BlogHer @ SXSW: Look Who's Stereotyping Now


Perceptions of the very same event can be oh so different

Read with interest this post by Alex about the Blogher/SXSW panel today: Increasing Women's Visbility on the Web: Whose Butt Should We Be Kicking.

I would actually prefer to leave a brief comment, but I don't see that she allows them, so a post it is. And that means it will turn into something a little more lengthy, so bear with me.

Three things surprise me, since I was scribing the whole session and have very thorough notes:

1.She complains about people sterotyping her, particularly women sterotyping her, because she like to dress cute and is pretty. The she proceeds to make some assumptions that, for example, short hair and pants equals lesbianism. Cracks me up, and I'm not going to out the sexual orientation of the panelists, but I can tell you that short hair and pants do not equal lesbianism, how's that?

2. The she complains that no one addressed this question from the audience:
"If stereotypes in reality bother you so much, why would you bring them into internet space? Why is it so important to be a woman blogger and not just a blogger? Why would you focus more on tagging your work as "woman" or "lesbian" instead of a woman who blogs or a lesbian who write? Why cling to names?"

Maybe Alex doesn't count me, because I responded from the audience, not from the dais, but I specifically and directly responded to that audience member by saying that the reason I think it's important is because as long people make assumptions that certain kinds of content comes from certain kinds of people, then self-identification, and shouting it from the rooftops is the only way to break down those assumptions and make people look at individuals as individuals. We're not there yet as a society or an industry, as far as I can tell. Unfortunately the panelists may have felt that, since they know I'm a BlogHer person, that everyone would know that about me, and felt that therefore the question was addressed. (I didn't ask them or anything, I'm just speculating.)

3. Lastly, she generalizes that "These BlogHer women, though, seem to think that as a woman you should be kicking mens asses for visability [sic] and breaking down the boys club and to do that you must be serious woman, hear me roar. A pretty little thing that laughs and wears a dress isn't serious - she's a flirt, she's dumb, she has no value." Well, at least two of the panelists talked about kicking their own butts to achieve what they wanted (Jan and Virginia) and no one actually said anything like that last part of this particular conjecture.

As it happens, I do wish we had gotten to hear more from Tara on this particular topic. Tara (who has short hair and wore pants) has written on her own blog and in many email exchanges about how she would like to be able to be respected and taken seriously without losing her sense of fun, femininity and even flirtatiousness. I relate to that completely.

Bear with me as I veer off into a personal and potentially off-topic story.

Back at the beginning of my tech career a decade ago I know that I was included in some meetings and events to provide what I like to call the "Smart Geisha" factor. In other words, my bosses knew I could talk the talk, but that I also had a more outgoing and lively personality than most of their staff, and so would improve the evening for the customers. (And of course I was the only woman.)

I knew that "Smart Geisha" thing was going on, but I didn't care. I took the opportunity and made the most of it. Yes, I got a little sick of all the surprise expressed whenever I said something both smart and technical. But I also thought I was paying my dues and learning the ropes, and it was a small price to pay. As I continued in my career, and was publishing articles and speaking at conferences and managing teams of product managers etc., well, I expected and was usually greeted with respect for accomplishments and intelligence, even as I still had a lively and outgoing personality. But even when the majority treats you with respect, it's hard to ignore that minority of people who look like they would rather pat you on the head than shake your hand. And my personal experience is that those hold-outs, those dinosaurs were always men, not women. Usually women were so happy to not be the only woman in the room that there was an unspoken bond!

I often talk with Jory about the issue of representation...one bad woman boss suddenly becomes emblematic of how all women are as bosses. Whereas a bad male boss is just a dick. The same thing happens to just about anyone who is outside the majority for a particular function...they become more than individuals, they become representatives for every slice of their identity. It can color perceptions, so that 4 women with actually very different life experiences and opinions seem like a monolithic force.

And so that women can't have short hair and wear pants without being lesbians!! ;)

Posted: Sun - March 12, 2006 at 01:00 PM       EmailFeedback

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