Department of Justice: Thank God They Were Middle Eastern

Sources within the U.S. Department of Justice Saturday admitted feeling initial relief in the hours following Sept. 11 attacks when they learned the terrorists were of Middle Eastern descent.

"If they were white people, we wouldn't know where to start," one agent said on the condition of anonymity. "It's easy to make life hell on the members of one small ethnic minority. If they were white people, we'd really be stuck"

Nationwide reports show Muslims and other Arab Americans being questioned and detained based on their skin color and names.

One agent denied the practice was racial profiling, "because, obviously, all these people must know each other somehow down the line -- they're all named Mohammed for god sakes."

High ranking officials said the background of the terrorists gave an important start to the investigative process. "If the terrorists were white, we'd have to worry about civil liberties and the constitution," one FBI source said. "What a royal rat screw that would be."