EDITORS' CORNER

The business dinner can be a stressful time. Employers use these meals as a gauntlet to separate the suave from the sloppy. Unfortunately, I often fall into the latter category. There's no need for you to follow that same undesirable path. Learn from my mistakes and impress the boss with your ability to eat like a civilized man or woman.

The business meal generally begins with a cup of soup. There are conflicting patterns of thought dealing with the eating of soup in a dignified way. The etiquette masters will tell you to leave a little bit of soup at the bottom of the bowl once the spoon is no longer useful. Mother, however, correctly teaches that we must remember those starving in third world nations and eat everything put in front of us. Pick up the cup and drink the final bite of your soup.

The second course of the business meal is generally the salad. This is when your silverware comes into play. If you go into a restaurant and notice two forks, realize that one is to be used for your salad while the other is to be saved for your main course. I made the mistake to believe that two forks were left to increase the speed of my food intake. With a fork in each hand, I was able scoop up a tremendous amount of salad at one time. That's until my employer grabbed one of the forks and shoved it into my arm.

After salad, it's customary that the host will order a bottle of fine wine. The waiter will bring the bottle to the guest. The cork will be removed and placed in front of the guest. It's meant to be smelled. If it smells like a cork, it's supposed to be a good wine. The waiter will then poor one sip in the glass so a guest can give approval or denial. Avoid responses such as "This sure ain't Boone's Farm," "Ah, Reunite," or "That Julio Gallo outdoes himself every time."

The main course follows shortly after the pouring of the wine. A good American boy or girl will notice that there's not much on the plate. Fancy restaurants worry more about making the meal pretty than they do about making good food. You will find a small piece of meat surrounded by lettuce, parsley and a whole bunch of vegetable-like things. Slowly eat the small piece of meat while stopping to make charming comments such as, "What a wonderful tie, where did you buy that tie?" or "This restaurant has such a lovely ambviance." When the meal is completed, kindly excuse yourself and go to Arbys.

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK

It's true: Size doesn't matter -- unless, you are quite small.

VOCAB BUILDER

culinary

adj, connected with cooking or kitchens

POETRY