I don't know about you, but I'm proud to be a Californian this week


If it's only a matter of time, then there's no reason to hold ourselves back to wait for the recalcitrant to catch up. Hell, there are probably some folk who still oppose interracial marriage. Too bad.

I'm talking, of course, about the California Supreme Court decision that states that same-sex couples have a constitutional right to marry.

I am very, very happy about it, and I hope Californians do the right thing and reject the hate- and fear-mongering that anti-gay rights zealots are sure to rain down on us for the next 6 months before the November election.

Hard to believe that is is already four years ago that Gavin Newsome threw open the doors of City Hall to gay marriage, and four years since I wrote the post Putting a Face on the Issue, that included pictures from my two friends who got married at City Hall and then saw their marriage thrown out.

I will say again what I said then:

A couple I know has gotten married in SF, and I defy anyone to frown in the face of their joy. This is not a civil right in the abstract, but a civil rite in practice.

Coincidentally, after posting on gay marriage yesterday, I received a wedding announcement email this afternoon from a couple I know. (I suppose it's not really coincidental, given how this topic is filling the news.)

Jay and Vance have been together for over 15 years and have that kind of relationship it's easy to envy. Each of them is deeply creative, in different arenas, and they support one another in their individual endeavors, while making sure to pursue some endeavors together.

Their email included two lovely wedding day photographs, and the smiles on both their faces are so simple in their joy. They look as youthful and hopeful as any newlywed picture I've ever seen, despite their years together.

Their email speaks for itself:
"We did not expect this opportunity now; we doubted even in our lifetime. Then, we wondered if what San Francisco was doing was "politically expedient." But once it happened, we knew we needed to do it! Even if it lasts legally for only a few days, weeks or months, it is permanent for us. We were already registered Domestic Partners in both San Francisco and with the State of California, but this definitely feels different. We were both deeply moved and affected by this experience."

A marriage, accepted by society, and conducted for society, has some meaning. It builds a stronger society for all. It is one of those rites of passage; one of those experiences that bind us together, rather than keep us apart. It offers us common ground. It is not the only commonality people can share, but it is an important one.

We can believe that society as a majority is not "ready", but it does not mean we can or should stem the tide. I believe this will be the great civil rights movement of this decade.

And I re-publish their wedding photos from that day:


Posted: Sun - May 18, 2008 at 09:39 AM       EmailFeedback

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