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Ewen MacIntosh plays Big Keith in The Office. I guess I could write a teasing introduction to the interview here, but it won’t compare to what the man has to say himself:

A minor point
First things first, is your name spelt Ewen or Ewan?
Ewen MacIntosh

And do you get annoyed that they got it wrong on the credits of the show?
It was unfortunate but thems the breaks!

How did you get your part in the show?
The casting director from the first series saw our live show in Edinburgh at the Fringe. I wasn’t in the pilot and didn’t know anything about the show, in fact I have never seen it. Ash, the producer chose Jamie and me from our mugshots and the first time I met Ricky was on the first day of shooting.

Jamie Deeks also appears in NavelGazing, did you get him the job, or did he get you it?
See above. We both fluked it!

On the DVD, Ricky and Steve wonder whether you knew quite how funny Keith was, or whether you were genuinely doing your best naturalistic acting, even though they’ve probably asked you. But if you could enlighten the rest of us...
I don’t know the answer to this. I hope if you asked them now they would say that it was intentional as I kept it going for the second series!

In the first series, were there any extra lines or scenes that Keith was given purely going on how well you were performing?
Definitely, as on the first day of shooting I didn’t even have a name, I was just supporting cast. They then gave me more of the general cast lines to say and wrote me the bit in the training day episode where I mention the whole music thing, and also gave me the chance to be the DJ in the last episode. The first scotch egg scene was not written for me, it was just for any office worker, and I have to say that when I first saw that script I was desperate to get that bit!

Also on the DVD, Martin Freeman calls you a freak. And an oddity. How would you complete the sentence “The actor Martin Freeman is...”
“a cartoon man with Fisher Price hair?”

For the scotch egg scenes, in both series, did any bits come out of you improvising, or do Ricky and Steve demand exact recreation of what they’ve written?
We kind of worked it out while we were shooting it, although in terms of script it was done as they had written it. I just couldn’t deal with Martin’s line about staying in and having a big wank and ended up losing it every time he said it, which set Martin off a bit too.

The scotch egg scene in the first series took thirteen takes. I have a feeling it’s sister scene in series 2 also took quite a few takes. However, were you provided with a fresh scotch egg each time, or did the producers just say “ah, you can’t tell if he’s already taken a bite out of it”?
No, they were very professional and provided a fresh scotch egg each time. This is the BBC you know!

Do you like scotch eggs?
Not really and I was even going to put one on the ri:se bonfire but the show over-ran and they didn’t have time.

How often would you say you eat scotch eggs?
Roughly never on the whole.

Do you often eat eggs prepared by other means?
Boiled, scrambled, fried, poached, just not scotched.

Any last egg comments?
Not eggs-actly.

You and Stacey are both Liverpool fans, do any others of the cast have strong allegiances and do many arguments break out? Has this ever led to violence?
Phil (who plays Phil) and Ralph (Finchy) are Leeds fans, but as we both hate ManU there wasn’t too much trouble. Jamie is Chelsea, and I don’t really know about anyone else. When we were filming, the World Cup was on so we were all busy getting behind the ManU players anyway as they battled away for Blighty.

Is there often talk of the 11 O’Clock show on set, with both Ricky and MacKenzie career’s having survived? Did things get worse when you were on set dressed as Ali G as well?
It was hardly mentioned, really, although as Martin played Ali G’s best mate in the feature film, I did ask him for some insights and tips on getting into character as a ‘Staines massive’.

Many of the cutaways of the staff working on their computers are allegedly off the cast playing solitaire. Any particular advice you could give us novices? Do you have a preferred solitaire version?
The one where you get three cards at a time and there is no silly scoring is, for me, the only way to play solitaire.

Is there a big classic solitaire/freecell rivalry between the cast members? Has this ever led to violence?
I’m desperately trying to recall some violence from the shoot as you are obviously keen to find some out! I can only recall a game of catch with an apple in the green room that got pretty aggressive, with Patrick (Neil) letting his competitive spirit get the better of him as usual!

What's been your favourite scene from The Office?
I remember in the first series they seemed to make a lot more of the Spock question from the previous year’s quiz, where Brent got a taxi home to get his TV times Sci-fi Guide to prove the heritage of Mr. Spock. I found the whole thread really funny, and the way the episode originally ended (I think) was Brent, in a talking head shot, reading from the TV Times guide, something like: “...And standing alongside Kirk and McCoy is the fearless Mr. Spock, a half human, half vulcan, notable for his pointed ears...” Or something like that. I thought it was a great way to tie up that bit and I’m not sure why it didn’t happen or if it’s on the DVD. [I’ve checked and sadly it’s not]

And your favourite scene involving Keith?
The appraisal scene, which became a bit of a personal battle during filming as Ricky went to extreme measures to crack me up while we were filming it. And succeeded. Obviously.

Could you see yourself having a career change and becoming an accountant in the near future?
I was OK at maths right up to A/S level and then it all went a bit wonky so probably not.

Was appearing on Channel 4’s RI:SE (Ewen’s only TV interview to date) a personal highlight of your life?
I got to touch Kirsty Gallagher [pictured right!] so you decide.

Kirsty Gallagher eh? Nice one! I also noticed on Rise you had your arm round Stacey Roca (Rachel on the show). Of the male cast members, do you get most of the action from the ladies?
None of the male cast members get any action from any of the lady cast members. Sorry there is no on set gossip! Stacey is brilliant and I was very glad when I heard she was coming on Rise as I thought I may have to go on on my own and it was both of our first TV interviews so I guess I was just clinging on to her for support, although she is very huggable!

Do you think a Keith spin-off series would work, similar to Porkpie which stemmed from Channel 4 Desmonds?
The talk of a spin-off has started to get a bit silly. The chances of it happening are about as much as Alex Ferguson admitting his team were outplayed, even when they’ve been taken apart 3-0

Would you like to see a Christmas special of The Office, possibly set just before the first series in a sort of Phantom Menace-prequel way, with all the original characters back working, and the Swindon lot in their place?
Sounds good. It would certainly be nice to get Malcolm back.

Where can we find out info about how to see you live? PLUG ALERT PLUG ALERT
Go to www.navelgazing.co.uk which will have details of anything we are up to.

One last question that has spurned much debate between the male fans of The Office: Dawn or Rachel?
There is, of course only one answer to this: Both. I'm just watching.