Ed, Bob, and Fred join McCain/Palin team
Billy Randolph
Hurt
Imaginary Anger Desk
Pataphysical Reality Independent News Service
0710192008OHYEAOYAY20240402PMS
Imaginary Anger Desk
Pataphysical Reality Independent News Service
0710192008OHYEAOYAY20240402PMS
ROSWELL, N.M. (PRINS) — Republican
vice presidential airhead Sarah "Plainly Simply" Palin visited this UFO tourist
mecca to introduce the party faithful to several more "average hard-working
Americans" like Joe the Plumber, Chuck the Butcher, and Hank the
Mailman.
Standing before a crowd of 100,000 enthusiastic supporters at a secret hangar in Area 51, Palin noticed someone in the audience dressed like a milk carton and holding a sign that said: "Ed the Dairyman is a hard-working American." Ed was standing with Matt the Barber, Fred the Teacher, Bob the Parts Order Clerk, and Diaz the Mechanic, who all waved pro-Palin signs.
Palin fired up the crowd by contrasting the ordinary unlicensed tax-delinquent hardly-working Americans who support the Republican ticket to what she termed "an evil army of the undead, with Obama the Boogeyman in the lead, followed by Dennis the Deviant, Pete the Pedaphile, Gus the Godless, Roddy the Rapist, and Tommy the Terrorist."
"Barack Obama calls it spreading the wealth. Joe Biden calls higher taxes patriotic," Palin said. "But Joe the Plumber and Ed the Dairyman, I believe they think it sounds more like socialism. I believe they think the Democrats have turned into a bunch of goshdarn commies."
"Friends, now is no time to experiment with socialism or pal around with commies. We need to focus on getting our economy working again, and the commies would only take money away from the rich and give it to the poor, which is welfare," she shouted, as the crowd alternately cheered and booed, depending on what cue card was shown on the huge digital displays around the hanger.
Palin was in New Mexico to promote her new energy policy which includes increased drilling of obese homeless people and "oily people of questionable descent." She called for drilling "wherever we suspect to find stuff we can burn that can help us reduce dependence on that nasty Muslim oil. We need to start thinking about other energy possibilities like cow manure, Mexican food gas, and waste water."
"Our opponents keep saying, 'No, no, no,' to the kinds of sound and responsible energy solutions you people agree with," she said. "Drilling in New Mexico and elsewhere can be an economic engine to provide jobs to our supporters. And drilling in fat people can provide us with high quality oil and help them achieve their dreams of living as normal-looking humans like the Republicans and fiscal conservatives they admire and are inspired by."
© Copyright 2008, Faustroll, Ligi, and Associates. All Rights Reserved. The Portland Pataphysical Outpatient Clinic, Lounge and Laundromat, a leisure disservice of the Church of the Oven of Peace, provides imaginary solutions to your imaginary problems and imaginary cures for your imaginary illnesses. Leading the blind since 1896.
Standing before a crowd of 100,000 enthusiastic supporters at a secret hangar in Area 51, Palin noticed someone in the audience dressed like a milk carton and holding a sign that said: "Ed the Dairyman is a hard-working American." Ed was standing with Matt the Barber, Fred the Teacher, Bob the Parts Order Clerk, and Diaz the Mechanic, who all waved pro-Palin signs.
Palin fired up the crowd by contrasting the ordinary unlicensed tax-delinquent hardly-working Americans who support the Republican ticket to what she termed "an evil army of the undead, with Obama the Boogeyman in the lead, followed by Dennis the Deviant, Pete the Pedaphile, Gus the Godless, Roddy the Rapist, and Tommy the Terrorist."
"Barack Obama calls it spreading the wealth. Joe Biden calls higher taxes patriotic," Palin said. "But Joe the Plumber and Ed the Dairyman, I believe they think it sounds more like socialism. I believe they think the Democrats have turned into a bunch of goshdarn commies."
"Friends, now is no time to experiment with socialism or pal around with commies. We need to focus on getting our economy working again, and the commies would only take money away from the rich and give it to the poor, which is welfare," she shouted, as the crowd alternately cheered and booed, depending on what cue card was shown on the huge digital displays around the hanger.
Palin was in New Mexico to promote her new energy policy which includes increased drilling of obese homeless people and "oily people of questionable descent." She called for drilling "wherever we suspect to find stuff we can burn that can help us reduce dependence on that nasty Muslim oil. We need to start thinking about other energy possibilities like cow manure, Mexican food gas, and waste water."
"Our opponents keep saying, 'No, no, no,' to the kinds of sound and responsible energy solutions you people agree with," she said. "Drilling in New Mexico and elsewhere can be an economic engine to provide jobs to our supporters. And drilling in fat people can provide us with high quality oil and help them achieve their dreams of living as normal-looking humans like the Republicans and fiscal conservatives they admire and are inspired by."
© Copyright 2008, Faustroll, Ligi, and Associates. All Rights Reserved. The Portland Pataphysical Outpatient Clinic, Lounge and Laundromat, a leisure disservice of the Church of the Oven of Peace, provides imaginary solutions to your imaginary problems and imaginary cures for your imaginary illnesses. Leading the blind since 1896.
Posted: Sun - October 19, 2008 at 10:25 PM
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Published On: Oct 21, 2008 10:27 AM
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Published On: Oct 21, 2008 10:27 AM