Date: Fri, 2 Jan 1998
From: TomPrice <TomPrice@aol.com>
To: oldtools@listserv.law.cornell.edu
Subject: Re:  Addiction
 
William Taggart wrote:
 
>To:	oldtools@listserv.law.cornell.edu
>Yesterday SWMBO, exasperated with me (sick of hearing me talk about old
>tools and woodworking), rolled her eyes and said, "It's like you're
>addicted to these old tools! It's all you talk about! You're always on
>the internet, you have to stop at every antique store, you're always
>talking about those guys on the computer!"
>
>With a little smirk, I said, "Yeah, great, ain't it?"
>
>Was that the wrong response?
 
Ah..yes. Yes, it was the wrong response. Your SWMBO is exhibiting signs 
of increased SWMBO Exasperation Syndrome (SES). Unchecked SES can lead to 
open SWMBO Hostility Syndrome (SHS) which has been kown to result in a 
serious Hell On Earth (HOE) situation for the unwary Galoot. A serious 
HOE scenario would be one where the afflicted Galoot finds himself on the 
losing end of a 'relationship termination', shall we say, where the 
Galoot ends up living in the proverbial Van Down by the River with 
nothing for tools but a couple of paint spattered chisels, a Great Neck 
backsaw with a plastic handle, and a beat up WorkMate which is missing 
the little rubber leveling foot. Nothing to aspire to, certainly.
 
How to alleviate a bad case of SES? One method would be to employ what 
members of the so-called 'helping' professions call 'active listening'. 
For us Galoots this means doing our best to actually look at SWMBO while 
she is talking and trying like h*ll to hang onto the gist of the 
conversation in case there is a pop quiz later. Doing this while mentally 
trying to design a frame saw can be a challenge. Even worse is if you 
have your computer set to phone your ISP on an hourly basis and to beep 
when You Have Mail from the Porch. Probably should turn this feature off 
for the duration of the crisis. The other component of active listening 
is to periodically murmer affirmative noises which are designed to 
further draw out the person you are listening to and to allow them to 
dredge up all of their feelings, get them out in the open and so forth. 
Members of the 'helping' professions are trained in the use of this 
technique but this could lead a Galoot down avenues of personal discovery 
with SWMBO that may be dangerous to the accumulation of further rusty 
objects. One has to strike a balance. A fairly neutral 'mmmm-mmhhh' may 
suffice. 
 
Of course a rise in SES indicates that SWMBO is becoming concerned about 
being replaced in the Galoot's heart by a load of strange metal and/or 
wooden objects. That and the allied fear that the Galoot is going to ruin 
the Family Unit's finances by an unchecked appetite for rust. Make time 
for damage control here. Work on the honey-do list, lay off the computer 
a bit, go see a movie, maybe talk about her family with her. Show her 
that you have your tool habit under control. Even if you are dying 
inside. Military types refer to this as a 'strategic retreat'. I kind of 
think of it as chewing off one's foot to escape the trap and living for 
another day. Something like that. A little pain now can alleviate a 
greater agony later. That's what they tell me. 
 
Hey, my computer beeped again. I Have Mail. Cool! Maybe more stuff on 
framesaws! Oops, SWMBO heard the beep, too. Uh oh, she shot me That Look 
again. Gotta go. (So...um, how was work today? No, no, I _am_ 
interested...)
****************************
Tom Price (TomPrice@aol.com)
Will Work For Tools
 

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