Subject: Anger Management (Flea Market Angst)
To: OldTools
From: TomPrice@aol.com
Date: Sun, 5 Oct 2003
Esteemed Galoots,
Two Galoots are walking through a flea market at lunchtime this past
Friday. Flea market is somewhere in the mid-Atlantic region. First Galoot
is a listmom on a certain email list devoted to old tools. Second Galoot
has a web page devoted to the Galoot and old tools subculture.
Both Galoots see a table full of tools against a split rail fence. They
have to negotiate a front table to get to the one with tools on it. First
Galoot goes around the right end of the obstacle, Second Galoot goes
left. First Galoot finds himself standing in front of portion of table
with nothing but rusty junk. Second Galoot finds himself in front of end
of table with rusty junk plus three full length Buck Bros. in-cannel
patternmaker's gouges. Second Galoot snatches up all three without
hesitation in a 'see-the-tool be-the-tool grab-the-tool' Zen-like moment.
Second Galoot is startled by a loud groan uttered by the First Galoot.
First Galoot [paraphrasing somewhat here] says, "Dammit, it happened
again, I go for the rusty crap while you pick up the good stuff right
from under my nose!" [Some background here is that Second Galoot has
inadvertently accomplished this task several times in the 2003 flea
market season]
Second Galoot, still glancing sideways at First Galoot, lifts three
gouges in the air and signals the vendor. Vendor tells Second Galoot that
tab is $10 for all three gouges. First Galoot groans loudly in disgust.
Second Galoot presents $10 in, perhaps, a picosecond, accompanied by
brief flash of bosons, quarks, Cherenkov radiation or whatever emanates
from a $10 dollar bill when it achieves near-lightspeed in an atmosphere.
The two Galoots continue on into the outfield. Second Galoot exclaims
over total lack of rust, original handles, full length blades and overall
condition. This is not, however, gloating over the tools but rather an
objective appraisal of the condition of same since gloating in this
situation Would Be Very Wrong. Nevertheless, First Galoot is overcome
with Flea Market Angst and some measure of what appears to be well,
anger. First Galoot mutters imprecations, e.g. 'slimy b*st*rd' while
giving Second Galoot a low-intensity shove and a thwack to the shoulder.
Second Galoot is laughing helplessly by this time. Both Galoots recover
composure somewhat and continue on. Second Galoot reminds First Galoot
that Second Galoot has three somewhat sharp gouges in left pocket and
further horseplay could lead to an accident.
First Galoot finds a small spearpoint marking knife that somewhat
assuages his angst (although he does pantomime plunging marking knife
into chest of Second Galoot). The Galoots finish the flea market after
running into Ed Minch and get some lunch. A slice of cake seems to help
with First Galoot's blood sugar level. Galoots return to work.
The gouges?:
Heh, heh.
****************************
Tom Price (TomPrice@a...)
Will Work For Tools