This Is Sparta!!! (?)
August 08, 2007 01:16 PM
I know that I am several months late on this film portrayal of the battle of Thermopylae, but I have kids. So, I never got a chance to see this film in the theaters, and I had to wait to see it on DVD. However, since I consider myself an amateur / expert on ancient Greek history, I used the DVD release of this film to upgrade my system to HD DVD. I was able to watch this bloody film in all of its blood splattering glory in equally glorious 1080p on a full HD 1080p panel -- delicious.
When this film was first released, there was rampant speculation that there were political overtones. Right wing pundits saw it as an allegory for the West’s confrontation with resurgent Islam. Left wing pundits either disparaged the film as “war porn” or even suggested that it was an analogy alright, but George W. Bush was Xerxes maddeningly trying to finish the war that his father George Sr. / Darius failed to finish. Comic book nerds were rejecting both interpretations and pointing to the fact that the “graphic novel” was published before 9/11. The comic book nerds may have their chronology right, but their analysis is wrong. The comic book may have pre-dated 9/11, but Warner Brother’s decision to green light this movie was not. The studio executives were very aware that this movie would be red meat for audiences while we were involved in one war in the region and another was brewing with Persia itself. The liberals are right -- this movie is glorious war porn, but they are totally wrong with their analogy. The proof can be seen when Xerxes’ messenger rides into Sparta and demands earth and water. All Xerxes asks for is a sign of submission. Leonidas walks into extreme close-up scowls and in a Scottish ramble worthy of Sean Connery says, “Submission. Now, you see, that's gonna be a problem.” Then he kicks the messenger down a well and tells him to help himself to the water and earth down there. The true meaning of the film can be found in that one line. Islam, contrary to the PC crowd’s delusion is not interpreted as “Peace.” Islam literally translates to mean “Submission” as in submission to the will of Allah. There can be no doubt that this film was meant to be an analogy of the free West’s resistance to the East, which was then dominated by pagan Persia but is currently dominated by Islam. All that Islam requires from everyone on the planet is submission -- either in the form of conversion to Islam or recognition of Islam’s supremacy by accepting the inferior position of a dhimmi. The West is truly facing the same dilemma presented to Leonidas -- submit or fight.
The battle was a heroic resistance and act of self-sacrifice to preserve Greece’s freedom. It was just one of many examples of the martial superiority of the free Westerner against the slavish Easterner. But we should not forget that these Spartans were not exactly modern models of behavior. The Spartans practically invented big government where the state controlled every aspect of your life from the time a boy turned eight. Lesbianism was rampant among the women and one can only imagine what took place (other than extreme violence) in the boy’s and men’s barracks. Not only was abortion legal it was state administered up until the ninth trimester -- that’s right they killed babies. Not unlike our founding fathers, the Spartans were racist slaveholders. They had conquered Messenia and turned the Mycenaean population into slaves. There were slaves across the Greek world, but in Sparta, slavery was a race issue where the Dorians oppressed the indigenous population. They even had a secret police, the Krypteia, that literally went around murdering the best of the Messenians so that a Messenian Spartacus would never arise to lead a revolt of helots. They forgot to mention the plight of the helots in 300.
I would have much preferred a historically accurate portrayal of this great battle -- the tight formations, the heavy armor and interlocking shields, the pushing. There were knowledgeable references to all that (except the armor -- more on that later), but the action was portrayed in a Matrix-like style preferred by the younger theater-going audience. I would have preferred more life like action, but I am an old fart, and I understand both artistically and financially why they made the choices they made.
Concerning the armor, as we all know, the Spartans at Thermopylae were hoplites that fought in phalanx. This means that they wore heavy breastplates, grieves and shin guards. Nevertheless, the producers decided to make their Spartans look like underwear models. I guess this was an attempt to get the girls to see the movie as well, because what teenage girl doesn’t like to see men jumping around in loincloths with bulging muscles and six pack abs. My homophobic side thought it made the whole movie look kinda gay, but the portrayal was not totally without precedent. The early Greeks in the heroic age (long before Thermopylae) used to fight nude. You can see plenty of similar portrayals of nude Greek warriors fighting with spears on tomb paintings, sculptures and shards of ancient pottery. Then again, maybe being a sculptor or potter back then was the same as being a hairdresser or interior designer today -- professions populated by homosexuals. That would explain a lot, but that is another discussion. In any event, if you are predisposed to forgive this movie for its faults, you can forgive the nearly nude warriors by saying the filmmakers were portraying the Greek warriors in the heroic style (i.e., like gay underwear models)
I was turned off the Ephors, but I was impressed that they were included at all. Of course, the Ephors were not magical lepers, but they were a corrupt clique of old men running things. So, it was not a far stretch in this movie to illustrate their internal corruption with external disfigurement.
Where was the other king? Sparta had two. I guess that would confuse things.
All in all, it was a fun film to watch. I give it one and a half thumbs up.
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