ERIK MOE's
television disabling service

"Nothing is as liberating as a hammer through your television screen"
-J.M., Dubuque, IA

"Has freedom ever come so cheaply?"
-R.S., New York, NY

LOW LOW RATES!
Book your private appointment now!
Many dates still available in 2004!
Philadelphia $10! New York $150!
Scroll down for more rates and FAQ.

NEED A LOWER RATE?
Let us know where you live. We will email you when a "critical mass" of requests
from your area will allow us to provide appointments at bulk rates.

Popular Cities and Rates for Private Appointments:
Atlanta $400
Austin $400
Boston $200
Chicago $350
Dallas $350
Denver $400
Houston $400
Los Angeles $500
Miami $250
Minneapolis-St. Paul $250
Montreal $350
Nashville $300
New York City $150
Orlando $250
Philadelphia $10!**
Pittsburgh $200
Portland, OR $400
San Francisco $400
Seattle $400
Toronto $350
Triangle, NC $300

By State / Province:
Alabama*
Alaska*
Alberta*
Arizona $400
Arkansas*
British Colombia*
California $500
Colorado $400
Connecticut $250
Delaware $150
Florida $300
Georgia $400
Hawaii*
Idaho*
Illinois $350
Indiana $350
Iowa $350
Kansas*
Kentucky*
Louisiana $350
Maine $350
Manitoba*
Maryland $250
Massachusetts $250
Michigan $350
Minnesota $300
Mississippi*
Missouri $350
Montana*
Nebraska*
Nevada*
New Brunswick*
Newfoundland*
New Hampshire $300
New Jersey $200
New Mexico*
New York $300
North Carolina $350
North Dakota*
Northwest Territories*
Nova Scotia*
Nunavut*
Ohio $300
Oklahoma*
Ontario*
Oregon $500
Pennsylvania $200
Prince Edward Island*
Quebec*
Rhode Island $250
Saskatchewan*
South Carolina*
South Dakota*
Tennessee*
Texas*
Utah*
Vermont $300
Virginia $350
Washington $500
Washington DC $200
West Virginia*
Wisconsin $350
Wyoming*
Yukon Territories*

Outside of the United States and Canada:

Africa*
Americas*
Antarctica*
Asia*
Australia*
Europe*
Oceana*

*request a price quote.
**no bulk rate in Philadelphia.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:

What is Erik Moe's Television Disabling Service?
For a small fee, Erik Moe will come to the location of your television and disable it by smashing a hammer into its screen.

Is Erik Moe's Television Disabling Service right for me?
Yes! If you own a television it is important that you have it disabled as soon as possible.

Why should I pay you to disable my television when I could do it myself for free?
It is extremely difficult to disable your own television properly. Many television owners attempt to disable their televisions by placing them in a closet, basement, attic, or other such out-of-the-way location. Other owners are under the impression that a television is properly disabled when it is unplugged or when the remote control is out of reach. Each of these measures are dangerously ineffective. Owners frequently find that their disabled televisions become re-enabled when the local base-ball or basket-ball club faces a particularly significant challenge, or when an especially charming movie star is to be interviewed on The David Letterman Hour. To truly disable your television, the screen must be violently broken. Few owners are willing to take on this task. Especially owners who have spent as much as four or five thousand dollars acquiring television(s) from dealers.

How does your service differ from other services?
There are many people who are willing to "take your television off your hands." These services are generally provided by people who think you are stupid. Instead of disabling your television, they will sell your television on craigslist.org or a local pawn shop. Some of these people will actually retain your television for their own use – especially if it is "better" than the one they already own. There are even non-profit organizations that claim to give you a tax write-off in exchange for your television. These organizations do not disable your television either. Incredulously, some will actually sell the television to impoverished people who are most threatened by TV-related problems. Some of these "charitable" groups actually operate shocking "TV dens" in which the poor, the homeless, and the destitute "zone out" for hours in a hazy flickering-blue fog.

Do you offer bulk Rates?
Yes! Transportation is our primary cost. Pool together funds from others in your city to bring us to your city and save big! Or, let us know where you live, and we will email you when there is a critical mass of interested persons your area.

How much experience do you have in television disabling?
In this industry, experience is less important than dedication.