more kipple 



we look for trascendence (and the spell checker baulks at the word, declares it non-existent but it is exactly the word i want), for reassurances (and then we invent God, paradise), for explanations (and then the world sitting on the giant turtle or the big bang) and yet we are trapped in our circumstance, we have to go to the toilet and find ourselves with the fly open or uttering incoherences trying to explain away one or other failing or mistake and in doing so getting deeper and deeper in it

and we produce rubbish and we carry our little animal needs and wants and warts as the same time as dreaming ourselves as angels, as beings of reason and light while bunking off school or trying to increase our worldly allocation of money or happiness or soul redemption even, somehow unbeknownst to us, even at the expense of somebody else's...

and we plod on, pencils breaking in our hands, bills slipping unpaid to feed the Final Demand monster, socks inexplicably becoming single or developing toe-holes, fluff accumulating in every corner defiantly awaiting the coming of the vacuum cleaner, he enormous complexity of the world surrounding us and in ourselves quickly dispatched with a few ready made phrases, the facile interpretation of the world supplied by the government, the church, the advertising agencies, the neighbours

but i suppose all this effort to suppress the wonder (as well as the horror) of life is necessary to a certain extent in order to survive the necessary drab bits of life in an imperfect world where we must toil to pay bills and queue in traffic jams and post offices and be told by bureaucrats behind bullet proof windows that our documentation is insufficient and we accrue a fine, without prejudice to other recovery actions by the relevant authorities....

at the coffee break at the Grammar School a teacher tells me of his three-year old boy going through the 'Why?' phase and we reflect on it, how it is a good thing for him as well as for the child and what a pity it is that this attitude, this wonder and inquisitiveness and not taking for granted the world that surrounds us, gets hammered out of us by life and the daily rut... 

Posted: Mon - September 29, 2003 at 07:51 PM          

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