Brother Joes Condition

Sun - December 23, 2007

My brother Joe has passed!

Today (Saturday) Joe was really out of it. When I got there around 11 a.m. he awoke from his fitful half sleep state and says almost cheerfully "Oh Hi Dave" then promptly fades off again. All the time I was there, he mostly breathed very heavily, eyes rolled back and awaking only briefly from time-to-time. After 5 hours of listening to his death rattle I could bear it no longer and with a headache and heartache went home for dinner. I left instructions for the hospital (OSH) to call me anytime if Joe asked for me or if they thought he was getting closer to death. I was certain they would.
_______________________________

I just got back from (OSH) Oregon State Hospital, it is 1:00 a.m. Sunday morning. Joe died what looked to me as a horrible and agonizing manner at 12:15 a.m. Though they were giving Joe Morphine, his body and spirit fighting the cancer to the bitter end was unpleasant to witness.

They had called me back about 11 p.m. telling me Joe was awake and asking for me. I rush there and Joe looks up and sees me and says thanks for coming. Half awake he repeatedly thanks me and then begins to yell "Oh GOD, oh God, you are my God, Oh Jesus Oh Jesus" "Dave pray with me, pray with me...Now Dave, Now!" We prayed then after a short while he falls back into his fitful half sleep but with his eyes half open. His breathing became more labored each minute as he slowly drowns to death in his dam cancer. He wakes one more time, looks at me, and asks me again to hold his hand, and then with so much fear in his eyes softly tells me "I am scared Dave".
Mom had told me the same thing at about the same period during her death. I can't tell you how terrible it was to sit through all that. It was just so painful and horrible an experience. Mother's was bad enough, but at least in her coma state she finally just stopped breathing without the entire trauma that Joe had to go through. That at least was my hopeful prayer for Mom. You don't know really what they hear or feel in a coma.

I can truly understand now and empathize why some people would rather not see or go through it. I thank God though there are those amazingly caring people who truly care for the terminally ill. Nurses, Doctors, case monitors, paramedics, friends and finally hospice people all willing to give of themselves to those in medical need. They are all real Angels on earth.

It was the saddest thing to watch someone you care for die before your eyes in such an agonizing way. The dam cancer was rotting his insides out. You could hear it in his death rattle. Like a volcano's inner fire rising from deep within, you could hear it. Where just hours before Joe's body was cold and clammy it now was on-fire, and almost hot to the touch. His breathing becoming more and more labored, the cancer growing stronger and stronger like a wild unstoppable beast. I yelled at the nurse to come in, and asked was there anything else they could do to ease his suffering. She left for more morphine then administered to Joe. We also briefly discuss aspirating Joe. He had signed a do not resuscitate paper, but this would only be to make him more comfortable in his final moments. Now though, only through his death could Joe hope to stop the cancer inside him. Joe's body convulsing slower and slower, he sheds a final single tear and mercifully it was finally over.

Rereading my last entry here, I did not mean to come across as morbid with the details of Joe's death. I only wish to remember for myself in this journal (for the future) what exactly happen to my brother Joe. It is my way of venting I guess this horrible night, as I wish never to have to experience the horror of his death with another loved one ever again.

I am just in shock now and I feel I just want to go to sleep to forget this night ever happened. Restlawn funeral home will pick Joe up tonight. They will cremate him per Mother's wishes. Poor Joe had suffered so much for so long, and I am just glad for him that it is now over and he is suffering no more. I at times think of the lyrics of the song that says, "He's not heavy, he's my brother" I was saddened by his passing, but glad I could be there for him and relieved that finally his suffering is over. He put up a courageous fight with odds totally stacked against him. His bad luck would have broken the spirit of the best of us, but Joe had the patience of Job in the Old testament as if God was punishing him with all his afflictions. (Epilepsy, mental illness and then his cancer) Joe often would site that passage to me many times over the years and he wondered why God was so testing him? Joe felt that he had done something unfavorable to God to cause all his suffering. Nothing I would say had convinced him otherwise.

In Joe's belonging's there were many saved cards, most were humorous but this one stood out for me -- it simple said "I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top." That was one of Joe's voiced discontents to me so many, many times over the years. "Why me Dave, why me?" he would ask, and yet I fear I really never gave him his answer he so fought for.
Poor Joe, he just wanted to be a Priest and serve the Lord. Hopefully now in death he can finally realize his only wish.

Goodbye my brother Joe, rest in peace and may God grant you your final request. You will be missed. Dave

Posted at 01:38 AM

Fri - December 21, 2007

Joe's energizer battery is finally giving up!

Seen Joe today (12/21/07) in ward 35B, poor guys been going downhill the last month, but recently faster. Just last weekend I had took Joe home again for an outing here in the apartment for the day. We went to church but Joe could not sit because of the pain.

Due to his deteriorating condition they put him back into 35B a few days ago, a medical ward. Today he was asleep when I arrived, awoke for awhile and asked me to help him in the bathroom. I had to get to work by noon so had to leave soon afterwards. He used the walker but slow and painfully. Joe told me "please Dave don't give up on me", and I said "I'm not going anywhere Joe, I won't leave you." Then Joe says, "I mean, don't give up on me, I not going to die yet."
Joe was very confused where he was and kept asking for his underpants pointing to locked drawers in the sick room they have him in. I explained they were locked and besides they wanted him to wear the diapers they put on him to help his bed sores.

Called Brother Dick to tell him it may only be days left, perhaps a week on the outside. He and Steve may come up the 29th or so. I fear that will be too late.

It has been 4 years 10 months and 26 days that I have been here ... not that I am counting, but I am amazed that Joe has lasted so long given that the Doctors had given him only a few years to live and that was 6 years ago. When I first arrived they said at that time they thought he only had a few months left. I joke that Joe has had an energizer battery in him that kept him going and going and going.

I spoke with all the doctors recently and just today with Hospice. The doctors say that the cancer must have been damaging Joe's kidneys even more than expected and the dialysis treatment is practically useless at this stage. Joe had told them he was ready to quit anyways. Joe has many painful bed sores (ulcers) on his rear from sitting all the time and unable to last the 4 hours required for the full dialysis treatment. Last week Joe asked me if he should continue dialysis. I explained you could live a long time with cancer and maybe even go in remission, but without your kidneys to purify your system of toxins -- a week or two is all you could take before you die.

I think Joe actually suspected the end was near and was tired of all the pain and suffering and that's why he decided to stop the treatment. Joe has had the worst luck of anyone I know and I just pray he will go quietly in his sleep and suffer no more.

Please send a card if you can before it is too late, if Joe can even understand in his confused state. I think it would give him some closure and sense that his family still thinks of him. He often expresses his feeling of abandonment to me. I will probably only have one more entry for Joe when he passes, in the meantime take care and have a happy holiday. Dave

Posted at 11:56 PM

Mon - November 5, 2007

Poor, Poor Joe!

Poor brother Joe is so bad lately and I feel so helpless to help. I take him on a day outing each Sunday, but we never go much of anywhere other than Church, maybe out to eat then back to my pad for the remainder of the day till 8 p.m.

Yesterday Joe gets in the car and on the way to church he starts to belabor one of his long stories of what goes on at OSH. He starts by saying how he was having a particular bad evening with little or no sleep due to the pain. So he says he gets up from his bedroom and goes out to the day room to try to sleep on the couch. This story has taken 15 mins so far, when he finally tells me of a patient who had come out and started to holler and scream at the top of his lungs all sort of strange angry things, then comes over to Joe and says "You want to fight?" Joe just looked at him and says nothing, then the mental patient goes to the kitchen still screaming and caring on. Joe says he was concerned he would wake the entire ward and no staff came out to quiet the patient down, this goes on for at least 10 mins Joe says. Then he goes back over to Joe who is minding his own business, AND CLOBBERS JOE IN THE FACE! I was in shock after hearing that and simply said "WHAT" Hit him right on the jaw really hard! Joe seemed so matter of fact about it, yet I was fuming!

Poor Joe is in so much pain with the cancer and weak bones, and this lunatic goes off on him. I was so worried about this from day one as was Joe's former case monitor. (remember Joe is in a ward full of rapists, pedophiles, stalkers, murderers and such and they are all raving nuts. We both thought Joe's luck has been been pretty good so far. Dam, is all I can say. We are of course writing a grievance to the ward unit Director.

Joe's condition is so bad, with growths on his tongue and ears, constant pain and depressed as all hell. He can't walk much and confined to a wheel chair, and has a really hard time hearing due to these growths in his ears.

All I can do is bath him, and cook him some food. Wish the lord could cure him or let him go. He's really in hell right now. Well, have to run - hope your days are better. Dave

Posted at 02:37 PM

Mon - September 24, 2007

What's wrong with Joe?

What is wrong with Joe these days? Well, it might be easier to tell you what's right. NOT MUCH! Poor guy is suffering endlessly. Physically he is in much pain and often contemplating suicide. He still feels the call to the priesthood, but sometimes he also feels as if he's missed his calling because he's so unfit with cancer, kidney failure and general poor health. Joe says he would like -- in honor of Mom and Dad, to have all the relatives Bev and Art, Arley Ray, Bonnie Ann and Joan and Harry Clancy and close friends to see him in the cloth (the catholic priesthood).

Joe spent the last two days (weekend) here with me. He got a two day pass, (usually it has been only one day) and we haven't the opportunity to go do anything yet. He is just too sickly. Joe has a growth, actually two on his tongue that the Doctor's think may be cancerous but Joe won't let them do a biopsy. His whole body from head to foot is wracked with aches and pains.

Joe says he misses his family, friends and freedom but mostly his health. Needs family support greatly he says. Wish all the family and friends are doing better than he Joe says, mostly in the physical sense. Joe says God be with you and may the love of God sustain you throughout your life. Take care all of you, Dave and Joe

Posted at 09:45 AM

Thu - December 21, 2006

Joe's never-ending dilemma

Well Merry Christmas everyone or Happy holidays if that offends you.

Been having the usual Bureaucracy BS lately with Joe and getting him released for outings. 12/19/06 Talked to a Mr. Dan Petre-Miller, the Unit Director of Ward 35C at the OSH re Joe and Why he can't go to a Christmas dinner outing (that was confirmed initially). He sited a new risk assessment was made recently on him that had changed Joe's status. He is listed as a high profile crime offender (sexual assault) because of the lady Nurse Joe allegedly attacked several years back. She was well connected and had made the complaint soon after Joe's attack, but took 5 months of bureaucracy to get it going. I should and will go for guardianship for Joe and looking into that. Should help more with Joe's outings etc.

Well again here's hoping you all will have a great and Merry Christmas and that all your new years hopes and wishes come true. Dave

Posted at 03:31 PM

Wed - November 29, 2006

Joe's latest news

Been awhile I realize but, looking for work and working a temp job and visits with Joe and trying to figure ways to keep the electric bill paid are keeping me very busy.

Joe is Joe - still mentally unbalanced or confused and at times very, very stubborn. You cannot tell him anything but what he chooses to believe (the hell with the Facts) and that is frustrating to me. He gets what he calls his his fainting spells, which is actually a paranoid schizophrenia event according to the doctors. Yet, if you tell him that, he will not hear it and stubbornly maintains it is something else. I have given up trying and I serious doubt any of the doctors are even trying or also have given up.

I visited Joe last weekend at his Dialysis center Davita www.davita.com very impressive operation with great caring people.

In a lighter tone, recently Joe celebrated his 45th birthday (locked up at OSH) and all went fairly well, meaning no fainting spells. One of his case workers brought him some little gifts (I brought a chocolate cake and myself, plus he beat me at cribbage :D) Here's what his case worker brought him.

1. Natural Oatmeal and Almond moisturizing soap

2. Chocolate coated crisped Rice treat (in a football shape)

3. A little Geek man about 1" tall?

4. A nice little journal for Joe to write in

5. Joe's favorite - A Bible CD on audio for Psalms 1-42

6. GI soldier figurines ?

7. Bath butter Olive Sage

8. Bible word-finds puzzle book

9. Batteries for his games

10. AND a NFL Trivial Pursuit football game, where you guess players, stats and the like.

All in all, very thoughtful gifts that this angel of Joe's knew that he wanted. He is so lucky to have caring case workers that like him so much.
Got to run the phones are ringing here at work. Dave

Posted at 11:55 AM

Thu - October 19, 2006

Still paranoid Joe is!

Well, Joe had his operation the other day, something called a Arteriovenous Fistula procedure to his artery and vein. Don't have the brochure in front of me of what it is actually called, but pretty sure that was it. Other than some soreness, Joe says he's doing alright. Of course he suffers from what he calls his fainting spells still, where he becomes paranoid and anxious feeling.
Around some of the people there I can understand why he does.
To see Joes operation/procedure go to:

http://www.bidmc.harvard.edu/display.asp?leaf_id=5168

Take care all :Dave

Posted at 02:18 PM

Sun - October 8, 2006

Joe's latest status

Well, Joe is doing a lot better last Saturdays visit. Hardly talked about the crazies and his daily dilemma at all. A first in a long time. I usually go in with some trepidation about having to listen to it all again, but Joe was pleasantly mellow that day. He has gone five days without fainting so think that has him in a better mood. It's bad enough having to live with the sick people there, day-in-and-day-out like Joe does, but then to have to suffer his fainting spells on top of all that would tend to make anyone less than jovial.

Joe handed me a batch of new photos, and I told him I would add them to the blog here. His dialysis has been going fairly smoothly. Next week he goes in for surgery to place a port into his arm (wrist area) where according to the medical people is less likely to have infections. Currently his port is in his chest. It only takes about a hour for the surgery, and of course no food beforehand. Joe's not to happy about it, but putting on a good face about it. I think with all considering Joe's dealing a lot better than most of us would. Have a good day. :Dave

Posted at 04:12 PM Read More

Tue - August 22, 2006

Joe’s finally -- doing Dialysis

Joe finally succumbed to his kidney failure problems last Wed the 16th 2006. You may recall he has been operating on only 10% function of his kidneys and Dr.'s were amazed he even had lasted this long. Joe had been extremely reticent to have the operation they would need to do because of all the tubes protruding from his body and so hesitated as long as he was able. Well, his body was unable to wait any longer.

He had been having bad headaches regularly for about two weeks and basically just lacking in the strength even to read his bible as he put it. He took his meds one evening and promptly heaved them up. Then the next morning he could not keep his breakfast down, so the nurses decided to get him to the hospital immediately.

I was finally contacted by the hospital Thursday AM with a message that Joe wanted to let me know he was in the hospital and for me to visit him there. After work at 3 p.m. I left to see him. He already had the surgery done to place the stunt in his chest, and was a bloody mess. They had done 2 hours Dialysis the first day Wednesday, and then another 2-1/2 the following day as well as given him some blood, as he was extremely anemic.

I had been trying (unsuccessfully) to get Joe to do the Dialysis for some time and had basically told him to do it two days before this happened. Dixie the caring neighbor lady and Good Samaritan also had pleaded with Joe to begin the process. She visits Joe on Wednesdays and plays scrabble and prays with him. Joe needs the comfort of normal people’s visits as he puts it to help keep him feeling a little saner. Geez, I wonder if that included me? :D

Joe called me this Tuesday morning to inform me that he did not do as well with the 3rd dialysis on Monday and after some food lost it and felt noxious afterwards. They explained that often happens to some patients and will improve over time. He is scheduled to go in for Dialysis on Mon, Wed, and Fri about 4 hours each time. Joe is excited at least he says of the prospect of getting away from the real crazy’s for a while.

Mr. Terry from the Oregon State Hospital (OSH) stayed with Joe all day the first day and a half then was relieved by Michelle about 11 p.m. the next day, one of Joe’s caseworkers. I left a couple hours after she showed up as I had been there for eight hours already and totally getting burned out. Michelle is one of the rare and very special and dedicated case workers that OSH has, and Joe is very lucky to have her by his side rooting him on and doing what she can to get Joe on outings and watching over him. She goes way beyond the call of duty and I suspect has even crossed the line a time or two to help Joe where the powers-to-be are none to happy.

Well that’s what’s new with Joe, and I am still trying to find some full-time work of any capacity. Hope all is well with you all. Be happy – Dave

PS: I will be unable to write as often in my blog because I cannot afford the Internet connection any longer until I find more permanent work. I have to write it up now and then take my laptop into work and re-connect there to upload to the net.

Joe and his case worker Michelle

Joe's site of Dialysis

Posted at 06:30 PM Read More

Wed - July 5, 2006

Joe finally gets to Mt. Angel

Well, we finally did get to go on a outing last Thursday to Joe's spot he has been wanting or dreaming to go on for over 3 years. Mt. Angel Abbey, and I think he really enjoyed it. Joe's dream is to become a priest. First though we went to a St. Patrick's church in Independence, then Brigittine Monks Monastery in Amity where besides praying most the day they make the best chocolate in the world. Then the sisters of Benedictine close to Mt. Angel Abbey.

It all was finally approved, mostly because Joe's case workers Michelle and Danny going to bat for him. She told her unit director she'd take Joe on her day off and gave some really good rational why she wanted to. So the director said OK! And all this only took three years to get approved. Geez - Wish Michelle was around a few years ago. She is a very devoted caring case worker as is Danny. If it were not for their efforts Joe would never have made it there. They took him alone (no other patients) and me on their day off. Their day off. Pretty dam special I thought. I told them I would help them out if they ever needed some graphics work.

Next they have a trip to the coast planned and invited me to go. Hopefully I can get off work. I really would love to get away for the day and put all the money woes behind me for a day.

Well, back to Craigslist to look for more work. Hope you are all well :Dave

Mt. Angel Abbey and seminary where Joe thinks he wants to go.

Inside the Abbey Chapel, walk in to see this ... Then turn around to see the pipes.

Joe wanted to see the stations of the cross with Danny and Michele. Part of Mt. Angel

Michele sitting at the lily pad pond.

Danny with his cool green shoes!

Joe sitting in the Priests chairs.

Joe, Michele and Danny at Brigittine Priory of Our Lady of Consolation in Amity, Or -
the Order of the most holy Savior. They make some of the world's best chocolates here.

Chapel at the Brigantine Monastery

Praying Michele or maybe sleeping. The day wore us all out.

Posted at 10:01 PM

Sat - June 3, 2006

Latest on Joe

Off to see brother Joe in a few minutes. He seems to be doing better health-wise according to Joe. Has been going on many outings as he can fit into his schedule. His two case workers, Michelle and Danny have been good to him, taking Joe alone to parks and outings like movies and mall shopping and the like. Hope Joe doesn't do anything to screw it up. Below are more shots of a recent outing to the Silver Creek Falls State park. He's been there before, but enjoys it a lot just to get away for the day.

Well just got back from visiting with Joe. He was fine, yammered on about his same stories of course ... boredom, belly of the whale, wanting to be a priest and etc, etc. Beat me at cribbage, but nothing new there. Noticed they have a few new people, one very young and pretty 20 something girl. Have to wonder!? Poor thang. Tired, so time for a nap.

Posted at 01:28 PM

Thu - April 27, 2006

Joe's trip to Coast and latest Dr. News!

Last week Joe got to go on an outing to Lincoln beach and says he had a good time. Shortly afterwards
he tells me what the latest Dr. news is on his health. Well to date we are still waiting to see what Joe's
decision will be. Hope he makes the right one! His kidney Dr. called me at my urging and basically said
that Joe only had 2 weeks to two months to live if he fails to do the dialysis. His kidneys are just operating
at a mere 10%. Hope they are wrong. Only time will tell.

Posted at 10:49 PM

Sat - April 8, 2006

Sick, sick - Joe!

Hi all,
I have not yet found a dam job yet, although I constantly get good vibes from people. I went to several retirement homes and in one had a job IF I was married. They were looking for a couple. The other location said they need positions opened in a couple depts, and asked if I could do recreation. I said sure, and have called back 4 times now with now luck yet. The HR person said she had passed my application on to two of the dept. heads, so still hope I guess.

Went to mother's favorite store for work (Goodwill) and attached to the bldg. is a job referral place. I spoke with a Michael See and he gave me some good information of what to do with my resume etc, but also said that Salem unfortunately is a very odd town for getting work. I think he also meant age wise. He sent me over to the AARP organization and I filled out some more apps and talked to the people there. Old people :D Looks like I need to redo my resume to a more generic version and return to them on Monday. That's if Joe would leave me alone for a few days.

He has been suffering a lot lately with what he calls fainting spells of getting very nervous and tense and strange feeling and having to go to his room till it's passes. He's been hearing voices non-stop all day he tells me, and it's bothering him a lot. I had called him Friday to tell him I couldn't make our usually 2 p.m. visit as I have interviews etc to go to and would come Sat. He begged and begged me to come anyway as he was suffering greatly and needed a visit NOW!

He was so insistent that I had to go. So here I am trying to get things done today when he calls again and was in a real bad mood again, because they had denied him privileged of going out to a handball tournament with other patients. When he asked Why, they explained it was due to his sex offender status. He told me he was never denied going before and was extremely upset about it, begging me again to come visit him today least he goes mad. Madder!

I need to get to Wal• Mart again this weekend to talk to the store manager who seemed to take a liking to me when I went to apply last week. I had filled out the application on their store computer, (40 mins) then walked around store till I located him and introduced myself and what I was looking for. He took me to the back room, where the apps go and was going to look at it with me, but the people were gone for the day could help get it off the computer. Obviously He did not have the skills to operate computer otherwise he could have pulled the info himself.

Got to run to get ready to visit Joe again. Dave

Posted at 05:04 PM

Mon - April 3, 2006

Norwalk Virus and Brother Joe!

Norwalk Virus Infection

Here's the latest update on Joe. He (and his ward 35C) had been on a quarantine for the past two weeks with this virus thing and he was really going nuts. No visits from me, and he can't go out anywhere. Someone, a visitor - brought in the virus, probably from a cruise they said. Although I think one of the patients themselves could also have easily spread it. LUCKLY Joe did not get the bug, thank God. Had my first visit this last Saturday. He was happy to see me finally.

SO, What is the Norwalk virus infection?

Norwalk virus infection is an intestinal illness that often occurs in outbreaks.
Norwalk and Norwalk-like viruses are increasingly being recognized as leading causes of foodborne disease in the United States.
The viruses are passed in the stool of infected persons. People get infected by swallowing stool-contaminated food or water. Outbreaks in the United States are often linked to raw oysters.
Infected people usually recover in 2 to 3 days without serious or long-term health effects.
To prevent Norwalk virus infection: 1) wash hands with soap and warm water after toilet visits and before preparing or eating food; 2) cook all shellfish thoroughly before eating; 3) wash raw vegetables before eating; and 4) dispose of sewage in a sanitary manner.

If you want to research it any further go to:
http://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en-us&q=norwalk+virus&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8

Well, that's all now for Joe. Later, Dave
p.s. there are two more entries below to check out.

Posted at 11:14 PM

Fri - March 10, 2006

Addendum to Joe's hearing!

I forgot to mention how Joe ended his competency hearing yesterday, Thursday 3-9-06 - as I said I am usually so frustrated by it all - I didn't want to even think about it. After the Judge was laying out Joe's sentence of another 6 months, Joe speaks up (not calmly) and says -- (you are going to love this) - he says to the Judge, "I have to warn you, that I can't guarantee I'll be there, (meaning at OSH) I may feel like running off or somehow think of a way to escape or get to the prison." Some words to the affect. I know Joe is frustrated, but really Joe - how dumb is that? Threatening words to the judge isn't the most clever thing to do. Poor guy! He had explained to the judge earlier how demeaning it is to live at OSH with all the crazies, and why He was more comfortable at the prison. I admit he did explain the situation pretty clearly without any ill will towards staff or patients. Although I know his story is related differently to me. He is getting more than frustrated for sure.

After all the prosecutions reasons why Joe should stay committed at OSH, the fears they have that Joe would do some harm (to women, the community or himself) in less than 6 months if let out -- He goes and basically proves them right with his mindless dribble, and of course cuts his own throat once again in the process. I am certain the judge was thinking with Joe's crazy ravings of throwing the key away at this point. Geez!

The Dr. Shrink afterwards had told me of a new drug that has been proven to be very successful in helping Schizophrenic people almost return to total normalcy. (hey it's a word, president Kennedy used it :D) Although the drug is new it is also VERY expensive and in Joe's case could not be used as it affects the blood level readings and due to his Myeloma cancer, they would be unable to accurately plot Joe's condition. Guy can't win for losing.

Well, my alarm went off - it is time for me to see my Neurologist and find out the results of my MRI scans. Wish me luck, -- Later, :Dave

Posted at 11:43 AM

Thu - March 9, 2006

Hearing went, well like hell!

Today was Joe's hearing and as expected, they will keep him there at least another six month's. I can't and don't even want to try to explain the craziness from Joe's hearing. Mostly of course from Joe's side, but at one point I had to speak up and challenge the prosecutors facts. They didn't have the answer to my inquiries, so guess it gave them a little something to think about. It had to do with the facts of why Joe was tossed into prison to begin with.

It is so hard to see Joe slipping farther from reality at times though. He just doesn't get it, and is way to obstinate and unbending in his beliefs to be helped. So typical of Schizophrenia. I stayed afterwards and spoke to the shrink Dr. about Joe. We had a nice chat and got to know each other a bit.

Well, that's all I can write about it today. Each visit with Joe tends to wear me out. All I can do is come home and crash from it all. I can so feel for the Folks and all they had to go through with poor Schizo Joe and putting up with "The System". Even though, bureaucracy is always difficult, they are also helping Joe an awful lot. This month alone the Dr. was telling me the cost of caring for Joe in the mental institution and his medical needs rose to a little over $37,000.00 dollars. Ouch, where would poor Joe be without their help? Most likely - very dead and gone. Unfortunately in Joe's case, He would probably prefer that over being locked-up with the looneys :Dave

Posted at 04:31 PM Read More

Sun - March 5, 2006

Joe the horse?

Had an unusual visit with brother Joe Friday. During my visit with him, He had a Epileptic attack I think! The first I have witnessed in a very long time. He had just finished beating me at a game of Cribbage when it happened. We were talking and I had just sat down on the couch, when he says "sometimes I get these very strange feelings come over me." He no more than finished that sentence when He stooped forward, and with a totally blank stare in his eyes started to rock back and forth a bit, and grabbed his left side rubbing or pinching it in a repetitive manor. He looked every bit like the crazed person then. I asked what's wrong Joe and he didn't answered, instead he just started to act as if he was ready to throw up but instead started to make this flapping sound with his lips, like a horse would do. I thought he was messing with me at first, but realized that was not the case. I got up and talked to him and rubbed his back while he continued this odd behavior for at least a minute.

After it was over I tried to talk to him, but he seemed somewhere else entirely. I asked him what day it was - he didn't know. I asked him to put his arms out as one of the simple tests for stroke, which he did with no problem. He had a hard time wondering who I was, and what day it was though. After about 5 minutes he seemed to slowly come out of it. I asked him to get his blood pressure checked, and he agreed after some hesitation.

Michelle, one of the good staff people came in to take his BP and it was fine, a little low even. She thought it must have been an Epilepsy attack from my description of it. Poor Joe, he looked so lost and confused during the episode. I had to leave shortly thereafter, but asked Michelle if she could please keep an eye on him for awhile and She agreed. Joe seemed better as I left, but just stood there like a sad forlorn and lost puppy not wanting me to go.

Oh man, somedays! Well, need to get back at hunting for that elusive job. :Dave

Posted at 05:55 AM

Mon - December 12, 2005

Joe's Pittock Mansion trip!

The Pittock Mansion trip Joe took this week had clear skies but cold weather Joe says. He had a good time, and enjoyed the beauty of this portland landmark.

Today, I went with Joe to his Dr appointment and velcade cancer treatment. Afterwards, I continued my visit with Joe back at the hospital. Doctor Orlowski said Joe's blood condition was improving but still needs to go a bit further to be normal.

For more information on this beautiful Mansion go to
http://www.viamagazine.com/top_stories/articles/portland_pittockmansion.asp
The Pittock Mansion trip Joe took this weekThe Pittock Mansion trip Joe took this week

The Pittock Mansion trip Joe took this weekThe Pittock Mansion trip Joe took this wee

The Pittock Mansion trip Joe took this weekThe Pittock Mansion trip Joe took this wee

The Pittock Mansion trip Joe took this weekThe Pittock Mansion trip Joe took this week

Posted at 11:08 PM

Thu - December 8, 2005

Joe had a new outing to WFC!

Joe visited the (WFC) World Forestry Center in Portland this last week and enjoyed his trip He said. Picture below shows Joe seated at the console that lets you virtually drive a harvester machine that pulls or cuts the trees down then strips the branches off then next feeds said tree into another machine that cuts it to the size you dial into it to fit the log trucks etc. Joe said he did not do well on it.

NEWS, well finally the Psych Dr. from Portland made it down to interview Joe (for 2 hours.) Joe thinks it went alright and that he and staff (not me) will be able to go to the church Joe wanted to attend for mass. I was a bit turned off that after ALL this time fighting for Joe, they are not going to include me in it, etc. that was what it was all about. For Joe and I to get to go out together.
OH well, if Joe is happy that's what counts. Perhaps later they'll let us go together.

Want to listen to a beautifully song sung by Kenny Rogers and Wynonna Judd? Go to this site to listen to "Mary did you know" http://www.andiesisle.com/Mary.html Happy Holidays to you all :Dave
what it was all about. OH well, if Joe is happy that's what counts. Perhaps later they'll let us go together.

Posted at 01:58 PM

Mon - November 28, 2005

Joe's 44th birthday at OSH 11-25-05!

Joe had a good day on his birthday, mentally at least. Seemed more awake & astute than ever, but fear if he stops taking his meds he'll spiral down again. Hope not! Movie below, which I hope you all can view, is in quicktime format, I took of Joe with my camera. If you do not have the quicktime reader, it is a Free download at this site http://www.apple.com/quicktime/download/win.html

If you have an earlier/older OS (operating system) Windows 2000 or later or Windows ME, 98, 2000 and XP", go here and hit the download button.
http://www.apple.com/downloads/macosx/apple/quicktime652forwindows.html

I'm assuming you all have them, but you'll also need a sound card and speakers to Hear this movie of Joe. A no brainer if you have a Mac because they all come with these necessary items already built right in. Windows older machines I keep forgetting have no speakers or sound cards, gee no wonder they were cheaper than Macs. :D Some of the older folks here at the apartments wanted to see and hear the movie of Joe, but unfortunately have older PCs and can't. I spent an hour yesterday with one trying to help her out, only to find out she didn't have a sound card or speakers!

I'll try to make this movie size a little smaller for the window later. Let me know if you can view it or not?
p.s.: Interesting fact. Joe and brother Jeff share the same day for their birthdays, though 6 years apart. :Dave
If you have a later version go to home-page

Joe ran out of time by his slow talk, but at the end he says love & God bless to you all.
Joe ran out of time by his slow talk (although 10x's faster than it use to be), but at the end he says love & God bless to you all.

Posted at 09:58 AM

Joe's latest adventure!

Joes' Silvercreek falls outing!

15 minutes of fame!

Joe's outing to the horses!

Joe needs some food!

Joe's doing better

Just a waiting, what will joe do!?

Joe's prognosis is not good!

Latest with Bro Joe!

Another 6 months

Joe the Priest!?