The eighth and final list.

TOP TEN
WAYS TO GET A GOOD GRADE
ON THE FINAL EXAM in ECE 340

10. THINK ABOUT IT EVERY NIGHT BEFORE GOING TO BED AND MAYBE YOU’LL DREAM ABOUT GETTING A GOOD GRADE.

9. SEQUESTER YOURSELF ATOP A LONELY MOUNTAIN AND DO PROBLEMS UNTIL YOU FORGET HOW TO SPEAK ENGLISH.

8. GRAFT AN EXTRA CORTEX TO THE TOP OF YOUR BRAIN.

7. TRAVEL TWO WEEKS INTO THE FUTURE, COPY DOWN THE POSTED SOLUTIONS, TRAVEL BACK TO THE PRESENT AND ACE THE SUCKER. (NOTE: DELOREAN OR PHONE BOOTH REQUIRED)

6. OFFER TO TRADE NAMES WITH THE TOP STUDENT IN THE CLASS—“JUST FOR TODAY”.

5. SEDUCE DR. THARP AND GET THE ANSWERS OUT OF HIM WHEN HIS GUARD IS DOWN. (NOTE: THIS WILL BE TOUGH IF YOU’RE MALE)

4. BUY AN HP 28S CALCULATOR AND PROGRAM THE WHOLE DANG COURSE INTO IT.

3. SET ASIDE THE NIGHT BEFORE THE FINAL AND PARTY, PARTY, PARTY. (NOT VERY EFFECTIVE BUT A LOT OF FUN)

2. CALL EACH OF YOUR CLASSMATES AT 2:00 AM AND THREATEN THEM WITH DEATH IF THEY TRY TO SCORE HIGHER THAN 30.

1. PRAY FOR A MIRACLE.

Postscript
None of these strategies worked for me. I don’t remember what I got on the final precisely because I was more concerned about my final grade. By the end of the semester there was a good chance that I was actually going to fail. A “D” never looked so good.