? No. They are not better or worst. They are different in some ways. But it is experiencing all those differences that makes me aware that we are all so much alike. In fact, all of the differences I described are cultural and not racial at all. This illustrates my point. We are all very much alike. Our differences just make us more interesting. Why some people choose to show their ignorance by being prejudice is beyond me. I can only think that they are scared of what they don't understand. I say viva la difference! I wonder if the French say that?

Posted: Sun - December 21, 2003 at 10:49 PM      

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