TEXAS CANDY THIEF LETHALLY INJECTED


by Dan White
The Portland Pataphysical Outpatient Clinic
July 21, 2001 06:21AM

DALLAS (YU) – Texas retains its reputation as the law and order capital of the world after executing a mentally handicapped prisoner originally sentenced to life for stealing a Snickers bar.

Protests by Tralfamadorians from around the universe failed to halt the homicide by lethal injection of Thomas Paine, 52, who was sentenced to 90 days in 1963 for lifting a ten-cent candy bar from an Ruby Junction grocery store.

“It was a king size,” said Ruby Junction County assistant district attorney Carole Doda when asked by reporters after the execution if she thought the punishment fit the crime.

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Posted: Sat - July 21, 2001 at 02:04 PM          
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