This one time at band camp....
... and other thoughts I had while watching game 4
of the 2004 World Series
* I saw a Cardinals fan in the stands with a
trombone. That's right, a trombone. Who the HELL brings a trombone to a baseball
game? Much less a World Series game? That makes sense. Um, upon further review,
no it doesn't. I'm not allowed to bring a bottled water into Raymond James
stadium but some fugly Cards fan gets to bring her trombone to a World Series
game.
* Those John Hancock commercials
with the kids? Annoying as hell. I think I'd rather be locked in a room with a
TV on continuous loop showing Mrs. Fletcher yelling that she CAN'T GET UP! than
watch one more kid with unreal ideas about the grown up
world.
* And in case you are wondering,
when I was that age I thought I would make a rock-star living out of writing
kick ass games in BASIC for the Apple II. Nope, not bitter at
all.
* I was really digging the promos
for My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss, until they previewed the episode where he reveals
the gag. Huh? You really want to ruin the ending before the show even debuts?
Something bad must have happened in
post-production.
* My favorite World
Series of Wigs gal, Jeannie Zelasko, was not at her best in the post game
segment. I was worried about the seaworthiness of her wig as the champagne
splashed about the place. But something even worse happened; she had this bulge
resembling W's back at the debates, only the bulge was in her ass! She looked
like Ralph Macchio in Karate Kid 3! It was all I could to to keep from rolling
on the floor in hideous laughter!
*
Most contrived graphic - the one that proclaimed "Terry Francona is the first
Red Sox manager to win the World Series since
1918."
* Good for the Sox and their
fans (I guess) but we don't need the repeated closeups of Jimmy Fallon "Freedom
Kissing" his chick. They're not going to put that picture on the cover of Life,
believe me.
* Where was Bennifer II by
the way? I guess Ben AFLAC doesn't have any clout in Missouri. And if you'll
allow me to digress, they should have printed on the license plates of Missouri:
"Where Ashcroft Lost To A Dead Guy."
*
You don't suppose they let them spray bottles of Dom in the
postgame?
* It would be highly ironic
if it was the stuff they ripped from the Shea Stadium locker room after game
6.
* Finally, folks of DOG Nation,
you're going to hear a lot about this so-called "curse" ending. I'm telling
everyone I can, the curse was pure bullshit. You want to know the primary reason
the Red Sox didn't win a World Series since 1918? Race. The Sox were the last
team to integrate, and for decades after that it was a token black player. They
missed out on chances to sign Jackie Robinson and Willie Mays. From 1976 to
1992, the Sox signed a grand total of ZERO black free agents. That's a lot of
Reggie Jacksons and Eddie Murrays to be letting go to other
teams.
* I think having the right to
beat the shit out of any whiny, self loathing Chowd after tonight is great. You
got no more complaints, you hear me? Now go get your shine box.
Posted: Thu - October 28, 2004 at 12:49 AM