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The SETI Slayers | Fanfic
| New Moon Rising | Primeval |
Colonel McNamara talks with one of his superiors—Mr Ward—over a video link. He reports that HST captures are up despite the rather low morale of the Initiative’s soldiers following the death of Maggie Walsh, and Adam’s escape. They are running out of room to keep all the HSTs they have been capturing.
“Quite a mess,” says Mr. Ward.
“It’s not my mess, sir,” says McNamara. “I’m just holding the fort while you figure out what you want to do with the place.”
Mr. Ward consults his notes. “This incident with Finn was unfortunate.”
“Fell in with a bad crowd,” says McNamara. “Quite frankly, I don’t think he was ever the soldier that you all hoped he was. The boy thinks too much.”
Nevertheless, Mr. Ward tells McNamara that the government wants Riley back. They have invested a lot in him. McNamara doesn’t expect finding Finn to be much of a problem, he will probably stick close to the girl.
Mr. Ward consults his notes again to get Buffy’s name. He says that their data banks don’t have much information on her.
McNamara isn’t worried. “She’s just a girl.”
“She’s a lot more than that.” Spike tells Adam. “Slayer’s dangerous, is all I’m saying.”
“Yes,” says Adam. “She makes things interesting.”
Spike doesn’t think Adam is taking Buffy seriously enough. “You’re not getting it, Mr. Bits. You’re going to be interestingly dead.” Buffy has a habit of messing up the plans of every would-be unstoppable bad-ass who ever came to Sunnydale. When Adam’s plan goes down, Buffy is going to be right in the thick of it. “You ready for that?”
“I’m counting on it,” says Adam.
Adam knows that Spike has killed two Slayers before. He wonders why Spike is afraid of this one. Spike denies that he’s afraid of Buffy. He is just inclined to be cautious. He knows his enemies.
“Do you?” asks Adam. “Then why haven’t you killed this Slayer yet?”
“Because.” Spike doesn’t really have a good explanation. “Stinking rotten luck is why. On top of that, now I’ve got this buggering chip in my head.” Adam understands that. He tells Spike that he understands how he feels. Spike thinks that is highly unlikely.
“You feel smothered,” says Adam. “Trapped like an animal. Pure in its ferocity. Unable to actualize the urges within. Clinging to one truth, like a flame, struggling to burn within an enclosed glass. That a beast this powerful cannot be contained. Inevitably, it will break free and savage the land again. I will make you whole again, make you savage.”
“Wow!” says Spike. Adam does understand. “I get why the demons all fall in line with you. You’re like Tony Robbins, if he was a big, scary, Frankenstein-looking— you’re exactly like Tony Robbins.”
Adam promises to remove Spike’s chip, once he has the Slayer where he wants her. Spike still doesn’t think much of Adam’s chances. “She’s crafty. Her and her little friends.”
“Friends?” Adam turns to look at him.
“There’s your—what you call it—variable,” says Spike. “The Slayer’s got pals. You want her evening the odds in a fight, you don’t want her Slayerettes mucking about.”
“Take them away from her,” says Adam.
That’s a plan that appeals to Spike. He thinks it will work, and he has a pretty good notion of how to do it too. Plus, it will be fun, making Buffy suffer. Adam is doubtful. What can Spike do to them, if he can’t hurt them.
“Not a blessed thing,” says Spike. “They’re going to do it for me.”
Buffy returns to her room in the dorm, just back from her trip to see Angel in L.A.1 She is disappointed to see that Willow isn’t there. She lies down in her bed without bothering to get undressed.
Xander delivers some clothes to Riley’s hideout in the ruins of Sunnydale High. Something civilian for him to wear while Riley’s other civies are being cleaned. Xander thinks that they will make him look like a new man.
The pants that Riley pulls out of the bag Xander has brought are a little too civilian for Riley’s taste. “Would this man have a bright red nose and big, floppy feet?”
Neither of them has heard from Buffy since she left for L.A. The sooner Buffy gets back the better Riley will feel. Xander agrees, and Riley senses that Xander isn’t a big Angel fan.
“It’s not like I hate the guy,” says Xander. “Just, you know, the guts part of him.”
Riley understands, but he thinks, to be fair, it isn’t really Angel that Xander hates. It’s the curse. Xander asks how much Riley knows. Riley tells him that Buffy told him all about it. How she loved Angel, he lost his soul, killed a bunch of people, got his soul back, and went away. “Interesting little curse.”
“One moment’s happiness,” says Xander.
“What do you mean?”
“You know, it’s his trigger. Angel’s an okay guy if he’s mopey and sad and brooding. But you give him even one second of pure, real pleasure—” Xander shakes his head.
“And that sets him off,” says Riley.
“Only in the big old ‘kill your friends’ kind of way,” says Xander. “And you know what makes Angel happiest? I’ll give you a hint. It’s not creme brulee.”
“Buffy.” Riley figures out something Buffy hadn’t told him about Angel. “Sex with Buffy.”
“She kind of left that part out, huh?”
Riley really isn’t happy to have learned this latest bit of Buffy’s past. Xander tries to reassure him that Angel is all part of Buffy’s ancient history. Riley isn’t so sure. If Angel is so much a part of Buffy’s past, why did she run off to L.A.? Xander thinks Riley will feel much better when he sees her.
Giles practices playing his guitar in his apartment. Singing Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Free Bird. He looks up and is startled to see Spike watching him. Spike thinks that for someone who used to be a Watcher, Giles ought to watch his door a little more carefully.
He goes to Giles’ fridge and gets out the bag of blood that he’d left there. He bites into it, squeezes its contents into a cup, and tells Giles he’s looking for Buffy. He has some information for her. He sticks the cup into the microwave to heat it up.
Giles suggests that Spike should tell him whatever he wants to say to Buffy. Spike has no intention of telling Giles anything, and he wasn’t foolish enough to have actually brought the information with him, so that Giles could beat it out of him. He just knows where he can lay his hands on some of the Initiative’s secret files. Maggie Walsh’s notes on Adam, stuff like that. He figures that they ought to be worth something.
“At this point,” says Giles, “A cynical person might think that you are offering just what we need when we need it most.”
“That person’d be right, Rupert,” says Spike. “Supply and demand. And it won’t be cheap this time.” Spike wants a year’s supply of blood, guaranteed protection, bushels of cash, and most important: a guarantee that he won’t be slain. Giles agrees.
This is not anywhere near good enough for Spike. He wants the Slayer’s word on it. “I’ll tell her,” says Giles.
No where near good enough for Spike. “What makes you think she’ll listen to you?”
“Because, I’m her Watcher.”
Spike points out that Giles should be using the past tense, and Buffy didn’t pay a whole lot of attention to him even when he was her Watcher. These days she treats him like a retired librarian. That cuts much too close to Giles’ bone. He pours himself a scotch as Spike leaves.
Willow sits on Tara’s bed playing with Tara’s new kitten, which at the moment is named Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tara thinks they need a better name for her. They are still at the stage where they think that everything the cat does is so cute. “It’s so cool that she’s ours.” Willow quickly corrects herself. “Yours. That she’s yours is cool.”
“She can be ours if you want,” says Tara. They’re in the middle of selecting their courses for next year. Tara suggests that Willow can take sophomore psychology as her elective. Willow thinks she’s all psyched out after Professor Walsh. She suggests something fun, like drama.
Something else they have to deal with is housing for next year. Willow suggests that they look into one of the off campus houses. Tara is a little surprised by that. She thought Willow would still be dorming with Buffy. That’s something Willow hasn’t talked about with Buffy yet. She had thought that she and Buffy would be rooming together for life, but lately they haven’t been spending that much time together. Buffy is always off with Riley, and Willow is doing her own things. It’s something they’re going to have to talk about.
There’s a knock on Buffy’s door, and she answers it. It’s Riley. He got tired of hanging around waiting, so… Buffy looks at his pants. “You joined the circus?”
Riley explains that Xander gave them to him while the rest of his wardrobe was being cleaned. “Does he hate me in some way I don’t know about yet? I think I would’ve attracted less attention in my uniform.”
That reminds Buffy that Riley has government people looking for him. She asks if he really should be there. Riley pulls a radio out of his pocket that he’s made some modifications to. “It took me a while, but I patched into their frequency. Can’t sneak up on a guy if he’s listening in.”
“You’re the sneakiest,” says Buffy.
“Why they hired me.” Riley notices that Buffy is a not happy. “You okay?”
Buffy tells him that she was just a little upset by what happened with Angel, but she doesn’t want to talk about it. Riley is disappointed. Buffy tells him she just wants to get back to looking for Adam. They can talk about it later.
“It’s the pants, isn’t it?” asks Riley. “It’s okay. I couldn’t take me seriously in these things, either.” Buffy tries to tell him that it’s not that big a deal, but Riley tells her he should be going. Buffy says she doesn’t want him to leave. “It’s okay.” Riley looks down at his pants. “Besides, I have to recharge them every two hours, or they go dead.”
Xander and Anya deliver an Initiative uniform to Spike. Xander thinks that Spike should have just saved it from the last time they snuck into the Initiative. He’s not a clothing delivery service.
“Well, he is, kind of,” says Anya. “He did Riley yesterday.”
On top of the pile of clothing is something Spike finds much more interesting: it’s an automatic pistol. He picks it up, and aims it at the wall away from Xander and Anya. He really likes this. He slowly starts to swing his aim around. Xander watches him calmly. As soon as the pistol is aimed at Xander Spike is hit with a blinding headache.
“Wow,” says Anya. “That chip in your head means you can’t even point a gun? How humiliating.”
“Doesn’t work, anyway,” says Xander. “It’s a fake.”
Spike is not pleased to hear that. How’s he supposed to protect himself with a fake gun? Xander couldn’t care less.
“Attitude,” says Spike. “See how far that’ll take you in boot camp. Say, I hope you get one of those tough-as-nails drill sergeants who’s only hard on the men ’cause he’s trying to keep them alive when the bullets start flying. I love that stuff.”
“Boot camp?” asks Xander, “Yeah, like I’d go there.”
“What, you change your mind?” asks Spike. “Not going to join?”
Anya gives Xander a wack. “You’re joining the army?”
Xander looks at Anya. “Okay. One—Ow.” He turns to Spike. “Two—Where’d you get that idea?” He looks back at Anya. “Three—Ow! I’m not joining the army!”
“Good,” says Anya. “Stopped that nonsense just in time.”
“I was never—” Xander gives up on explaining to Anya, and turns back to Spike. “Who’d you hear this from?”
Spike tells him he just overheard the girls talking. “Something about being all you can be. Or all you can be. Having a laugh. Figured you were signing up.” He switches subjects back to his gun. He wonders if Xander can get him something bigger in the toy gun line.
Xander isn’t paying attention to Spike anymore. He’s too upset with what Spike has implied about what his friends think of him. “Like I’m some sort of useless lunk. It happens that I’m good at a lot of things. I help out with all kinds of…stuff. I have skills and…stratagems. I’m very… Help me out,” he tells Anya.
“He’s a viking in the sack,” says Anya.
Spike is ignoring Xander’s rant. He sniffs at the uniform, and complains that Xander didn’t wash it after the last time.
Xander still isn’t paying attention to Spike. “This is so like them lately. It’s all about them and the college life. Well, you know what college is? It’s high school, only without the actual going to class. Well…high school was kind of like that, too, but the point is, I’m out there working hard to make a living, and it’s nothing but a huge joke to them.”
“They look down on you,” says Anya.
“And they hate you,” says Xander.
“But they don’t look down on me.”
“Hey, it was just a laugh,” says Spike. “There’s no need to go insane over it.”
“Is anybody talking to you?” asks Xander.
“Sir, no, sir!” says Spike.
Buffy hunts in the woods. She’s carrying the electric taser rifle that they recovered after Professor Walsh’s attempt to kill her. She approaches the entrance to a cave. Forrest appears behind her carrying a similar weapon. Neither of them is pleased to see the other.
Forrest suggests that they just continue on their separate ways. Buffy turns away from him and starts to head toward the cave entrance. Forrest follows her. Buffy stops and turns around again. “I’m checking out that cave.”
“My orders exactly,” says Forrest.
“Alone?” asks Buffy.
“We’re spread a little thin, so yeah. Family’s tearing apart.”
“Family?” asks Buffy. “What kind of family are you, the Corleones?” She enters the cave.
Forrest follows her in. “Weren’t until you showed up.” He doesn’t like what Buffy has done to Riley. He thinks it’s all her fault that Riley has committed treason. Riley had a promising future before he met Buffy.
“A future doing what, illegal experiments?” asks Buffy. “Torture? Murder? I guess killing someone isn’t really a problem for you.”
It is getting to be less and less of a problem. Forrest suggests that Buffy get out of there before he does something about it. He takes a step toward her.
“Touch me, and you’ll find out what Slayer strength is like,” warns Buffy.
“I think it’s about time you showed me, then,” says Forrest.
“Yes,” says Adam, “I think that would be interesting.”
Buffy attacks Adam. Forrest tries to join in, but she pushes him away, and tells him to get out of there. The distraction provided by Forrest gives Adam the opportunity to grab Buffy. He throws her against one of the cave walls, and extends the skewer from his arm.
Forrest picks up his taser blaster and fires at Adam. Adam stands still, absorbing the energy. “Thank you!” he tells Forrest. Buffy yells at Forrest to go, but he doesn’t listen. He charges at Adam. Adam puts his skewer right through the middle of Forrest’s chest. He throws Forrest’s body at Buffy and knocks her down.
Adam picks up one of the taser rifles as Buffy pushes Forrest’s body off herself. He shoots Buffy as she gets back to her feet. The blast knocks her back against the cave wall. Buffy gets back to her feet as the weapon recharges. She runs out of the cave, limping as Adam fires again. This shot misses.
Buffy runs through the woods. She looks back over her shoulder to see if Adam is chasing her. She trips at the top of a hill, and rolls down it. She hits her head on a rock, and passes out.
Spike saunters up to Giles’ front door, smoking a cigarette. He pauses to put it out, takes a couple of deep breaths, and rushes into the apartment. “I think I lost the buggers!”
Giles, Willow and Tara have been waiting for him. Spike pulls some computer disks out of his pockets and hands them over to Willow. She puts the first disk into her Powerbook to see what’s on it.
Giles is pouring himself another scotch. He asks Spike if he had any problems getting in and out. Spike says he had none, but a couple of soldiers made him while he was on the way out. He took care of them.
“Gave them a good running-away-from, did you?” asks Giles.
Spike doesn’t appreciate Giles attitude. He wants to know when he gets paid. Giles says that he’ll get paid as soon as Willow tells him that Spike has brought some useful information.
Spike looks over at Willow, typing away at her keyboard, with Tara watching over her shoulder. He notices that Tara is fiddling with Willow’s hair, and quirks an eyebrow. He goes to talk to Giles. “I could’ve gone straight to the Slayer, you know. I cut you in, let you pretend you’re actually in charge. Now you’ve got to wait for Red’s permission to finish the deal?”
Giles tells Spike he’ll get paid as soon as they see what’s on the disks. Willow tells them that could take some time. The files Spike has brought are all encrypted. Spike asks if she can fix them.
“Crack a government encryption code on my laptop?” asks Willow. “Easy as really difficult pie.”
“You’re not exactly the whiz these days, either,” says Spike. “God, I’m never going to get paid.”
“I am a whiz!” says Willow
“She is a whiz!” says Tara.
“If ever a whiz there was,” says Willow. “I just need some time.”
Spike says he’s heard that she isn’t spending as much time with computers these days, since she got into the new thing.
“What new thing?” asks Willow.
“You know.” Spike points to her and Tara. “You two. The whole Wicca thing.”
Willow is surprised that her friends have been talking about her in front of Spike, but Spike tries to direct her attention back to decrypting the files. Willow wants to know what they were talking about.
“Talking about it’s a phase,” says Spike. “You’ll get over it.” Neither Willow nor Tara is pleased to hear that. Willow asks if it was Buffy who said that, but Spike says that Buffy was defending her. It was Xander who said she was just being trendy. “I don’t know what they were going on about. Person wants to be a witch, that’s their business.”
“I knew Buffy was freaked.” Willow tells Tara.
“You should talk to her,” says Tara, “’cause I’m sure—”
That is exactly what Spike doesn’t want to happen. He directs Willow’s attention back to the decryption problem.
Colonel McNamara walks through the Initiative’s cell block. All the cells are full, they are starting to double up in some of them. Some of the demons in the doubled up cells are fighting with each other. Something that doesn’t bother the colonel in the least.
He enters the Initiative’s control center. The easy time their field teams had been having lately seems to be coming to an end. Several teams in the field have encountered trouble and are calling in requesting backup.
Riley sits in his hideout in the school, listening in on his radio. One of the teams requesting help is nearby. He grabs his body armour vest and goes.
Riley arrives in the alleyway just as the last of a four man Initiative squad bounces off a wall, and falls to the ground unconscious. He shines his flashlight at the lone figure remaining on his feet. Angel turns to look at Riley.
Angel recognises Riley from his last visit to Sunnydale. “Riley Finn.”
“I know you?” asks Riley
“We have a friend in common,” says Angel.
Riley figures out who Angel is. He is not pleased to meet him. Angel suspects that the welcoming committee was Riley’s idea, since Riley’s dressed like them. The unconscious bodies of the Initiative squad lying around on the ground doesn’t look too peaceable to Riley. He suspects that Angel has lost his soul again, and he knows how that could happen. He is very not pleased with the idea.
Angel tries to leave, but Riley isn’t planning on letting him go anywhere. He steps into Angel’s path. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“Going to see an old girlfriend,” says Angel.
Riley extends his baton. “You really think I’m going to let that happen?”
Angel doesn’t think much of Riley’s chances of stopping him, but Riley doesn’t care about that. They attack each other, and trade a few blows. Angel tosses Riley aside into a pile of garbage. Riley recovers quickly, and comes back at him. He breaks a bottle over Angel’s head and slams him into the wall. Angel slams back, bounces Riley off a door a couple of times, and then gets him in a choke hold. Riley pulls a taser from his pocket and zaps Angel with it.
This annoys Angel, and he vamps out. Riley comes at him with the taser again, but Angel’s ready for him. He knocks it out of Riley’s hands and picks Riley up. He runs across the alley holding Riley over his head, and throws him down into a stack of barrels. He picks Riley up again and tosses him across the alley into a stack of metal culverts.
Angel is distracted by the sound of an Initiative humvee entering the alley, and decides it’s time for him to go. He climbs up to the rooftop of one of the buildings overlooking the alley, and escapes.
Riley picks himself up off the ground. He really doesn’t want to meet up with his former colleagues right now either, so he staggers out the other end of the alley before they spot him.
Buffy arrives back at her dorm room. She’s still not very steady on her feet. She looks at herself in her mirror and sees the gash on her forehead. While she is checking it out there’s a knock on her door. She answers it and is surprised to see Angel. She is not pleased. “Can I come in?” he asks.
“I guess,” says Buffy.
Angel doesn’t move. “I need a little more than that.”
“Oh, um, come in.” Angel walks into Buffy’s room and has a look around. Buffy notices that he’s hurt. He’s noticed the same about her.
“I’ll live,” says Buffy. “You want to tell me who ran your face into that doorknob?”
Angel declines. He’s there for something else.
“Let me guess,” says Buffy. “You thought of something else really hurtful to say, and, well, you couldn’t tell me on the phone because the funniest part is that look on my face—”
Angel tries to tell Buffy that he really doesn’t have much time, but then his time runs out.
Buffy’s door bursts open, and a very unsteady Riley Finn steps in, with his pistol drawn, and aimed at Angel. “I told you you weren’t coming near her!”
Buffy looks back and forth between Riley and Angel and figures out what they have been up to together. “You’ve got to be kidding me!” she tells Angel. “This is why you came?”
“No,” says Angel. “This was an accident.”
“Running your car into a tree is an accident!” says Buffy. “Running your fist into somebody’s face is a plan! Please explain this to me.”
Angel isn’t paying too much attention to Buffy. He’s looking at Riley. He tells Riley to put away the gun. This is not something that Riley intends to do. He tells Buffy that Angel attacked four of his men. “I think he’s up to his old tricks.”
Buffy tells Riley that Angel won’t hurt anybody, but there is someone that Angel is thinking about hurting. Riley invites him to try. Angel is not impressed. Riley can barely stand. Riley thinks his trigger finger is still feeling pretty good.
“You actually sleep with this guy?” Angel asks Buffy. Riley punches him. Before Angel can do anything more to Riley, Buffy steps between them and pushes them apart. Angel lands on Willow’s bed, and Riley bounces off her desk.
“Okay, stop it! That’s enough! I see one more display of testosterone poisoning, and I will personally put you both in the hospital.” Buffy looks back and forth between them. “Anybody think I’m exaggerating?”
Angel starts to say that Riley started it, but Buffy raises a warning finger, and he stops. Buffy turns to Riley, and tells him that she needs to talk to Angel alone for a minute.
“I’m not leaving this room.” Riley crosses his arms. “I mean it!”
Buffy looks at Angel and raises an eyebrow. She walks toward the door. Angel gets up with a bit of a smirk at Riley on his face and follows her out into the hall. He closes the door behind him.
“I’m not moving a muscle,” says Riley.
Buffy is not very happy with Angel. First she comes to L.A. to help him and he pretty much throws her out of out of “his city” and then Angel shows up in Sunnydale and starts pounding on her boyfriend. “I would really like to know what the hell are you trying to do?”
“I was trying to make things better,” says Angel.
Buffy can’t help herself. She starts to laugh. Angel joins in. “Going pretty good, don’t you think?” he asks.
“Swell,” says Buffy.
“You know, I couldn’t leave it like that,” says Angel. “The way I spoke to you— I came to apologise. I had no right.”
Buffy asks what happened with Riley, and Angel tells her that he got jumped by a bunch of soldiers. Riley came in in the middle of it, and “wasn’t real forthcoming with the benefit of the doubt.”
“Put yourself in his place,” says Buffy.
Angel understands that.
Buffy tells Angel that what he said in L.A. wasn’t entirely wrong. She had no right to barge into his life and start making judgments. Angel tells her he’s still sorry, and next time he’ll apologise by phone. That gets another small laugh from her. Angel’s noticed that things are pretty tense. He asks if there is anything he can do to help. Buffy considers the offer, but she doesn’t think so. It means a lot to her that Angel came though.
Angel starts to walk away, but stops and turns back. “Oh, and Riley?”
“Yeah?”
“I don’t like him.”
Buffy smiles. “Thank you.”
Buffy returns to her room, where Riley is still standing where she left him.
Spike walks into Adam’s lair, finishing off a can of beer. He hasn’t had so much fun in a long time. Adam asks Spike if he’s sure he was successful.
“Feel it in my bones,” says Spike. “It’s, uh…call it the Yoko factor.” Adam doesn’t seem to understand. “Don’t tell me you’ve never heard of The Beatles?”
“I have,” says Adam. “I like Helter Skelter.”2
Spike isn’t surprised. “The point is, they were once a real powerful group. It’s not a stretch to say they ruled the world. When they broke up, everyone blamed Yoko, but the fact is, the group split itself apart. She just happened to be there. But you know how it is with kids. They go off to college, they grow apart. Way of the world.”
Adam is pleased that the Slayer has been separated from her friends. Spike is pleased that Adam thinks so, and wonders when he’s getting his chip removed. “You got everything you need, right?”
“No,” says Adam. “There’s one more thing.”
Buffy asks Riley if he’s okay. Riley isn’t sure. The night isn’t over yet. Buffy tells him to sit down, there’s something she has to tell him.
Riley doesn’t want to sit. He suspects he knows what Buffy has to say, and there is something he wants to say first. He tells Buffy that if she’s about to break his heart, she should do it fast. Buffy is a little confused. She wonders how he could have gotten the idea there was still something between her and Angel. Riley tells her that he has been talking with Xander.
“Xander? Oh, he’s the deadest man in Deadonia.”
Riley tells her it wasn’t Xander’s fault. He prodded and Xander told him how Angel went bad. What the trigger was.
“Oh,” says Buffy.
Riley tells her that he went a little nuts, and then when he saw that Angel had gone bad…
“He’s…not bad.”
“Seriously? That’s a good day? Well, there you go. Even when he’s good, he’s all Mr. Billowy Coat, King of Pain, and girls really—”
“Riley, stop.” Buffy sits him down on her bed.
“See? Nuts.”
Buffy asks Riley if she has ever given her any reason to think he couldn’t trust her, and he says no. “Then why with the crazy?”
“Because I’m so in love with you I can’t think straight.”
“Tell me about it,” says Buffy, and they hug.
All of this has gotten Buffy away from what she originally wanted to tell Riley. She tells him about Forrest’s death. Riley doesn’t take it well. “I know there’s nothing that I can say that’s going to make this better, but we will find this thing and destroy it,” says Buffy.
Riley straightens up. “I have to go.”
“Are you sure?” she asks.
Riley stands and heads for her door. “I have to go now.”
Buffy watches him leave, a little puzzled.
Buffy goes to Giles’ apartment, where the rest of her friends have gathered. Willow is still working on decrypting the files. Buffy asks her how long it will take to un-crypt them.
“Hours, days maybe,” says Willow. “Anyone suggesting months would not be accused of crazy talk.”
Giles is in the kitchen pouring himself another scotch. “Whatever happened to Latin? At least when that made no sense, the church approved.” No one pays any attention to him.
Buffy isn’t pleased with Willow’s lack of progress. The disks will be useless if she doesn’t crack them soon. Anya does not appreciate Buffy’s lack of appreciation. They worked really hard getting those disks. Xander delivered clothes.
Giles recorks his scotch bottle. “Church approved!” he laughs at his own joke, since no one else did.
Buffy is trying to figure out what to do next. She suggests that she could go back to the cave, see if she can find out what Adam was doing there.
“Right,” says Willow, “And then maybe you’ll get lucky and he’ll still be there, and he can rip your arms off for you. Buffy, you can’t go back alone.”
“You never train with me anymore,” complains Giles. “He’s going to kick your ass.” Buffy is starting to wonder what’s up with him.
“So she doesn’t go alone,” says Xander. “Giles, weapons all around.” Buffy doesn’t want Xander coming either. She’s afraid he’ll get hurt. Xander isn’t pleased to hear that. Buffy and Willow can go off to do their super powers thing and leave him behind in the batcave with crusty old Alfred.
“Ahh, no,” says Giles. “I am no Alfred, sir. No, you forget. Alfred had a job.”
Buffy isn’t planning on taking anyone. She is going to do this alone. Willow still doesn’t like it. Tara is feeling pretty uncomfortable about the developing argument. She heads off down Giles’ back hallway. Xander suggests that they can help in other ways. Maybe someone needs a nice pair of combat pants delivered somewhere.
“Guys, this isn’t helping!” says Buffy. Anya gets up and follows Tara.
“Oh, wow, we’re already getting in the way,” says Willow. “We’re pretty good at this, Xander, huh?”
“Right,” says Xander. “I’m so good at it, you might have to ship me off to the army to get me out of the way!”
Buffy is wondering what the heck he’s talking about, but he doesn’t believe her. He knows they’ve been talking about that behind his back. Buffy still doesn’t know what he’s talking about, but since he’s brought the subject up, she wonders what he was doing talking about Angel with Riley. Willow doesn’t understand either. She’s the one they have been talking about.
“Uh-huh,” says Xander. “But maybe that all changes when I’m doing sit-ups over at Fort Dix.”
Giles finds that highly amusing. He chokes on his drink. “Fort Dix?” He starts to giggle.
Buffy finally figures out what’s up with Giles. “Are you drunk?”
“Yes,” says Giles. “Quite a bit, actually.”
“Well, stop it. This is stupid.”
“Stupid,” says Xander. “So you finally had the guts to say it to my face.”
“I didn’t say you were stupid, so stop being an idiot and let me fix this.” Buffy tells them that she needs all of them.
“Wait,” says Willow, “How do you need me, really?”
Buffy tells Willow that she’s good with the computer stuff, usually, and with the witch stuff.
“Witch stuff?” asks Willow. “What exactly do you mean by ‘witch stuff?’”
Buffy thinks that they are all acting a little crazy. She asks what’s happening.
Giles doesn’t think it’s crazy. It’s all starting to make perfect sense to him. He tries to sit in his desk chair, but he misses it and falls on the floor.
Anya and Tara have taken refuge in Giles’ bathroom. Tara asks how long they are going to have to stay there. Anya doesn’t know.
Tara looks around. “Nice bathroom.”
“Like the tile,” says Anya.
Xander is beginning to think maybe he should join the army. They might give him something to do that can’t be done by a well trained border collie. Giles announces he’s going to bed and heads off up his stairs. He pulls off his sweater as he goes. Willow wonders if the umbilical cord between Xander and Anya could stretch far enough.
“I knew it,” says Xander. “I knew you hated her!” Giles tosses his sweater down from the loft, and it lands on Xander’s head.
Willow doesn’t think she’s being judgmental. She’ll leave that to Xander and Buffy.
“Judgmental?” asks Buffy. “If I was any more open-minded about the choices you two make, my whole brain would fall out.”
“Oh, and superior.” Xander says to Willow. “Don’t forget that.” He looks at Buffy. “Just because you’re better than us doesn’t mean you can be all superior.”
Buffy is still confused. She wants to know what happened to them today.
“It’s not today. Buffy,” says Willow. “Things have been wrong for a while. Don’t you see that?” Buffy asks her what she means. “Well, they certainly haven’t been right since Tara. We have to face it: you can’t handle Tara being my girlfriend.”
“No!” says Xander. “It was bad before that! Since you two went off to college and forgot about me. Just left me in the basement to—” Willow’s last comment finally registers with him. He turns and looks at her. “Tara’s your girlfriend?”
“Bloody hell!” says Giles from the loft.
Buffy has had enough of this. She demands that they tell her how they can help. Xander and Willow aren’t so sure that they want to help her anymore.
“No! No,” says Buffy. “You said you wanted to go. So let’s go, all of us. We’ll walk into that cave with you two attacking me and the funny drunk drooling on my shoe. Hey! Maybe that’s the secret way to killing Adam!”
“Buffy…” says Willow.
“Is that it?” asks Buffy. “Is that how you can help? You’re not answering me! How can you possibly help? So… I guess I’m starting to understand why there’s no ancient prophecy about a Chosen One and her friends. If I need help, I’ll go to someone I can count on.” Buffy turns away from them and walks out of Giles’ apartment.
Adam is working at the computers in his lair when someone walks in. “I’ve been waiting for you.”
“And now I’m here,” says Riley.
| Who or What | Where | How |
|---|---|---|
| Forrest Gates | Adam’s cave | Skewered by Adam |