Life Serial Once More, With Feeling

All the Way


Prologue

It’s Halloween, and the Magic Box is doing brisk business. Anya has everyone helping out, while she roller skates around the shop in short-shorts and a red T-shirt, supervising. Xander is dressed up as a pirate, and entertaining a bunch of kids until Giles asks him for some help behind the counter.

Dawn, who isn’t wearing a costume, asks Anya what her costume is supposed to be. Anya says she’s an angel. Dawn thinks she’s short a couple of wings.

“Oh, no. This is a special kind of angel called a Charlie,” says Anya. “We don’t have wings. We just skate around with perfect hair, fighting crime. Where’s your costume?”

“Like I’m six years old,” says Dawn. “Halloween’s so lame.”

“But you get to dress up and play games,” says Anya. “Xander’s going to teach me a new one after work called Shiver me Timbers. Ever play?”

Tara interrupts and tells Dawn that Willow could use some help over in the book section. Anya asks Tara if she’s ever played Shiver me Timbers.

“I’m not really much for the timber,” says Tara.

When Dawn arrives in the book section Willow is berating a girl dressed in a witch costume. “I’m just saying, you might want to rethink the stereotype before someone turns you into a toad.” The witch takes the Remedial Witchcraft book she wanted out of Willow’s hands, turns and walks away. “And while you’re at it, why don’t you try removing that broomstick from your—” Willow cuts herself off when she sees Dawn.

“Hey, don’t stop the invective on account of me.”

“If I see one more idiot that thinks witches are all hairy moles and rotten teeth—” Willow stops when a terminally cute little girl in a witch costume asks if they have any candy corn.

Willow bends down for a closer look. “Ohh! Look at you. You are just the cutest thing!”

“But I thought you said…” says Dawn.

“I know, but look. With the hat and the—the wart. Ah, oh. Let’s go fill your tummy up with sugary niblets, okay?” Willow leads the little girl away.

Dawn sees a dragon medallion lying on a table. She looks around to make sure no one’s looking, picks it up and slips it into her pocket.

Anya even has Buffy helping out. She asks her to go down into the basement to get some more Mandrake root.

Buffy heads toward the basement door. “Don’t blame me if we have this conversation over and over and over…”


Buffy walks down the stairs. “…and over…and over.” She turns toward the storage shelves and nearly runs into Spike. “Ohh! Bell, neck. Look into it.”

“Come with a nice leather collar, does it?” asks Spike.

Buffy asks what he’s doing lurking down there.

Spike came in through the tunnels to get some burba weed. “Stir it in with the blood, makes it all hot and spicy.” Buffy looks disgusted. “What? I was going to pay for it.”

Buffy raises her eyebrows at Spike, and he admits that he was really going to steal it. “’Cause that’s what I do. I go where I please, and I take what I want. And what’s your excuse, anyway? I thought you had it to the brim with customer disservice.”

“One-time deal to help out,” says Buffy. “And I mean straight time: no loop-the-loop, mummy-hand, repeat-o-vision.” She looks around uncertainly. “Where’s the Mandrake root?”

Spike gets the jar off the shelf and gives it to her. He asks if she feels like a bit of a rough and tumble.

Buffy’s eyes widen. “What?

“Me, you… patrolling? Hello?”

Buffy recovers a little, and tells Spike she should stay in the shop. That’s fine with Spike. The Great Pumpkin is on in twenty minutes. He heads back toward the tunnels.

Buffy takes the Mandrake root and starts up the stairs. “So much easier to talk to when he wanted to kill me.”


Buffy gives the Mandrake root to Anya, and gets told to go help Giles at the cash. She asks him what happened to Xander.

“He kept poking me with his hook,” says Giles. “I sent him over to charmed objects. With any luck, he’ll poke the wrong one and end up in an alternative dimension inhabited by a 50-foot Giles that squishes annoying, teeny pirates. We’ve got a ton of bagging to do here.”

Buffy doesn’t really want to bag, she tells Giles maybe she should go out and do a patrol.

“Buffy, you’ve been patrolling every night this week,” says Giles. “Besides, it’s Halloween. It’s the one time of the year that supernatural threats give it a well-deserved rest. As should you.”

“Yeah, what about costumes that take over your personality or wee, little, Irish fear-demony thingies?” asks Buffy.

“Yes. Well, if anything calamitous should happen, history suggests it will happen to one of us.”

“Right, exactly, so I should patrol to avoid any of that—” Giles hands her a voodoo doll. “And I’m bagging.”


An elderly gentleman carries a bag of groceries past the “Keep of the grass sign” on his lawn and up onto his porch. He is quietly humming Pop Goes the Weasel. He carries the groceries into his house.

The man carries his groceries into his kitchen, and sniffs at a large pot simmering on the stove. He looks out through the blinds at some costumed kids walking along the street. “Happy Halloween,” he says to himself, and laughs. “Give you something special this year.” He takes a butcher knife from his kitchen drawer, and tests sharpness of its edge with his thumb. He goes back to humming. “Da, da da-da, da.”


Act I

Dawn shows the last customers out of the Magic Box and nearly collapses against the door after she closes it. Xander is lying on the floor, and Buffy, Willow, Tara and Giles are all sitting on the stairs.

Anya is still full of energy, counting up the money from the cash register. “That was the most amazing experience of my life. What you all did for me— The astounding heaps of money you helped me—” Giles clears his throat. “You helped us acquire. All I can say is, I hope we make as much tomorrow!”

“Tomorrow?” asks Buffy.

“Oh. Post-holiday clearance. The cornerstone of retail,” says Anya, which elicits a groan from everyone. Giles goes to get brooms.

“Or I could whip up a jaunty self-cleaning incantation,” says Willow. “It’ll be like Fantasia.”

Giles hands her a broom and a dust pan. “We all know how splendidly that turned out for Mickey.”

“I think I’m a little more adept than a cartoon mouse.”

Dawn joins Anya behind the counter. Anya is doing a little dance with the money and Dawn joins in. “You do this every night?”

“After I close out the cash register,” says Anya. “The Dance of Capitalist Superiority.”

Xander is watching Anya and Dawn, and smiling. “I’m going to marry that girl,” he says quietly.

What?” asks Buffy. “She’s fifteen and my sister, so don’t even— Oh.”

Xander gets to his feet, and moves toward Anya. He tells everyone that he and Anya have something they want to tell them. “We’re getting married.”

“Oh, my god!” says Dawn, and she smiles. Tara offers her congratulations. Willow is mostly just stunned.

“I…I thought you were waiting for the right moment,” says Anya.

“I did.” Xander kisses her.

Anya’s hands are full. “Here, have some money.” She tosses the money in her hands to Dawn, and grabs Xander for a better kiss.

Buffy asks Giles if he’d known about this.

“No. Unless I blocked it from my memory, much as I will Xander’s vigorous use of his tongue.” Giles takes off his glasses, and starts to clean them.

Is that why you’re always cleaning your glasses?” whispers Buffy. “So you don’t have to see what we’re doing?

“Tell no one,” says Giles.

“Giles, this is… We have to do something.”


Everyone has moved to Buffy’s house for an impromptu engagement party. Anya shows Dawn her ring, and tells her how Xander proposed to her. Dawn asks if she can try it on.

“Oh, absolutely not,” says Anya.

Giles comes out of the kitchen carrying a tray full of plastic cups. “Where I come from, this sort of thing requires much in the way of libation.”

Xander takes one of the cups and raises it in a toast. “God save the Queen!”

Buffy apologises for the lack of fancy, this kind of took her by surprise.

Anya tells Buffy it’s okay. This is just the first of the premarital celebrations. “There’ll be lots more…with gifts.”

“Sure. Maybe we’ll even have time to decorate for the next one,” says Tara.

“Why wait?” asks Willow. “Karzaritate tamae.”1 Her magic sweeps through the house, filling it with streamers and other decorations. Dawn laughs.

“This is so much better than the way it usually looks.” Anya gives Willow a hug. “Thank you!”

Giles and Tara exchange a worried look.


Willow pours a bag of chips into a bowl in the kitchen. Tara tells her that they could have gone to the store for decorations. Willow thinks hers are fine, and extra biodegradable. They’ll disappear in a couple of hours.

“They’re great,” says Tara. “It’s just…why use magic when you can do something naturally?”

“Well, you can fight monsters naturally with sticks and stones,” says Willow. “Don’t recommend it, though.”

Tara thinks that this is different. Using magic to fight monsters is helping people.

Willow thinks her decorations helped Anya. They made her happy.

“That’s not the point, Will!” says Tara.

“Why are you being like this?” asks Willow.

“This isn’t about me.”

“This is so about you. You’re always coming down on me for doing magic that couldn’t harm a fly. What’s your problem?”

“Willow, I just wish that you would stop and think about what you’re—” Tara stops when she sees Dawn has come into the kitchen, looking for the chips. Dawn apologises for interrupting. She’s embarrassed to have caught them arguing.

“It’s okay,” says Willow. “We’re done.” She takes the bowl of chips out to the living room.


Buffy gives Xander an over-enthusiastic hug. She can’t believe he’s getting married. “I was only out of commission for three months. How many other things have changed since I’ve been away?”

“Oh, I got a tattoo,” says Dawn.

What?” asks Buffy.

“Which is why we told her no,” says Willow.

Dawn asks if she can have a little one.

“Over my dead body,” says Buffy. “The kind that doesn’t come back.”

Dawn offers her congratulations to Anya again, and hugs her. “You’re very lucky. Finding a guy like him. See you guys tomorrow?”

“Ho. Tomorrow?” asks Buffy.

“Yeah. I’m sleeping over at Janice’s, remember?” says Dawn.

“That’s tonight?”

“No, it’s on the other Halloween,” says Dawn. “Come on, you said I could.”

“Uh… Well, I know I did,” says Buffy, “it’s just now with Xander’s party…”

“Ah, we’re good.” Xander gives Anya a hug. “But you’ll have to get us some extra gifts for our reception.”

“Yes, please,” says Anya

“I—I don’t know.” Buffy looks around for some support. “Giles?”

“It’s really not up to me,” says Giles.

“Come on,” says Dawn. “It’s four blocks away. I’ll walk straight over. Not like I’m going to be roaming the streets. Please?”


Dawn walks along the street. She hears a noise coming from an alley. She picks up a stick, and goes in to investigate. She finds a guy and a girl making out, and they are not pleased that Dawn interrupted them.

Dawn backs away, and is startled by someone behind her. She spins around and raises her stick. It’s her friend Janice. “Hey, Summers. Did you get over the wall okay?”

Dawn lowers the stick. “Yeah. My sister thinks I’m staying at your house.”

Janice has told her mother that she’s staying at Dawn’s. “Can’t believe they fell for that one. Like, own a TV.”

Dawn asks where they’re meeting, and Janice tells her the park. She switches into a spooky voice. “That’s where the monsters gather on Halloween.”


There’s a group of five kids, three guys and two girls, waiting in the park. Janice goes up to one of them, Zack, gives him a hug, and introduces him to Dawn.

Hello!” Zack leers at Dawn, and he gets an elbow from Janice.

Zack’s friend Justin introduces himself to Dawn. He’s happy to finally meet her. They’ve seen each other at parties, but this is the first time they’ve really met. He’s a tall, good looking guy wearing a gold and maroon Sunnydale High jacket.

The other guy and the two girls take off, leaving Dawn and Janice alone with Justin and Zack. Janice asks the guys what they want to do.


Zack throws an egg at a cardboard witch in front of a house while Justin lets the air out of the tires of the van parked in the driveway.

“Witches don’t really look like that,” says Dawn.

“You got a lot of witch friends?” asks Justin.

“Uh, no. I mean… from stuff that I’ve read and stuff,” says Dawn. “Um, some of them are supposed to be really pretty, and you don’t want to get them mad.”

Zack wants to find a new target, and heads off down the street with Justin. Janice and Dawn follow about ten feet behind. “So?” asks Janice.

“He’s okay,” says Dawn.

“‘Ho hum’ okay, or like… ‘Oh, my god, I think I’m going to pee my pants’ okay?” asks Janice.

Dawn hesitates for a moment before answering. “Pee!”

Zack and Justin are having a similar conversation up in front. Justin thinks Dawn is cute.

“Well, congratulations for having eyeballs,” says Zack. “But what about, you know…going all the way? You think that, uh…” He looks back and sees that the girls are closing in on them. “…that the moon and the stars look lovely tonight?”

“You think when we’re done with this juvie crap, maybe we can do something else?” asks Janice. “I’m getting kind of bored.”

Zack looks at the house across the street from them. “Just one more.”


Giles sits down beside Xander on the stairs and hands him another drink. He thinks Anya is a wonderful former vengeance demon, and they will have many years of non-hell dimensional bliss together. He asks if they are moving in together. “You know, with your combined incomes, you might think about a down payment on a house.”

“Like the kind you live in?” asks Xander.

“No rush. I’m sure you have plenty to think about with the arrangements of the wedding and such. You’ve got the rest of your lives to plan the rest of your lives.”

Xander is getting more and more nervous about this whole thing.


The four kids stop in front of the elderly man’s house. Janice doesn’t want to go near it. “You know who lives there?”

“Old Man Kaltenbach,” says Justin.

“Isn’t he supposed to be mental or something?” asks Dawn.

“Total looney tunes,” says Zack. He indicates the intricately carved pumpkin sitting on the front porch. “Pumpkins… Very dangerous.” He shoves Janice toward it. “You go first.”

Janice doesn’t want to get anywhere near that house, but Zack tries to egg her on. Justin intervenes, and tells him to lay off.

“I’ll do it,” says Dawn.

“Look, you don’t have to do this,” says Justin.

“It’s okay,” says Dawn. “I want to.”

Dawn slowly approaches the porch. She reaches out and picks up the pumpkin. She raises it over her head, and turns around toward the others, with a smile on her face.

Mr. Kaltenbach grabs Dawn’s wrist. She screams and drops the pumpkin.

“Shouldn’t ought to mess with those,” says Mr. Kaltenbach. “Sometimes they bite.”

Justin and Zack run up to the porch, and tell Mr. Kaltenbach to get away from Dawn.

Mr. Kaltenbach laughs and invites them inside. “Got something special for ya.” He turns and walks back into his house. “Daddy’s got a treat!”

Zack thinks that sounds cool, but Janice really doesn’t want to go inside. She appeals to Dawn for support.


Zack examines a toy robot in Mr. Kaltenbach’s living room. Dawn, Janice and Justin are sitting on the sofa. There are toys all around the room. Zack thinks it’s cool, and asks where they came from.

Mr. Kaltenbach used to design them. “Nothing would give me more pleasure than to see a child’s face light up when he’d open one of mine on a Christmas or a birthday. I was good. Jeepers, I was the best. And then that thing happened. One little mistake…and they took it all away from me. They…they took my toys.” He suddenly cheers up again. “Time for the treats! Who wants to help daddy in the kitchen? How about you, Sally?” he asks Dawn.

Justin gets up off the sofa. “Uh, Sally’s not much for the cooking. Why don’t I give you a hand?”

Mr. Kaltenbach seems disappointed. “Hands are good. Always use more hands. More hands.” He starts to hum Pop Goes the Weasel as Justin follows him into the kitchen.

Janice is getting even more creeped out, and wants to get out of there. Zack has picked up a Jack in the Box and is turning its crank. He wants to stick around and see what the big treat is. Dawn sides with Janice this time. They should get Justin and go.

“Come on,” says Zack. “The dude’s a thousand years old. What is he going to do, drown us in his drool cup?”

The Jack in the Box pops open. “Hey, where’s its head?” asks Dawn.


Mr. Kaltenbach closes the kitchen door. He is still humming Pop Goes the Weasel when he picks up the butcher knife.

“Boo!” says the vampire Justin from behind him.


Act II

Mr. Kaltenbach knocks the pan of Halloween decorated Rice Krispy squares he was about to cut up off the counter as Justin’s teeth sink into his neck.


Dawn hears the pan hit the floor, and starts toward the kitchen to see what’s happening.

Justin runs out the door before she gets there. “Let’s go.”

“What happened?” asks Dawn.

“I swiped his wallet when he wasn’t looking,” says Justin. “Come on.”


Oh my god! Oh my god!” squeal Dawn and Janice as they run down the front steps of the house.

Zack and Justin follow at a more leisurely pace. Justin rubs his stomach. “Dude, that guy was rank.”

“Bet a spritz of Dawn will wash that right out,” says Zack. “So what do you think? Lunchables…or should we go all the way and turn ’em?”


Xander and Anya stand in front of Giles and Buffy, who are sitting on the sofa.

“So, I was thinking maybe a June wedding, but then I remembered that they always had the highest percentage of calls for vengeance,” says Anya. “So now I’m leaning towards as soon as damn possible. I mean, mortal life being so short, we got to cram in as much marital bliss as we can before we wither and die.” Xander’s eyes are starting to glaze over. “I mean, there’s just so much to consider, though. I mean, planning the wedding and new cars, house, and babies. You have to plan for babies. Otherwise, they’ll just run roughshod over your entire existence.”

“Yeah,” says Xander. “You got to know what to call ’em before they hit college.”

“Rupert is an exceptionally strong name,” says Giles.

Anya laughs. “Yeah, if we want our progeny to eat paste and have their lunch money stolen.”

Buffy nearly laughs too. “Look, all that matters is that they’re happy,” she tells Giles. “Everything else is thick-gravy goodness.”

“I know. I mean, I’m the luckiest ex-demon in the world,” says Anya. “I mean, to be able to find the one person in all dimensions that I was meant to be with and have everything work out exactly as I dreamed. I mean, how often does the universe allow that to happen?”


Xander needs air. He steps out onto the front porch. Buffy pulls on her jacket and goes with him. She asks if he’s okay.

“Yeah. I just… It’s just, I— I didn’t think it’d be so much.”

“But this is good,” says Buffy. “I mean, this is love and celebration and moving forward. Anya’s right. This is the way life’s supposed to work out.”

“Right,” says Xander. “Deep pools of ooey delight. I’m wallowing, not drowning. Okay, so…once more into the breach?”

Buffy thinks her breaches are wearing a little thin. She’s going to take Spike up on his offer to patrol. “Got to be something out there cruising for a smackdown.” She leaves the porch. Xander goes back to the door. He takes a deep breath before opening it.


Justin and Dawn walk down the street together. He asks if she’s a sophomore.

“Heh. I wish,” says Dawn.

“Ohh…A freshman,”2 says Justin.

“Yep,” says Dawn. “Way down there at the bottom of the rung. Actually, kinda under those little rubber feet that keep the ladder steady.”

“Hey, those are important,” says Justin. He pulls the cash out of Mr. Kaltenbach’s wallet and gives it to Dawn. “The spoils of war. You earned it. For keeping me steady. And so begins her life of crime.”

“You’re a little late,” says Dawn. “I steal all the time. I haven’t paid for lipstick since…forever.”

“Oh, be still my heart,” says Justin. “Cute and bad.”

“Yeah. Bad to the bone,” says Dawn.

Justin notices the way Dawn’s got her arms wrapped around herself. “More like frozen. Here.” He takes off his jacket and puts it around her shoulders.

“Thanks.” Dawn smiles at him.

“My pleasure, Miss Summers.”

Janice comes back sipping on a Huge Glug, and asks where Zack went. Justin tells them he went to get the car.

“You guys got a car?” asks Dawn.


Zack dumps a woman out of her car onto the street. “Thanks for the ride!”


Buffy wanders Sunnydale’s streets, watching the trick-or-treaters, and happy couples out enjoying the night. An ambulance races past, with its siren blaring. She decides to follow it.

When Buffy arrives on the scene the paramedics are loading the nearly dead woman Zack stole the car from into the ambulance. Buffy sees the bite mark on her neck.


Giles answers the phone in the kitchen. It’s Mrs. Penshaw, Janice’s mother, calling to check on her daughter. Giles tells her he thought Dawn was at her house. He promises to let her know if they turn up.

Giles goes into the living room where an unhappy Tara is watching Xander, Anya and Willow dance. He turns off the music and tells them that Janice told her mother she was staying there tonight.

“Ahh…they’re dipping into the classics,” says Xander. “You gotta respect that.”

“Is Buffy still outside?” asks Giles.

“Uh, no, no,” says Xander. “She was getting antsy. She went to go find Spike to patrol.”

“Well, it’s nice to be kept in the loop,” says Giles. “Um, Xander, Anya, you stay here in case Mrs. Penshaw calls again. Willow, Tara, you check downtown. I’ll swing by Spike’s, see if I can catch Buffy.”


The car pulls into a secluded spot in the woods. Zack and Janice get out of the back seat. “Don’t do nothing I would, dude,” he tells Justin, who was driving.

Janice gives Zack a kiss. “You’re it.” She runs off into the trees.

Zack vamps out. “I love it when they run.” He chases her.


Dawn and Justin sit together in the front seat of the car. “So…” says Dawn.

“Yeah,” says Justin.

Dawn is still feeling cold. She asks if Justin wants his jacket back, but he says he’s fine. Cold doesn’t bother him.

“What are you, Superman?”

“No, but I do have a few special powers.” Justin starts to lean toward her.

Dawn leans toward the radio. “Does this work?” She tries to turn it on.

Justin turns on the ignition so the radio will work, and a soft song begins to play. “I love this one,” says Dawn.

Justin brushes Dawn’s hair back away from her face. “Another thing we have in common. You’re shaking.”

“It’s cold,” says Dawn.

“Do you…want to go?”

“No. It’s just… What do you expect—”

“Shh. I just want to taste you.” Justin leans toward Dawn and kisses her. She kisses him back.


Act III

Dawn comes up for air. “Shiver me timbers!” Justin wonders what she’s talking about, and she says it’s nothing, “Just…wow!

“Oh, my god. That was your first!” says Justin. Dawn tries to deny it, but Justin knows better. “It was. That was your first kiss.”

Dawn tries to tell Justin that she’s kissed lots of guys. “Not that I’m a kiss slut, just, you know, with the lips and the pressing together and stuff. Hey, expert here.” He clearly isn’t buying it. “Okay, okay, it was my first kiss. I know, I know. I suck. My lips are dry. My tongue’s all horrible and sticky. And I’m pretty sure I drooled on you. So just please tell me how awful it was.”

Justin pulls Dawn toward him, and kisses her again. “It was perfect.”


Willow and Tara enter the Bronze, where a Halloween party is in full swing. Willow looks at a couple dressed up as Luke Skywalker, and Princess Leia dancing very up close and personal together. “Do they know they’re brother and sister?”

Tara is wondering if Willow really thinks Dawn might be there. Willow thinks it’s likely. This is where she would have gone at fifteen, if she hadn’t been such a spaz. Tara doesn’t really believe that Willow was a spaz.

“Yeah,” says Willow. “Hard to believe such a hot mama yama came from humble, geek-infested roots.”

They start climbing the stairs up to the Bronze’s balcony. “Infested roots. Trying to turn me on?” asks Tara.

“I have to try now?” asks Willow, and gives her a kiss. They move out onto the balcony, and look down at the crowd. There are too many people to tell if Dawn’s there. Tara suggests that they talk to security, but Willow thinks that will take too long. She looks down at the crowd.

“One among many, many fade to one—”

Tara grabs her arm. “What are you doing, Will?”

“I’m just going to clear the crowd.”

“How?”

“I’ll just shift everyone who isn’t a fifteen-year-old girl into an alternate dimension. It’ll be like for a fraction of a second. They won’t even notice.”

Tara does not think that’s a good idea, something might go wrong.

“It won’t,” says Willow.

“But w-what would Giles say?” asks Tara.

Sukut!3 says Willow, and the noise of the crowd and the band vanishes. Everyone around them keeps talking with each other, but Willow and Tara can’t hear them.

“Are you taking his side now?” asks Willow. “You two have been talking about me behind my back. You know how that makes me feel?”

Tara hasn’t been talking with Giles. She just thinks that Willow is using too much magic. “What do you want me to do, just sit back and keep my mouth shut?”

“That’d be a good start,” says Willow.

“If I didn’t love you so damn much, I would!” says Tara. She cancels the spell as she turns and walks away from Willow. The noise of the Bronze returns. Willow calls after her, but Tara ignores her.


Justin and Dawn are still making out in the car. She suddenly pulls away. “Ow!” There are tooth marks in her lip.

“Sorry,” says Justin.

Dawn tells Justin its okay, as long as it isn’t bleeding. He starts to kiss her again. Dawn pulls back. “Justin…could we—”

“It’s just… God, you are so beautiful.” Justin kisses her again.

Dawn runs her hand up along Justin’s arm, and to his face. She feels the ridges on his forehead and opens her eyes. She sees his yellow eyes.


Buffy barges into Spike’s crypt. “Get your gear together. We need to—” She looks around but doesn’t see any sign of the vampire. “Spike?”

Spike appears behind Buffy. “You know…” She starts and spins around. “…in civilized cultures, that’s called trespassing.”

“Good thing you’re uncivilized,” says Buffy. “We got trouble.”

“Giles found you?” asks Spike.

“Giles? No. He is looking for me?”

“Yeah. It’s Dawn.”

Buffy is instantly worried. “Dawn? What happened?”

“No, it’s okay,” says Spike. “Giles was by here earlier looking for you. Dawn and her little friend pulled a Houdini. Up to a bit of candy-corn mischief, I suspect.”

“Wait. She’s out there running around by herself?”

“Kids these days, eh?” asks Spike. “I did a sweep of the tunnels. Giles is poking by the cemetery.”

Buffy heads for the trunk where Spike keeps his weapons and opens it. “We have to find her.”

“I don’t think she’s in there,” says Spike. Buffy tosses him a mini-crossbow.


Giles moves through the cemetery. A low lying fog obscures the ground. “Mist. Cemetery. Halloween. This should end well.” He trips over something hidden by the fog.

Giles gets back up and brushes himself off. “Bloody brilliant!” He hears a scream.

Giles runs out the cemetery gate, and through the woods toward the source of the scream. He finds a vampire with its teeth in a girl’s neck. He pulls it off her. “Dawn, are you all right?” It isn’t Dawn. “Janice?”

Janice holds her hand to her neck. “He bit me! That jerk bit me!”

“Like you weren’t asking for it,” says the vampire Zack.

Giles turns and shines his flashlight on the vampire’s face. “I feel certain she wasn’t.”

“What do you know about it, grandpa?” Zack charges at him. He tackles Giles and they roll down the hill together.

Giles and Zack scramble back to their feet. Zack attacks again, and Giles hits him with a flying kick. Zack is impaled through the heart on a dead tree branch, and bursts into dust.

Giles turns back to Janice, and asks where Dawn is. She just shrugs.


Dawn runs from the car. “Get off me!”

Justin chases after her. “Dawn, wait. Wait!” He grabs her and spins her around. “I thought we could hang out or something.”

Hang out?” asks Dawn.

“Yeah,” says Justin. “I mean, you’re not like other girls. You’re different. There’s something special about you. I knew it the first time I saw you. I just want to be close to you.” He brushes his hand against her cheek, and Dawn flinches away. “Shh. It’s okay. It’ll only hurt for a second.” Dawn closes her eyes as Justin leans in to bite her.

“I bet you say that to all the girls,” says Giles.

Dawn spins around. “Giles?” Justin grabs her by the throat.

Giles strides toward them. “Now, you have a choice, son: we can do this the easy way, or we can do this the har—” Giles suddenly finds himself standing in the glare of several sets of car headlights. He looks around and sees that he is surrounded by vampires.

“What were my choices again?” asks Justin.


Act IV

Giles looks around at the vampires closing in on him. He’s startled by a hand on his shoulder.

“So, this a private game, or can anyone join in?” asks Spike.

Buffy runs into the clearing. “Dawn, are you—” Justin lets go of Dawn, and steps away from her. Buffy looks around and takes in the surroundings. “Were you parking…with a vamp?”

“I-I didn’t know he was dead,” says Dawn.

“Living dead,” says Justin.

“Shut up!” says Dawn.

“How could you not know?” asks Buffy.

“I just met him.”

“Oh, so you went parking in the woods with a boy you just met?”

“We’ve seen each other at parties,” says Justin.

“Shut up!” says Buffy. “I don’t believe you.”

“Oh, like you’ve never fallen for a vampire?” says Dawn.

“That was different!”

“It always is when it’s you,” says Dawn.

The leader of this band of vampires interrupts. “Excuse me. Can we fight now?”

“Hey, didn’t anyone come here to just make out?” asks Buffy. A boy and a girl at the edge of the clearing raise their hands. “Aw, that’s sweet. You run.” The kids run. Buffy points at one of the vampires. “You scream.”

Spike charges at the vampire leader, and Giles attacks a pair of girl vampires. The vampire Buffy told to scream rushes her. “Die, Slayer!” Buffy steps aside, and plunges her stake into its heart.

“Your sister’s the Slayer?” Justin asks Dawn. “I totally get it! I knew there was something about you!”

Dawn knees him in the groin, and runs.

Giles is having trouble with the two girl vampires he’s fighting. “Giles!” shouts Buffy, and she throws him her stake. He uses it to quickly kill the two vamps. Another vampire tackles him.


The vampire leader kicks Spike to the ground. “What is your malfunction, man?

Spike gets back to his feet. “It’s Halloween, you nit! We take the night off. Those are the rules!” He punches the vampire back against a tree.

The vampire recovers. “Me and mine don’t follow no stinking rules! We’re rebels!”

Spike kicks the vampire back against the tree. “No, I’m a rebel, you’re an idiot.” He pulls the mini-crossbow out of his coat and shoots the vamp in the heart. “Give the lot of us a bad name.” He starts to reload, but he gets tackled by another vampire, and the arrow fires off into the woods.


One of the vampires tries to make a break for a car. Buffy catches it. The vampire throws her onto the car hood, and punches down at her. Buffy dodges the punch and its fist goes right through the hood.

Buffy flips to her feet on top of the car. She kicks at the vamp, but it grabs her foot and pulls her off the hood. It snaps off the car’s radio antenna, and tries to choke her with it. Buffy elbows the vampire, kicks off the car, flips herself around behind the vamp, and takes over the choking. The vampire spins around, smashes her against the car and breaks free.

The vamp charges at Buffy. She swings open the car door and smashes it into the vamp’s face. It tries to kick her, but she dodges, and the vampire’s foot smashes the door window. Buffy grabs the vamp and pulls it through the window. It rolls to the ground, and she kicks it in the head. It falls back against the base of the door frame. Buffy slams the car door shut on the vampire’s head and it explodes into dust.


Dawn moves through the woods, looking around nervously. Justin appears behind her. “Trick or treat!”

Dawn tries to run, but Justin catches her and pulls her to the ground. He rolls Dawn onto her back and sits astride her, pinning her arms beside her head. “Give me something good to eat.” He starts to lean toward her neck.

“I thought you really liked me,” says Dawn.

Justin straightens up, and lets go of Dawn’s hands. “I do. And you like me, too.”

“I do,” says Dawn.

Justin leans toward Dawn’s neck again. She looks away. Justin jerks back, and explodes into dust. Dawn is holding the arrow from Spike’s crossbow in her hand.


Epilogue

Everyone returns to Buffy’s house. Buffy apologises to Xander and Anya for the interruption of their engagement party. They tell her not to worry about it. It gave Anya more time to plan the bridal shower. “Where do we order obscenely muscular male strippers?”

“Anya!” says Xander.

“Well, I’m kidding. Jeez,” says Anya. They start to leave the house. “We’ll talk,” Anya mouths back at Buffy.

Spike thinks he should be going too. “Something about big bads not venturing far from their crypts on Halloween.”

“Good fight.” Buffy tells him as he goes.

Willow is sorry to have missed the fight. Tara doesn’t seem to want to talk about it. She goes upstairs to go to bed. Willow follows her.

Giles comes out of the kitchen, holding an icepack against his jaw. Buffy asks how he’s feeling. “Oh, still ruggedly handsome,” says Giles. “Grandpa, indeed.”

Buffy looks into the dining room. Dawn is sitting in one of the chairs, holding Justin’s jacket in her lap. “She’s taking it pretty hard.”

“It’s not surprising,” says Giles. “Still we can’t ignore this kind of behaviour. Something needs to be done before it spins out of control.”

“You’re right,” says Buffy. “I’m glad you’re here to take care of it. Don’t be too hard on her, okay?” She runs upstairs before Giles can object.

Giles walks into the dining room. “We need to have a conversation,” he tells Dawn.

“This the part where you tell me you’re not angry, just disappointed?”

“Pretty much,” says Giles. “Except for the bit about not being angry.”


Willow tells Tara that she’s sorry, but Tara doesn’t think it’s that easy.

“What do you want me to do, reverse time and take it back?” asks Willow. “’Cause I could probably—” Tara glares at her. “Joke. I don’t think I could really—”

Tara doesn’t want to talk about it. She just wants to go to bed. She’s tired.

“Okay. Let’s just forget it ever happened.” Willow picks up a flower off her dresser, and holds it in her palm. “Forget,” she says quietly, and the flower glows briefly.

Willow turns out the lights, and gets into bed beside Tara. She slips the flower under Tara’s pillow. Tara tells Willow her feet are cold.

“Better warm me up,” says Willow.

Tara snuggles up next to her. “Mmm. This is how every day should always end and start and all the stuff in the middle.”

“So, uh, you’re not mad?” asks Willow.

“About what?”



Death Toll

Who or What Where How
Mr. Kaltenbach His kitchen Killed by the vampire Justin
The vampire Zack The woods Impaled on a tree branch by Giles
Vampire 1 The woods Staked by Buffy
Vampire 2 The woods Staked by Giles
Vampire 3 The woods Staked by Giles
Vampire 4 The woods Shot with crossbow by Spike
Vampire 5 The woods Decapitated with a car door by Buffy
The vampire Justin The woods Staked by Dawn

Notes

  1. Translation: (from Japanese) Adorn with happiness.
  2. Once again the Buffy production people demonstrate that they have a problem with dates and such. Dawn was in grade nine last year, she should be in grade ten, and be a sophomore now.
  3. Translation: (from Arabic) Quiet!