LIST OF SUSPECTS IN COLUMBIA ATTACK GROWS
by Sylvia
Plath
UNCOMMON SENSE
Distractional Analyst
Pataphysical Military Syndicate
White House Dismisses Allegations That Israeli Was Suicide Bomber
UNCOMMON SENSE
Distractional Analyst
Pataphysical Military Syndicate
White House Dismisses Allegations That Israeli Was Suicide Bomber
NACODOGAS, Texas (PMS) As investigators continued
to focus on telemetry data from a sensor directly under the feet of Israeli
astronaut Avril Ramone, an Internet hacker using the same name said the attack
was in response for ongoing American and Israeli crimes against Palestinians and
Arabs. In messages posted at Comedy Central and the Republican Party Web site,
Ramone claimed Ramone was wearing sinister footwear designed by Zubin Sano.
Sano, who ran the Toe Jam boutique in Beirut that specializes in anti-personnel high tops similar to the ones worn by convicted shoe bomber Richard Reid, disappeared last spring during an Israeli police action at the Jenin refugee camp where he operated a not-for-profit cobbler and blacksmith shop.
Ramone, born Elian Gonzales Roman in Hoboken, New Jersey, was a colonel in the Israeli air force who also went by Ilan Ramon and Aureliano Buendia. A devout Catholic, he was the first Israeli astronaut since the prophet Ezekiel and friends and family members have vehemently denounced rumors that he may be responsible for the destruction of the Columbia as “outrageous, unfounded, and simply stupid.”
“Ilan was a good boy,” said Elizabeth Taylor, an undercover agent for Mossad, the Israeli equivalent of the Keystone Kops. “There’s no way he would have done the things they say he’s done. Sure he bombed a nuclear plant in Iraq, but everybody wants to bomb Iraq. I think it’s more likely that God blew up that shuttle than my little Ilan.”
In related developments, NASA has refused to comment on reports that some of the human remains found in Eureka Springs, Arkansas, home of Christ of the Ozarks, may belong to Christa McAuliffe, who was presumed killed during the Challenger disaster in 1991. Also among the bits and pieces of human flotsam strewn between east Texas and southeastern Louisiana are the teeth of Jimmy Hoffa, the hands of Madelyn Murray O’Hair, the heart of Jim Jones, the penis of Vernon Howell, and the tongue of Jeffrey Dahmer.
© Copyright 2003, Faustroll, Ligi, and Associates. All Rights Reserved. The Portland Pataphysical Outpatient Clinic, Lounge and Laundromat, a leisure service of the Church of the Oven of Peace, provides imaginary solutions to your imaginary problems.You just got fooled again.
Leading the blind since 1896.
Sano, who ran the Toe Jam boutique in Beirut that specializes in anti-personnel high tops similar to the ones worn by convicted shoe bomber Richard Reid, disappeared last spring during an Israeli police action at the Jenin refugee camp where he operated a not-for-profit cobbler and blacksmith shop.
Ramone, born Elian Gonzales Roman in Hoboken, New Jersey, was a colonel in the Israeli air force who also went by Ilan Ramon and Aureliano Buendia. A devout Catholic, he was the first Israeli astronaut since the prophet Ezekiel and friends and family members have vehemently denounced rumors that he may be responsible for the destruction of the Columbia as “outrageous, unfounded, and simply stupid.”
“Ilan was a good boy,” said Elizabeth Taylor, an undercover agent for Mossad, the Israeli equivalent of the Keystone Kops. “There’s no way he would have done the things they say he’s done. Sure he bombed a nuclear plant in Iraq, but everybody wants to bomb Iraq. I think it’s more likely that God blew up that shuttle than my little Ilan.”
In related developments, NASA has refused to comment on reports that some of the human remains found in Eureka Springs, Arkansas, home of Christ of the Ozarks, may belong to Christa McAuliffe, who was presumed killed during the Challenger disaster in 1991. Also among the bits and pieces of human flotsam strewn between east Texas and southeastern Louisiana are the teeth of Jimmy Hoffa, the hands of Madelyn Murray O’Hair, the heart of Jim Jones, the penis of Vernon Howell, and the tongue of Jeffrey Dahmer.
© Copyright 2003, Faustroll, Ligi, and Associates. All Rights Reserved. The Portland Pataphysical Outpatient Clinic, Lounge and Laundromat, a leisure service of the Church of the Oven of Peace, provides imaginary solutions to your imaginary problems.You just got fooled again.
Leading the blind since 1896.
Posted: Fri - February 22, 2002 at 07:49 PM
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