Run 1071 - 13 October 2004
Run #1071 13th October 2004


Hares Old Holborn & Double Orgasm
Location Ossians Bar
Scribe Fuzzy Wuzzy


With the nights starting to get a wee bit darker we headed off to check around the NCP car park to do as it turned a wee loop just to give any late comers Clothes Horse for example a chance to catch up.

Fecknose thought he would be smart and disappear into a gloomier corner of the Car park to have a fly wee pish behind a shed only to then be surrounded by a bunch of girlies including our illustrious Grand Mattress Mary Poppins who followed him as he seemed to be displaying a determined air about him as though he knew where the trail went but really he was bursting for a leak. Since Feck Nose appears to have a weak bladder he was unable to stem the torrent and had to complete the task in hand so to speak with an audience of girlies giggling at the size of his manhood!

It is amazing what fun can be had in an NCP car park as myself and Postman Pat and Tooth Fairy found flower leading onto the flat roofs of the shops at Haymarket. We commented hey this has never been done before.... but we soon found out why it was a falsey. Now what happened next is due to stubborness and or instinct of a front runner.... we headed down Morrison Street towards Haymarket but due to the rush hour traffic we never heard On being called somewhere back up at the Western Approach Road, where I have no idea as myself, Begger Off and Tooth Fairy faffed about Haymarket for a bit and found a falsey which was nice. So not to embarrass the Hares we kept out of sight until P.E.R.C.Y showed up checking. The pack meanwhile were congregated around the Bus Stop outside Haymarket Station trying to have a blether but being drowned out the traffic noise. Always a great Hare trick that putting a Check at one of the busiest junctions in Edinburgh and then start the trail barely within eyesight of the check. Well you know what happened the FRBs (myself and Canadian Club called On but no beggar could hear us and we couldn't be arsed running all the way from Donaldson's School for the Deaf back to Haymarket. I can only assume one of the Hares pointed a hasher in a suitable direction and called On. 

The trail headed down to under the Roseburn cycle-path bridge to a check where after various bits of checking along the cycle path being the most obvious the FRBs and the pack (those that had so far had caught up with the FRBs) were starting to wonder where the heck the trail was. Canadian Club suggested that since it wasn't along the cycle path it must be along the Water of Leith. So not once but twice on the same run the check was right next to a busy road but this time the trail wasn't even in sight of the check with no possibility of calling the pack On. Old Holburn must have been at the wacky baccie when he laid this trail! As we couldn't see the pack and I ran back a bit to let anyone following know we had found the flour. Having dutifully called On to a few folks I headed off to try and catch up with Canadian Club which to be honest was never going to happen unless he slipped and fell on his arse a lot!

From this point on the trail became somewhat linear as even when there was a check and I think the first was at the Dean Village (sheesh ma' knees were getting sore!) the trail kept resolutely going down the Water of Leith until we got to Stockbridge. From Roseburn to just about the end of the run I never saw another soul except for seeing Canadian Club again in Stockbridge as we tried to find the trail. The trail it turned out went along a lane called Circus Lane (I think) then through Cumberland Street until it got to Dundas Street at which point it went up the hill until Northumberland Street past Kays Bar (oooh the temptation) then pretty much as the crow flies back to the pub. While I got a good run I'm so sure I had wanted one in the first place.

On the plus side when I got to the pub I ordered a pint to find the first of the night was free! Bloody excellent!!! 

The Down Downs were held upstairs on the mezzanine / balcony with our GM handing out beers to...Bureauprat for reaching 650 runs and to visitors Bungee Dumper (so named cos' he crapped himself before he did the jump) and Ceno Pantio from Indianapolis

The Flying Dutchman was on RA duty who due to his charisma and general stage presence or possibly TNT's hashers are becoming even more stupid had 18 stories (two of the stories were about me). Being a kind and generous chap he didn't use all the stories so he could pass em' onto next weeks RA. The Down Downs did go on for quite sometime what with the amount of stories but also because Coneseated was trying to give the RA a hard time in protest of being given a beer but she needn't have worried as he also pulled her adversary Exorcist up for a beer. To keep it in the family Beggar Off was given a beer for Scrooge like behaviour to Exorcist. Double Orgasm got a beer but I'm not sure what for. Sum fink to do with vitamins or was it that she had forgotten to bring money for beer? Fecknose for upsetting girlies by playing in puddles. Fuzzy Wuzzy (me) for cycling to work with a solo bike instead of a tandem well really for not noticing the difference. Gin Bin for selling to the RA the EH3 Xmas bash on the basis that the pub had over 80 different beers which was a complete lie! Old Holburn for volunteering to keep Double Orgasm's knickers for safe keeping in his rucksack. Oily Midge sumfink to do wiv a bag of chips. I have feeling there were some other Down Downs but hey you know who you are!


The pub then completed an excellent evening by laying on lots of grub as well as having some good beer on. JFP and Hot Tits did manage to persuade me and Cuprice into Thomsons across the road on the way home though for two more night caps before going home!!!

On On
Fuzzy

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Posted: Wed - December 8, 2004 at 05:35 PM          

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