Cornography Election Special Report

WASHINGTON, D.C. (CORN NEWS) - Outgoing Vice-President Albert Gore conceded tonight (Wednesday, December 13) and now George W. Bush will officially be the nation's 43rd President. Sources close to Bush say that he "yippie yahooed" Texas-style for nearly five minutes.

"He was truly happy, and he knew it -- he clapped his hands," said Karen Hughes, spokeswoman for the Bush/Cheney campaign.

Gore, on the other hand was remorseful and downtrodden.

"He spent his whole life preparing for this. He might as well commit suicide," said William Daley, Gore/Liebermann campaign spokesman. "I better get my paycheck," he continued. "I told him that he should have conceded earlier so we'd be sure to get paid."

Sources close to Gore say that he has been placed in a padded room and is presently in a straitjacket to help prevent his premature death

The Bush team has not decided if they will appeal this decision to take measures to Prevent Gore's suicide.

Bush Victory The courts they finally gave it to Bush Florida gave him the final push Sure good Gore had a bitch There must have been a glitch But Bush is in the white house And Gore is in a ditch In the new year Bush will hit the D.C. soil A regular American style royal Gore will see it on TV Just the same as you and me We hope that Bush will finally lance that boil


Cornography Election Special Report GORE CONCEDES: BUSH DECLARED PREZ WASHINGTON, D.C. (CORN NEWS) - Outgoing Vice-President Albert Gore conceded tonight (Wednesday, December 13) and now George W. Bush will officially be the nation's 43rd President. Sources close to Bush say that he "yippie yahooed" Texas-style for nearly five minutes. "He was truly happy, and he knew it -- he clapped his hands," said Karen Hughes, spokeswoman for the Bush/Cheney campaign. Gore, on the other hand was remorseful and downtrodden. "He spent his whole life preparing for this. He might as well commit suicide," said William Daley, Gore/Liebermann campaign spokesman. "I better get my paycheck," he continued. "I told him that he should have conceded earlier so we'd be sure to get paid." Sources close to Gore say that he has been placed in a padded room and is presently in a straitjacket to help prevent his premature death The Bush team has not decided if they will appeal this decision to take measures to Prevent Gore's suicide.
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	JESSE INCITES RIOT CHICAGO (CORN NEWS) - The Reverend Jesse Jackson was not to be kept silent and called for a press conference immediately following the concession statement. "The people have not spoken! This is a conspiracy of the white people. My brothers and sisters, we are going to war!" Said an angry Jackson. Jackson has called for a rearming of the Black Panthers in an attempt for a coup de etat to place Gore as President. Not long after his plea, the crowd began to riot in his hometown of Chicago. Cars were upturned, fires started and many of the stores in the downtown area near the area of the speech were looted
			Jackson surveys the damage in a Chicago slum that his speech had alegedly caused
		The National Guard was quickly brought in to bring an end to the violence. It is reported that over $5 million in damages was done to public and private property during the "hooplah." Jackson may be charged with inciting a riot, but as of press time, no charges have been filed.