>
Tue - January 6, 2009I'm still chipping away at it...At some point, I will hose everything in my sites
folders at Apple and hope that Google will eventually come around to the
realization that I am only an insignificant ort in the universe of eaters of
orts who also know that Google sucks (not even big time), along with all the
social networking sites that still haven't come to the realization that the
kinder and gentler American that George Herbert Hoover Walker Bush (King Stupid
the First) talked about was based on a concept of linkage that did not involve
casings from pig intestines and ground meat combined with a secret combination
of herbs and spices.
Posted at 04:49 PM Imagine it all
Mark it:
Sun - September 21, 2008Irrational Exuberance Wins Out!Really. George Herbert Hoover Bush has cemented
his legacy as the worst of the worst, and the citizens of the NOMF™ are
rushing to reward him and his friends and neighbors with the kinds of accolades
normally reserved for outstanding high school
athletes.
You the CEO of a failed investment bank who rode the optimism of My Pet Goat and the war on terra for 7 years and are about to experience the ultimate wipeout of a mere $18 million severance package and plummeting real estate values on your several dozen properties around the globe? No problem. The NOMF willingly steps up to the tune of $700 billion to ensure that you and your children will not have to pay for your failures, because those who dream should be rewarded, unless they are poor or complainers. Posted at 01:21 PM Imagine it all
Mark it:
Thu - September 4, 2008Damn, you gotta be impressed with the liberal mediaThey spent two days doing for the McCain/Palin
ticket doing what they did for Fubar Ubu and the boys for nearly seven years.
Posted at 05:19 PM Imagine it all
Mark it:
Mon - August 25, 2008Obama bin Biden His TimeThat's a bumper sticker I could put on my
Infinity...
Posted at 09:40 PM Imagine it all
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Fri - June 20, 2008Dinosaurs were just not sarcastic enough...At least that's what this story seems to indicate. Those big old
sauropods not only suffered from AIDS and a host of technological deficiencies
— if they'd only had air-conditioning, they might have outlasted that
cosmic surgical strike — it now appears, like the turkeys they evolved
into, they were unable to appreciate irony. As if.
Posted at 09:47 PM Imagine it all
Mark it:
Mon - April 7, 2008Bobby we hardly knew ye...I guess the Putz Puller Prize committee finally
recognized that there really is no success like failure and that failure is
perfectly acceptable when you give the surge a chance and you're not sure about
your religious identity, as if it matters.
Posted at 05:12 PM Imagine it all
Mark it:
Wed - April 2, 2008All we are saying is give surge a chance...Hey, what can I say beyond I told you so, and I'm
still telling you so. The American people are bloodthirsty idiots who would camp
out to be first in line for the Blue Light Auschwitz special. They are a nasty
competitive bunch that God left on this planet so that the really important
areas of the cosmos would not have to deal with them until the important areas
of the cosmos were prepared to move elsewhere to avoid infection by
freedomocracy and the need to be number one or just try harder.
Posted at 10:27 AM Imagine it all
Mark it:
Fri - March 7, 2008Bush: It's clear queers, libs and terrorists have slowed economySad thing is many ignorant Americans still
believe most of the drool that passes for communication when it drips from the
malignant lips of this great democracy of yours. I was only accidentally born
into this mess, and I have yet to hear a compelling argument to convince me to
pledge allegiance to family and friends, much less politicians and bureaucrats.
And the liberal media? If the media is liberal — and American liberals
among the least tolerant ignoroids I've had to dissociate with since elementary
school — why does it continue to play the NOMF™ like a digital drum
set? The real story is not how hard Johnny "Hanoi Hilton" McCain is having to
work to rise above the battle of the Deomcratic Titanics. It's not about whether
a Chicago political tool can caucus his way to a nomination that is sure to
McGovern the 2008 race and give this sorry ass morally corrupt NOMF™ four
more years of the kind of entertainment the liberal media has been feeding it
for 20 years. The story isn't even about binary existence. Does the world need
more zeroes, or more ones?
Posted at 12:15 PM Imagine it all
Mark it:
Thu - February 14, 2008Stocks in the Bernanke; Fed chief is positively negativeI'm having a bernanke of a day. Started off when
the car would start because the bernanke was stuck, so I had to pop the hood and
give it a couple of whacks with the heavy-duty philips-head screwdriver I keep
to get the rim covers off. Almost bernankied a doe and two kids on the road down
to the highway. I've been sick for better than a week now with the Boris Vian
flu.
Posted at 07:59 PM Imagine it all
Mark it:
Fri - January 4, 2008I guess I have to admit to being a member of al Qaeda in SantalandWhat the hell is the matter with you people? My
initial impression is that the U.S. ordered and carried out the assassination of
Pat Benatar Bhuttofuocca, and my intitial impressions have turned out being
accurate 73.42% of the time since 1962, when I suggested that Kennedy
assassination was carried out in retaliation for Stanley Kubrick's lawsuit to
delay the release of Fail
Safe, which I suspected was bankrolled by New
England liberal Democracks.
I fully expect the right wing to ignore my latest charges of CIA involvement in another assassination to help the neverending reelection campaign war against sanity, but the liberals will no doubt take the bait and run with it, and you will follow behind like a school of starving remora looking for the welfare detritus. Happy New Year, Americans! I'm so glad I have no use for you. Posted at 12:35 PM Imagine it all
Mark it:
Mon - November 26, 2007What? Clarification please...Am I supposed to feel the holiday spirit to learn
that the Iraqinese government installed by the NOMF™ has agreed to ask us
stupid billpayers (that's the Bush administration term for taxpayers, as you all
know, which is who the Democrats and liberals would be charging for these
services) to keep your boys and girls and husbands and wives (I am not a
breeder, and I have no one in harm's way that I give a shit about —
including you, by the way) to keep the world ripe and swollen for freedomocratic
penetration which is what the NOMF demands these days.
Posted at 05:43 PM Imagine it all
Mark it:
Tue - November 20, 2007Double your pleasure, double your funDr. Pants has thrown down the gauntlet on our
recent dispatch concerning imaginary diseases that apparently did not do justice
to his own imaginary 9 inch lumber laying problem involving the widely rumored
spontaneously wriggley gummy dick, sometimes called inappropriately vibrating
penis disorder (IVPD). In this post, we will delve deeper into such crotchety
issues and trust you, too, (as well as U2) will do the Gary Francis Powers for
us all. Rub it!
Posted at 08:43 PM Imagine it all
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Tue - October 16, 2007Corrections: Guiliani, Nigras, Reagan, Lloyd Bentsen, Rogue Nations, and 30 Rock ObamaWhere is Abner Louima when we need him,
broomstick in hand? I bet he's dancing with Lenny Bruce up in buttfucking
hebben. Any takers, pussified kikers?
Posted at 09:21 PM Imagine it all
Mark it:
Mon - September 10, 2007A few random thoughtsHeadlines the liberal media should really be
running, actually...
Posted at 08:47 PM Imagine it all
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Sat - September 1, 2007Idaho faggot in denial says he lives in his own private cornholePoor scumbag what's his name Craig? You want to
play politics? This is politics, dimbulb.
Posted at 06:02 PM Imagine it all
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Sun - August 5, 2007Bukowski used to say......he didn't like people, except to fuck with. I
could never argue with that opinion on several levels, although I prefer fucking
inflatable dolls manufactured in China using sheep-harvested condoms from
Turkey. Most people are sheep, and Americans most of all. The really mean sheep
have guns. The ubersheep have the bombs I wish I could get my hands on. You
wouldn't have to worry about terrorists, if I had the bomb. You wouldn't have to
worry about anything. And the really petty sheep are your friends, your family,
your coworkers, and those assholes who win their wings every time you hear a
bell ring.
Posted at 03:20 PM Imagine it all
Mark it:
Sun - June 24, 2007I've been asked by my sponsors...to tone down the attacks on the disphits over at
the Al Franken board (Go ahead and sign up and tell
them that either Bob Dobalina, OBL, LesBios, Napalm 13, SleeperCell, FoulAl,
Beth, Grypho, Moll, Rards, Dande, OBL, VOR, Footsniffa, Lmilovey, or YoMutha
sent you, or better yet don't. I'm having too much fun tweaking their noses
politely and killing them softly, like
American
Pie). Because my sponsors provide a
significant portion of my funding, I did not immediately blow them off,
considering it was three days to the electronic funds transfer. Now that the
funds have cleared, I told my sponsors to stick their requests up their virtual
asses. I have not received a reply. This is not connected, by the way, with my
contention that Google Sucks, which anyone with any sense, common or uncommon,
knows is true.
Posted at 05:35 PM Imagine it all
Mark it:
Tue - June 12, 2007Liberal media needs to rethink Iraq death countA few days ago, the American death toll in
Fubar's entertaining reelection campaign war on the idea that he was worried
about his legacy reached 3,500. At 4-5 a day, we're closer to whatever goal the
Defense and State Departments have for the concept of acceptable losses. I had
originally expected the Bush administration to quickly attack reports of this
grim new milestone in failure and futility by sending Malignant White House
Asshole Tony Snow out to explain why things are always darkest before the dawn,
and you can't expect the glass to be half full when everyone is rocking the boat
with both oars in the water waiting for the other shoe to drop while our enemies
are driving trucks through the leaks in our intelligence and justice
initiatives, and I could go on, but Shirley, you get the picture.
Posted at 07:51 PM Imagine it all
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Sun - May 20, 2007Poetry still makes nothing happen...I just listened to an NPR report about a
collection a poems from the Guantanamo detainees who have spent several years in
cages, after the initial feel-good footage of guys with bags over their heads,
their hands shackled behind their backs and attached to their leg irons,
squatting behind barbed wire fencing, which even so close to 9/11, the day that
changed absolutely nothing, sickened me more than usual about the
NOMF.
Posted at 05:22 PM Imagine it all
Mark it:
Wed - May 2, 2007How could I forget Poland?I guess I've been so wrapped up in celebrating
the fourth anniversary of the First Idiot in his sweaty leather codpiece trying
to bury May Day with his Mission Accomplished horse exhaust that I haven't had
time to thank the Poles (as opposed to the polls, about which I pay no
attention, in a First Idiot kind of way) for their daily forays to this site,
whether for good or evil. About 30% of the hits recently have come that reliable
butt of good old NOMF jokes. Where have all the Mary Kate and Ashley
coprophiliac fans gone?
Posted at 06:06 PM Imagine it all
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Tue - April 17, 2007Careful with that Ismail Ax, EugeneSo Fubar and Dimbulb went down to Blacksburg in
their never-ending campaign war effort to establish a place in history for the
toxic gene pool of the Bush gonads as the greatest Christian contribution to
mankind since one of those saints or saintesses whose names you'd remember in a
minute if I mentioned it.
Jeez Louise, Thelma, it's looking like the war on terror must be expanded to include foreign born English majors who write disturbing stories. Words always speak larger than actions, after all. Later this week, the psychologists and counsellors and assorted queefing professionals will begin offering suggestions that Johnny Joe Gung-Ho was over-compensating for his failure as a playwright. Fortunately, I am American born and bred with native blood mixed in and only write disturbing poems. I don't know how many times today I heard or read that "if only one citizen was properly armed, so many tragic deaths could have been avoided." Of course, Johnny Joe was properly armed. He bought his weapons properly. He purchased his ammo and support gear properly. He carried out whatever incomprehensible mission from God properly and efficiently, showing no mercy, taking no prisoners, and refusing to be taken alive. Imagine if there were 300 of him! They could have held off the Hokies and several other powerhouse teams for days! Posted at 09:26 PM Imagine it all
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Thu - April 12, 2007Poo-tee-weet? YNE1? Rented a tent, a tent, a tent...Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. is dead. He apparently died
from brain injuries sustained while engaged in a slapstick impression of Chevy
Chase doing Gerald Ford, followed by Gerald Ford doing Gerald Ford. I will miss
not reading new stuff he will never write. So it goes. On the other hand, new
releases of his work, like that of Zappa and Bukowski will probably outlast many
of you.
Posted at 05:22 PM Imagine it all
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Wed - April 4, 2007Sweet Jesus, won't you melt in my mouth and not in my hands!Yet more proof that you can take the brain out of
the zombie but you can never put a brain into an citizen of the
NOMF.
Posted at 09:50 PM Imagine it all
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Mon - November 6, 2006Rove Cheney Blast Christ!Really? Is Jesus Christ really going to be shot
in the face for avoiding Fubar's Florida visit this morning?
Posted at 04:46 PM Imagine it all
Mark it:
Fri - August 4, 2006 |
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Total entries in this category: Published On: Jan 06, 2009 04:49 PM |
