13 October 2004 Ossian's Bar - Run write up
we headed down Morrison Street towards Haymarket
but due to the rush hour traffic we never heard On being called somewhere back
up at the Western Approach Road, where I have no idea as myself, Bugger Off and
Tooth Fairy faffed about Haymarket for a bit and found a falsey which was
nice.
...The trail it turned out went
along a lane called Circus Lane (I think) then through Cumberland Street until
it got to Dundas Street at which point it went up the hill until Northumberland
Street past Kays Bar (oooh the temptation) then pretty much as the crow flies
back to the pub.
...The pub then
completed an excellent evening by laying on lots of grub as well as having some
good beer on. JFP and Hot Tits did manage to persuade me and Cuprice into
Thomsons across the road on the way home though for two more night caps before
going home!!!
...Well, I hope this has
cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets and
remember, "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - strawberries in the other - body thoroughly
used up, totally worn out, and screaming - WOO HOO!
13 October 2004 Ossian's
Bar
Hares
Old
Holburn and
Double
Orgasm
Scribe
Fuzzy
Wuzzy
With
the nights starting to get a wee bit darker we headed off to check around the
NCP car park to do as it turned a wee loop just to give any late comers
Clothes
Horse for example a chance to catch up.
Fuck
Nose thought he would be smart and disappear
into a gloomier corner of the Car park to have a fly wee pish behind a shed only
to then be surrounded by a bunch of girlies including our illustrious Grand
Mattress Mary
Poppins who followed him as he seemed to be
displaying a determined air about him as though he knew where the trail went but
really he was bursting for a leak. Since
Fuck
Nose appears to have a weak bladder he was
unable to stem the torrent and had to complete the task in hand so to speak with
an audience of girlies giggling at the size of his
manhood!
It is amazing what fun can be
had in an NCP car park as myself and
Postman
Pat and
Tooth Fairy
found flower leading onto the flat roofs of
the shops at Haymarket. We commented hey this has never been done before.... but
we soon found out why it was a falsey. Now what happened next is due to
stubborness and or instinct of a front runner.... we headed down Morrison Street
towards Haymarket but due to the rush hour traffic we never heard On being
called somewhere back up at the Western Approach Road, where I have no idea as
myself, Bugger
Off and
Tooth Fairy
faffed about Haymarket for a bit and found a
falsey which was nice. So not to embarrass the Hares we kept out of sight until
P.E.R.C.Y
showed up checking. The pack meanwhile were congregated around the Bus Stop
outside Haymarket Station trying to have a blether but being drowned out the
traffic noise. Always a great Hare trick that putting a Check at one of the
busiest junctions in Edinburgh and then start the trail barely within eyesight
of the check. Well you know what happened the FRBs (myself and
Canadian
Club called On but no bugger could hear us and
we couldn't be arsed running all the way from Donaldson's School for the Deaf
back to Haymarket. I can only assume one of the Hares pointed a hasher in a
suitable direction and called On.
The
trail headed down to under the Roseburn cycle-path bridge to a check where after
various bits of checking along the cycle path being the most obvious the FRBs
and the pack (those that had so far had caught up with the FRBs) were starting
to wonder where the heck the trail was. Canadian Club suggested that since it
wasn't along the cycle path it must be along the Water of Leith. So not once but
twice on the same run the check was right next to a busy road but this time the
trail wasn't even in sight of the check with no possibility of calling the pack
On. Old
Holburn must have been at the wacky baccie
when he laid this trail! As we couldn't see the pack and I ran back a bit to let
anyone following know we had found the flour. Having dutifully called On to a
few folks I headed off to try and catch up with
Canadian
Club which to be honest was never going to
happen unless he slipped and fell on his arse a
lot!
From this point on the trail
became somewhat linear as even when there was a check and I think the first was
at the Dean Village (sheesh ma' knees were getting sore!) the trail kept
resolutely going down the Water of Leith until we got to Stockbridge. From
Roseburn to just about the end of the run I never saw another soul except for
seeing Canadian Club again in Stockbridge as we tried to find the trail. The
trail it turned out went along a lane called Circus Lane (I think) then through
Cumberland Street until it got to Dundas Street at which point it went up the
hill until Northumberland Street past Kays Bar (oooh the temptation) then pretty
much as the crow flies back to the pub. While I got a good run I'm so sure I had
wanted one in the first place.
On the
plus side when I got to the pub I ordered a pint to find the first of the night
was free! Bloody excellent!!!
The Down
Downs were held upstairs on the mezzanine / balcony with our GM handing out
beers
to...Bureauprat
for reaching 650 runs and to visitors
Bungee
Dumper (so named cos' he crapped himself
before he did the jump) and Ceno
Pantio from
Indianapolis
The
Flying
Dutchman was on RA duty who due to his
charisma and general stage presence or possibly TNT's hashers are becoming even
more stupid had 18 stories (two of the stories were about me). Being a kind and
generous chap he didn't use all the stories so he could pass em' onto next weeks
RA. The Down Downs did go on for quite sometime what with the amount of stories
but also because
Coneseated
was trying to give the RA a hard time in protest of being given a beer but she
needn't have worried as he also pulled her adversary
Exorcist
up for a beer. To keep it in the family Bugger Off was given a beer for Scrooge
like behaviour to
Exorcist.
Double
Orgasm got a beer but I'm not sure what for.
Sum fink to do with vitamins or was it that she had forgotten to bring money for
beer?
Fucknose
for upsetting girlies by playing in puddles.
Fuzzy
Wuzzy (me) for cycling to work with a solo
bike instead of a tandem well really for not noticing the difference.
Gin Bin
for selling to the RA the EH3 xmas bash on the basis that the pub had over 80
different beers which was a complete lie!
Old
Holburn for volunteering to keep
Double
Orgasm's knickers for safe keeping in his
rucksack. Oily Minge
sumfink to do wiv a bag of chips. I have
feeling there were some other Down Downs but hey you know who you
are!
The pub then completed an
excellent evening by laying on lots of grub as well as having some good beer on.
JFP and
Hot Tits
did manage to persuade me and
Cuprice
into Thomsons across the road on the way home though for two more night caps
before going home!!!
Some
Hashing
advice....
Q: I've heard that
cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many
beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out
eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that 's like
saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live
longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut
down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies.
What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is
nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your
system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass
(green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended
daily allowance of vegetable
products.
Q: Should I reduce my
alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is
made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of
the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made
out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How
can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well,
if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have
two bodies, your ratio is two to one,
etc.
Q: What are some of the
advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My
philosophy is: No Pain...
Good.
Q:
Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE
NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're
permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for
you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent
me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a
muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger
stomach.
Q:
Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?
HELLO ...... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food
around!
Q: Is swimming good for
your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your
figure, explain whales to
me.
Q:
Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a
shape!
Well, I hope this has
cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets and
remember, "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - strawberries in the other - body thoroughly
used up, totally worn out, and screaming - WOO HOO! What a Ride!"
Posted: Mon - October 11, 2004 at 12:36 PM