Bush complains about vacation distractions
Joseph
Conrad
Leisure Writer
Pataphysical Misery Service
0603260004A911YUBSTD07221201PMS
Leisure Writer
Pataphysical Misery Service
0603260004A911YUBSTD07221201PMS
CRAWLFORWARD, Texas (PMS) — President Bush
cut short a fishing trip on his private pond Saturday to complain about the
deadliest U.S. school shooting in six years, blasting some American Indian
leaders who complained he paid little attention to the rampage, saying
"sometimes a man just needs a little time to himself, see, and he can't respond
to every little violent outburst by drunken savages at a third rate school, or
he wouldn't have time to think about the important stuff, like making sure
Terri's right are protected against the evil ones."
Bush admitted he made have mistaken the public's interest in "the unfortunate shootification up in the Red Land, but I was resting up, see, after the big fight with death and liberals," apparently a reference to his high-profile intervention to prolong the life of Terri Schiavo, a brain-damaged woman in Florida whose feeding tube was removed by her abusive husband over the protests of dozens of God-fearing morons.
Opinion polls show Bush's disapproval ratings have climbed to unprecedented highs and a few pollsters now say his intervention in the Schiavo controversy may have depleted the store of political capital he claimed to have won during last November's stolen elections.
Bush railed against the "tragicalness" of a 16-year-old boy killing nine potential neoconservatives before blowing himself up on a Minnesota Indian reservation. Monday's rampage by Jay Silverheels was the worst U.S. school shooting since 15 people died in the 1999 Columbine massacre, produced and directed by Bush arch-nemesis Michael Moore.
"We are doing everything we can to meet the needs of this disadvantaged community at this tragic time to make sure that no child is left behind that shouldn't be, like this Silverheels feller, see," Bush said in his weekly radio address one day after calling Floyd Patterson, whom he mistook for the chairman of the Red Lake Chippewa tribe, to offer his condolences to the shooting victims and their families and insurance adjusters.
Although White House spokesman Spuds MacKenzie spoke briefly about the shooting on Tuesday, calling the shooter "a teenage asshole" and Red Lake "a godforsaken pit of red-skinned demons," Bush remained in seclusion on his Texas ranch, asking for God's guidance in how to keep Schiavo alive until the rapture.
Chuck "Berry" Bellicose, a Chippewa Indian who claims to have met the founder and national director of the American Indian Movement in Red Lake, said Bush's response "was a fucking joke, man. He should have been the first one to reach out to the Red Lake Indian community, but instead he sat around eating pretzels and drinking beer with the blue coats on his ranch," he said. "He does not have any problems flying in to restore the feeding tube to Terri Schiavo, but she has a blog. I'm sure if this happened in some school in Texas and a bunch of white kids were shot down, he would have been there too, signing a bill to keep those kids on life support." Bellicose said.
Dana "Dom" Perigno, a White House spokescheerleader, said the president received "frequent and deep invasive briefings on the tragedy, which is one of the things that keeps him regular. Another is prayer."
"The president's immediate focus was on making sure the troops were responding to the needs of the community, to assure freedomocracy would win in the end. They were and they continue to do so," she said.
In his radio address, Bush said U.S. churches responded with prayers a mere hours after the shooting, "and prayer is one of the best things we have to offer, because prayer, see, says that we are humble, and we don't have all the answers, but that's what makes us great, this nation of ours, which is blessed by a God that cares for everyone, even the beaten, even the heathen, even the vanquished, even the liberals and the Democrats and their supporters, and even the redskins, under which category of forgiveness and understanding the survivors in Red Land, according to my briefings, should be filed, see?" He talked for nearly 5 minutes on the need for faith-based responses to tragedy and fiscal problems, like the bankrupt social security system, "which has been overrun by Satanists, see, and even those well-meaning handful of people over at AARP can't turn this thing around with government bail-outs alone. This is a time, now, more than ever, when all good Americans, even the Indians, need to look within to beseech their maker to give them the strength to carry on."
"As we help the families in this community, we must do everything in our power to assure God prevents tragedies like this from happening again in the future of history as he has in the past, as the Bible tells us, in these troubled times that test our faith-based best. Amen." Bush said.
Although Bush made no direct response to critics who found his involvement in the Schiavo matter "cynical, stupid, and counterproductive," he did say: "To keep our children safe and protected and unwilling to kill their grandparents to get weapons to kill their classmates, we must continue to foster a culture that affirms life and provides love, particularly to the brain damaged, and helps our young people build character even in a persistent vegetative state."
Bush was also criticized for his initial reaction to the Dec. 26 tsunami in Asia when he pledged $15 in U.S. government assistance, He later explained that he had read his checkbook balance incorrectly and subsequently increased the U.S. government's pledge once it was confirmed that more American tourist lives were lost during the tsunami than in the 9/11 terrorist attacks, after the figures where revised downward to exclude foreign nationals and illegal immigrants.
Copyright © 2005, Faustroll, Ligi, and Associates. All Rights Reserved. The Portland Pataphysical Outpatient Clinic, Lounge and Laundromat, a leisure service of the Church of the Oven of Peace, provides imaginary solutions to your imaginary problems. Accept no substitutes.
Leading the blind since 1896.
Bush admitted he made have mistaken the public's interest in "the unfortunate shootification up in the Red Land, but I was resting up, see, after the big fight with death and liberals," apparently a reference to his high-profile intervention to prolong the life of Terri Schiavo, a brain-damaged woman in Florida whose feeding tube was removed by her abusive husband over the protests of dozens of God-fearing morons.
Opinion polls show Bush's disapproval ratings have climbed to unprecedented highs and a few pollsters now say his intervention in the Schiavo controversy may have depleted the store of political capital he claimed to have won during last November's stolen elections.
Bush railed against the "tragicalness" of a 16-year-old boy killing nine potential neoconservatives before blowing himself up on a Minnesota Indian reservation. Monday's rampage by Jay Silverheels was the worst U.S. school shooting since 15 people died in the 1999 Columbine massacre, produced and directed by Bush arch-nemesis Michael Moore.
"We are doing everything we can to meet the needs of this disadvantaged community at this tragic time to make sure that no child is left behind that shouldn't be, like this Silverheels feller, see," Bush said in his weekly radio address one day after calling Floyd Patterson, whom he mistook for the chairman of the Red Lake Chippewa tribe, to offer his condolences to the shooting victims and their families and insurance adjusters.
Although White House spokesman Spuds MacKenzie spoke briefly about the shooting on Tuesday, calling the shooter "a teenage asshole" and Red Lake "a godforsaken pit of red-skinned demons," Bush remained in seclusion on his Texas ranch, asking for God's guidance in how to keep Schiavo alive until the rapture.
Chuck "Berry" Bellicose, a Chippewa Indian who claims to have met the founder and national director of the American Indian Movement in Red Lake, said Bush's response "was a fucking joke, man. He should have been the first one to reach out to the Red Lake Indian community, but instead he sat around eating pretzels and drinking beer with the blue coats on his ranch," he said. "He does not have any problems flying in to restore the feeding tube to Terri Schiavo, but she has a blog. I'm sure if this happened in some school in Texas and a bunch of white kids were shot down, he would have been there too, signing a bill to keep those kids on life support." Bellicose said.
Dana "Dom" Perigno, a White House spokescheerleader, said the president received "frequent and deep invasive briefings on the tragedy, which is one of the things that keeps him regular. Another is prayer."
"The president's immediate focus was on making sure the troops were responding to the needs of the community, to assure freedomocracy would win in the end. They were and they continue to do so," she said.
In his radio address, Bush said U.S. churches responded with prayers a mere hours after the shooting, "and prayer is one of the best things we have to offer, because prayer, see, says that we are humble, and we don't have all the answers, but that's what makes us great, this nation of ours, which is blessed by a God that cares for everyone, even the beaten, even the heathen, even the vanquished, even the liberals and the Democrats and their supporters, and even the redskins, under which category of forgiveness and understanding the survivors in Red Land, according to my briefings, should be filed, see?" He talked for nearly 5 minutes on the need for faith-based responses to tragedy and fiscal problems, like the bankrupt social security system, "which has been overrun by Satanists, see, and even those well-meaning handful of people over at AARP can't turn this thing around with government bail-outs alone. This is a time, now, more than ever, when all good Americans, even the Indians, need to look within to beseech their maker to give them the strength to carry on."
"As we help the families in this community, we must do everything in our power to assure God prevents tragedies like this from happening again in the future of history as he has in the past, as the Bible tells us, in these troubled times that test our faith-based best. Amen." Bush said.
Although Bush made no direct response to critics who found his involvement in the Schiavo matter "cynical, stupid, and counterproductive," he did say: "To keep our children safe and protected and unwilling to kill their grandparents to get weapons to kill their classmates, we must continue to foster a culture that affirms life and provides love, particularly to the brain damaged, and helps our young people build character even in a persistent vegetative state."
Bush was also criticized for his initial reaction to the Dec. 26 tsunami in Asia when he pledged $15 in U.S. government assistance, He later explained that he had read his checkbook balance incorrectly and subsequently increased the U.S. government's pledge once it was confirmed that more American tourist lives were lost during the tsunami than in the 9/11 terrorist attacks, after the figures where revised downward to exclude foreign nationals and illegal immigrants.
Copyright © 2005, Faustroll, Ligi, and Associates. All Rights Reserved. The Portland Pataphysical Outpatient Clinic, Lounge and Laundromat, a leisure service of the Church of the Oven of Peace, provides imaginary solutions to your imaginary problems. Accept no substitutes.
Leading the blind since 1896.
Posted: Sat - March 26, 2005 at 03:06 PM
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