Liberal media throws support to McCain
Beth Hymens
Al Franqen Spokesthingie
Metempsychotic Imaginary Press Service
0110202008OMIOSAMA16503002PMS
Al Franqen Spokesthingie
Metempsychotic Imaginary Press Service
0110202008OMIOSAMA16503002PMS
ST. CHUCK, Misery (MIPS) — The liberal
media on Monday dutifully reported claims by Republican presidential candidate
John McCain and his supporters that Democrat Barack Obama is a liberal
pretending to be black while kowtowing to the radical feminists and pro-abortion
baby-killers who are funding his
campaign.
Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-S.C., introduced McCain to the crowd in this crucial swing state by noting McCain's stint as a prisoner of war during the failed Vietnam conflict, which many believe remains his enduring chief qualification for becoming President: "John's been there and he's met a little tougher people in his life than the elitist liberal media and even the regular Joe liberal media," Graham joked in apparent reference to McCain's running mate, Sarah Palin, whose recent campaign appearance impersonating Tina Fey on Saturday Night Live boosted the show to ratings unheard of since Gerald Ford was president.
In a remark he later claimed had "nothing to do with our unfortunate and inexperienced opponent," Graham ordered the crowd to "Show us that you all understand and see a liberal when he's standing out there in front of you, no matter the color of his skin or how nappy his hair is. Come election day, make sure you show America that it does matter that you keep your word if you're president of the United States and that you not pal around with terrorists."
McCain has grown increasingly desperate in the final weeks of the campaign as he falls further behind in the polls and is now considered irrelevant even by Ralph Nader, who has focused his campaign on the economy. Nader considers his only opponent to be Illinois Senator Barack Obama of whom he says, "Let's be serious here a moment and call a spade a spade, OK? Senator Obama is the greatest con man to come along since Ronald Reagan and his hokey idea of morning in America. A vote for Obama is a vote for killer trees."
McCain opened his remarks by defending Alaska Governor Sarah Palin against imaginary attacks from outer space and the Eastern intellectual establishment, which was recently removed from the endangered species list after the last Eastern intellectual was run over by a truck on September 11, 2008, while crossing the street reading a decades old copy of the New York Times Book Review.
"My friends, it's remarkable to hear and read the comments of the feminazi left about Sarah Palin," he said as the PowerPoint slide behind him prompted the crowd to boo derisively and shout: "Triators! Terrorists! Hang them! Hissss!"
"I want to tell you," McCain continued, "I am so proud of the way Governor Palin has energized America with her confidence and executive experience, and her great sense of humor. Did you see her on Saturday Night Live? I think she showed them, don't you? She is a preformer, she is a great leader, she is the most popular governor in America, even more than the Governator, and I can hardly wait to introduce her to Washington, D.C."
McCain's staff later said that the McCain's comments did not implying that former Secretary of State Colon Bowell was a left-of-center feminist and pro-abortion liberal, although on the previous day, Bowell called McCain's choice of Palin, "unfortunate and, to be blunt, pretty fucking stupid."
Bowell referred to Palin as an "irritating former beauty contestant who is about as qualified to become president as my illiterate grandmother, who is dead, I might add. Someone should check John into a psychiatric ward for observation and treat for delusional behavior."
The choice of Palin, the former military commander said had forced him to cross party lines and endorse Obama for president. "The choice between an intelligent black man and an aging war hero whose first big decision is to pick a corrupt tart from a podunk state we bought from Russia? Give me a break."
© Copyright 2008, Faustroll, Ligi, and Associates. All Rights Reserved. The Portland Pataphysical Outpatient Clinic, Lounge and Laundromat, a leisure disservice of the Church of the Oven of Peace, provides imaginary solutions to your imaginary problems and imaginary cures for your imaginary illnesses. Leading the blind since 1896.
Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-S.C., introduced McCain to the crowd in this crucial swing state by noting McCain's stint as a prisoner of war during the failed Vietnam conflict, which many believe remains his enduring chief qualification for becoming President: "John's been there and he's met a little tougher people in his life than the elitist liberal media and even the regular Joe liberal media," Graham joked in apparent reference to McCain's running mate, Sarah Palin, whose recent campaign appearance impersonating Tina Fey on Saturday Night Live boosted the show to ratings unheard of since Gerald Ford was president.
In a remark he later claimed had "nothing to do with our unfortunate and inexperienced opponent," Graham ordered the crowd to "Show us that you all understand and see a liberal when he's standing out there in front of you, no matter the color of his skin or how nappy his hair is. Come election day, make sure you show America that it does matter that you keep your word if you're president of the United States and that you not pal around with terrorists."
McCain has grown increasingly desperate in the final weeks of the campaign as he falls further behind in the polls and is now considered irrelevant even by Ralph Nader, who has focused his campaign on the economy. Nader considers his only opponent to be Illinois Senator Barack Obama of whom he says, "Let's be serious here a moment and call a spade a spade, OK? Senator Obama is the greatest con man to come along since Ronald Reagan and his hokey idea of morning in America. A vote for Obama is a vote for killer trees."
McCain opened his remarks by defending Alaska Governor Sarah Palin against imaginary attacks from outer space and the Eastern intellectual establishment, which was recently removed from the endangered species list after the last Eastern intellectual was run over by a truck on September 11, 2008, while crossing the street reading a decades old copy of the New York Times Book Review.
"My friends, it's remarkable to hear and read the comments of the feminazi left about Sarah Palin," he said as the PowerPoint slide behind him prompted the crowd to boo derisively and shout: "Triators! Terrorists! Hang them! Hissss!"
"I want to tell you," McCain continued, "I am so proud of the way Governor Palin has energized America with her confidence and executive experience, and her great sense of humor. Did you see her on Saturday Night Live? I think she showed them, don't you? She is a preformer, she is a great leader, she is the most popular governor in America, even more than the Governator, and I can hardly wait to introduce her to Washington, D.C."
McCain's staff later said that the McCain's comments did not implying that former Secretary of State Colon Bowell was a left-of-center feminist and pro-abortion liberal, although on the previous day, Bowell called McCain's choice of Palin, "unfortunate and, to be blunt, pretty fucking stupid."
Bowell referred to Palin as an "irritating former beauty contestant who is about as qualified to become president as my illiterate grandmother, who is dead, I might add. Someone should check John into a psychiatric ward for observation and treat for delusional behavior."
The choice of Palin, the former military commander said had forced him to cross party lines and endorse Obama for president. "The choice between an intelligent black man and an aging war hero whose first big decision is to pick a corrupt tart from a podunk state we bought from Russia? Give me a break."
© Copyright 2008, Faustroll, Ligi, and Associates. All Rights Reserved. The Portland Pataphysical Outpatient Clinic, Lounge and Laundromat, a leisure disservice of the Church of the Oven of Peace, provides imaginary solutions to your imaginary problems and imaginary cures for your imaginary illnesses. Leading the blind since 1896.
Posted: Mon - October 20, 2008 at 10:24 PM
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Published On: Oct 21, 2008 01:45 PM
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Published On: Oct 21, 2008 01:45 PM