The Decider decides to remain decided on his decidering
Harry
Houdonnahoo
Extrication Desk
Milo Minderbender Paygo Press Service
0201162007OMI06303101PMS
Extrication Desk
Milo Minderbender Paygo Press Service
0201162007OMI06303101PMS
CRAWLFOWAHD, Texas (MMPPS) – President Bush
followed up his guest appearance on
60
Minutes Monday morning by tackling a cousin
of the Cedar of Lebanon that last year left him with a shiner which he assured
the White House Press Whorps was not caused by falling out of his chair while
reaching for a PBR and choking on a pretzel. “Those days are far behind me
now,” the First Idiot grinned. “I know my limits when it comes to
pretzels.”
"I don't know about the liberals, but I'm not going to try to be popular and change my basic principles to do so. I still don’t read the newspaper, I don’t follow the polls, and I still know that the culture of life is better than the culture of evil, which is just live spelled backwards, see? I’m the decider, and I’ll keep on decisioning until God tells me to stop, cause the American people has also decided, see, by keeping me in office," Bush told his handpicked audience from the liberal media.
"I fully understand that our enemies could try to stop me," Bush said of the Congress now led by Democrats, Independents, and moderate Republicans. "But I've done my decidering, and I’m stickering to it, and we're going forward with our new course, which is to win this thing and make the Earth a better place to live, see, and get the Democrats to pass my domestic agender, which is what the American people want, not a bunch of negative talk about what is going right with our foreign policy."
Vice President Cheney emerged briefly from a burrow behind the President to add: "You can’t run a war by committee. Anybody seen Scooter?"
"A lot of my buddies here in Texas say, 'You know, let them ragheads fight it out. Why the hell should we give a shit for them sand niggers when they don't seem to care for themselfs?'" Bush said of the Iraqis. "And that's a temptation that I know a lot of folks feel because Americans are a proud people who understand there’s no one in the world can stand up to them in a fair fight. But if we do not succeed in Iraq, we will leave behind a European Union which will endanger America, and that is not gone happen on my watching."
When asked if he owes the Iraqi people an apology for fabricating reasons to topple the regime of Saddam Hussein, destroying the nation’s infrastructure, mismanaging the war, and causing more than 150,000 civilian casualties in the process, Bush tightened his jaw, grabbed his crotch, and responded: "Hell no.”
"We liberated that country from a tyrant who tried to kill my daddy and used the damn weapons of mass destruction we gave him to kill those crazy Iranians against his own people. Are you saying we should let these two bits tyrants go on by theirself without any truth, dare, consequence, promise, or repeat?" Bush said. "I think them damn Iraqinese people owe the American people a huge debt of gratitude, and we aim to remain in Iraq until they pay us."
Asked to respond to recent polls that nearly 72 percent of the American public is opposed to his plan to send an additional 21,500 troops to Iraq, Bush said: “You see? This is exactly why I don’t listen to polls or read the papers. You’re talking about a small minority of loud, ungrateful liberal troublemakers that oppose everything my family has been trying to do from global warming to tax breaks to drilling for oil in public parks. Those are public parks, we're talking and the public expects them to make a profit. What about the silent majority of patriots that reelected me and wants the Democrats to stop obstructifying my agender? What about all the good things that is happening to the Iraqinese, such as their kids getting candy and not getting left behind and the train running on time such? You never hear any of that good news in the liberal media. Its always negative which is a self abusing prophylaxisy.”
"You want to know what I think. What I think is I really ain't the kind of guy that sits here in a chair like this with my legs spread open like my predecessor did with them intern and says, 'Oh gosh, I'm worried about my legacy.' We got plenty of sayings here in Texas, and one of them is this one: ‘There's no such thing as legacies. At least, let me say it, sure, there is a legacy, but we all is never going to see it, so what the hay?’" Bush said.
Copyright © 2007, Faustroll, Ligi, and Associates. All Rights Reserved. The Portland Pataphysical Outpatient Clinic, Lounge and Laundromat, a leisure service of the Church of the Oven of Peace, provides imaginary solutions to your imaginary problems. Accept no substitutes.
Leading the blind since 1896.
"I don't know about the liberals, but I'm not going to try to be popular and change my basic principles to do so. I still don’t read the newspaper, I don’t follow the polls, and I still know that the culture of life is better than the culture of evil, which is just live spelled backwards, see? I’m the decider, and I’ll keep on decisioning until God tells me to stop, cause the American people has also decided, see, by keeping me in office," Bush told his handpicked audience from the liberal media.
"I fully understand that our enemies could try to stop me," Bush said of the Congress now led by Democrats, Independents, and moderate Republicans. "But I've done my decidering, and I’m stickering to it, and we're going forward with our new course, which is to win this thing and make the Earth a better place to live, see, and get the Democrats to pass my domestic agender, which is what the American people want, not a bunch of negative talk about what is going right with our foreign policy."
Vice President Cheney emerged briefly from a burrow behind the President to add: "You can’t run a war by committee. Anybody seen Scooter?"
"A lot of my buddies here in Texas say, 'You know, let them ragheads fight it out. Why the hell should we give a shit for them sand niggers when they don't seem to care for themselfs?'" Bush said of the Iraqis. "And that's a temptation that I know a lot of folks feel because Americans are a proud people who understand there’s no one in the world can stand up to them in a fair fight. But if we do not succeed in Iraq, we will leave behind a European Union which will endanger America, and that is not gone happen on my watching."
When asked if he owes the Iraqi people an apology for fabricating reasons to topple the regime of Saddam Hussein, destroying the nation’s infrastructure, mismanaging the war, and causing more than 150,000 civilian casualties in the process, Bush tightened his jaw, grabbed his crotch, and responded: "Hell no.”
"We liberated that country from a tyrant who tried to kill my daddy and used the damn weapons of mass destruction we gave him to kill those crazy Iranians against his own people. Are you saying we should let these two bits tyrants go on by theirself without any truth, dare, consequence, promise, or repeat?" Bush said. "I think them damn Iraqinese people owe the American people a huge debt of gratitude, and we aim to remain in Iraq until they pay us."
Asked to respond to recent polls that nearly 72 percent of the American public is opposed to his plan to send an additional 21,500 troops to Iraq, Bush said: “You see? This is exactly why I don’t listen to polls or read the papers. You’re talking about a small minority of loud, ungrateful liberal troublemakers that oppose everything my family has been trying to do from global warming to tax breaks to drilling for oil in public parks. Those are public parks, we're talking and the public expects them to make a profit. What about the silent majority of patriots that reelected me and wants the Democrats to stop obstructifying my agender? What about all the good things that is happening to the Iraqinese, such as their kids getting candy and not getting left behind and the train running on time such? You never hear any of that good news in the liberal media. Its always negative which is a self abusing prophylaxisy.”
"You want to know what I think. What I think is I really ain't the kind of guy that sits here in a chair like this with my legs spread open like my predecessor did with them intern and says, 'Oh gosh, I'm worried about my legacy.' We got plenty of sayings here in Texas, and one of them is this one: ‘There's no such thing as legacies. At least, let me say it, sure, there is a legacy, but we all is never going to see it, so what the hay?’" Bush said.
Copyright © 2007, Faustroll, Ligi, and Associates. All Rights Reserved. The Portland Pataphysical Outpatient Clinic, Lounge and Laundromat, a leisure service of the Church of the Oven of Peace, provides imaginary solutions to your imaginary problems. Accept no substitutes.
Leading the blind since 1896.
Posted: Tue - January 16, 2007 at 02:26 PM
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