ONE MINUTE RETALIATIONS: A RECAPITULATION
The
One Minute Retaliation
works
best:
1. When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
When you wish upon a star
Your dreams come true
1. When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
When you wish upon a star
Your dreams come true
2. Act immediately and ruthlessly.
3. Give people fifteen minutes to evacuate the target.
4. Tell people how fortunate they are that you don't destroy the entire planet.
5. Stop for a few seconds of terrifying silence to let everyone realize how thoroughly pissed you are.
6. Offer emergency aid to the devastated areas.
7. Speak kindly of the dead.
8. Reaffirm your right and responsibility to modify behavior by any means at hand.
9. Realize that although you were not able to escalate this retaliation into a full scale conventional war, there will be other opportunities.
The young man was not at all surprised
to find himself heading toward the office of the
One Minute
President, marveling at the
simplicity of the One Minute
Method.
All three of the pretenses—Wishes, Gladhands, and Retaliations—made absolutely no sense, and as such they bore up well against all logic and any rational observation. "But why do they work?" he still wondered. "Why is the One Minute President considered the most efficient and nicest guy on the face of the Earth?"
All three of the pretenses—Wishes, Gladhands, and Retaliations—made absolutely no sense, and as such they bore up well against all logic and any rational observation. "But why do they work?" he still wondered. "Why is the One Minute President considered the most efficient and nicest guy on the face of the Earth?"
Posted: Sat - March 14, 1987 at 09:01 PM
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