Your 100 Best Scenes

Which scenes display the essence of Stella Street’s humour? The scenes below are pinnacles of comic achievement at the end of the twentieth century, showing Stella Street at its most inspired and brilliant. Look, there’s even one from series 3, for God’s sake!

• Roger Moore and David Bowie exchanging Christmas presents. Series 1, episode 10. (Incidentally, this was, I believe, the first Stella Street sketch to be filmed.)
• Mrs Huggett hoovering up Jack Nicholson’s nose candy. “When I’m on the phone, you turn that fucking thing off.” Series 1, episodes 1 and 3. Submitted by Thomas Oswald.
• Al Pacino talking to Len about such issues as the geography of Britain and milk-coffee ratios. Series 1, episode 4.
• Mick Jagger’s dream about the Beatles taking over Mick & Keith’s. Series 2, episode 1.
• Roger Moore and Joe Pesci discussing colour schemes for Pesci’s house in anticipation of the arrival of his Mother and stepfather. (See quotes page.) Series 1, episode 3.
• Al Pacino’s attempt to leave for Christmas being foiled by Jimmy Hill seeking a cake nozzle. Series 1, episode 9.
• Joe Pesci, Vince Chuff and a teapot, need I say more. Series 2, episode 4.
• Mrs Huggett volunteering to be the decoy when the residents of Stella Street defend themselves against the oncoming diggers. Who can forget Jimmy Hill’s death scene? Series 2, episode 10. Submitted by John Alan Pakey.
• Steve’s choice: Michael Caine’s Zulu anniversary party, with Roger Moore’s triumphant monopoly game. Series 1, episode 6.
• A lobotomised Joe Pesci and a drunk Jimmy Hill trying to cook a turkey in the oven, the way Delia Smith likes it. Series 1, episode 10.
• Steptoe & Son on the TV while Mrs Huggett tries to pull Jack Nicholson out of his icy blast of loneliness. Series 2, episode 9.
• Al Pacino returning home from Kwik-Save after listening to Walk in the Black Forest 20 fucking times. Series 1, episode 6.
• Joe and Billy Easy are in the kitchen. Billy complains about Joe’s lack of an orange squeezer. “It’s fuckin’ orange juice time.” Series 1, episode 7. Submitted by Jamie Roberts.
• The David Bowie “Laughing Man” Tour. Series 2, episode 5ish (original versions).
• The digger moving in with Alan Rickman. Series 2, episode 10, finale. Submitted by Jenny Owen.
• Jimmy Hill as a magnetic oil Texan and Joe Pesci as the Duke of DeVonshire in the filming of Get Chisolm. Series 2, episode 7.
• When Michael Caine buys Mick ’n’ Keef’s Corner shop and renames it “Some like it Yacht”. Series 2. Submitted by Andrew Mitchell and Andy Knight.
• Mick Jagger playing the part of Ulrich Schnittersplitz in “Get Chisholm”, where he has to “determinate” a very annoying Jack Flatley who is overplaying the part of an Italian Restauranteur. Series 2. Submitted by Ged McNeill.
• Jimmy Hill’s house being raided by the police, with the explanation of the dream (see quotes page). “Oh come on, arrest me, please!” Series 1. Submitted by Nick Cresswell and Matt Boas.
• Michael Caine’s pool party, including the Stones’ Cash and Carry. Series 2, episode 2. Submitted by Mark Holmes.
• Joe Pesci, unable to decide on an appropriate colour scheme with Roger Moore’s help (“Some-like-it-up-the-fucking-ass-Tony-fucking-Curtis”), has to find an alternative venue:
  MJ: Michael Caine’s away
  JP: How the fuck am I going to get into Michael Caine's house?
  MJ: Here, I've got the key.
  [MJ hands JP the key]
  JP: Fuck you.
  I think this scene is pure genius especially when Joe leaves and steals several loaves of bread from outside the shop! Series 1. Submitted by Andy Smith.
• Patrick Moore showing Alan Rickman and Jimmy Hill how, on Tuesdays and Thursdays, he takes a bath. Series 3, episode 3. Submitted by Robin, who says that after accidentally seeing that one episode, he went out and bought the videos for series one and two. He doesn’t say, however, that he bought them through the site :(