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Who Are You?

Prologue

Note: Just who’s who gets a little complicated in this episode. In my descriptions I try to use the current character’s point of view. If Willow thinks she is looking at Buffy I will say “Willow looks at Buffy.” But for description of what Faith is doing while she’s using Buffy’s body I call her “Faith.”

The Summers’ front yard is full of cops. Buffy—in Faith’s body—is strapped in a gurney. She’s starting to come around as they load her into an ambulance. She gets a vague look at her mother, standing beside herself.

Faith—in Buffy’s body—sees that Buffy is waking up. She takes Joyce’s hand in hers, and smiles at Buffy.

Detective Clark goes to talk with Joyce and Buffy. He thanks Joyce for calling. He tells them that Faith will be taken to the hospital, and checked out there. As soon as the doctors let her go she’s going to jail.

“I just hope she gets some kind of help,” says Joyce.

“First thing is to keep her from hurting anybody else,” says Clark. He tells them that he may come by in the morning to ask them some more questions. “Thank you both. I’m glad we finally got the kid.”

“She’s not a kid!” says Faith, and gets a look of surprise from Clark. “I just mean that she’s very strong.”

“Yeah,” says Clark, “This Faith chick—definitely dangerous.”

Faith watches the ambulance leave, and smiles. “She truly is.” She turns to follow Joyce back into the house.

Act I

Faith walks into the living room and looks around at the wreckage from her fight with Buffy.

“Faith!” says Joyce.

Faith spins around, thinking she’s been discovered, but Joyce continues talking. “Why do you think she’s like that?”

“You know,” says Faith, “she’s a nut job.”

“I just don’t understand what could drive a person to that kind of behaviour.”

“Well, how do you know she got drove?” asks Faith, “I mean, maybe she likes being that way.”

“I’ll never believe that,” says Joyce. “I think she’s horribly unhappy.”

“Well, could be things are looking up. I mean, a little stint in the pokey, show her the error of her ways. I’m sure there’s some big old Bertha just waiting to shower her ripe little self with affection.” Joyce is shocked by her daughter’s attitude. “I’m sorry, Mom. It’s just…when I think about how she might’ve hurt you, I just…I can’t stand it.”

Joyce gives Buffy a hug. Faith doesn’t want to be hugged. She pulls away, surprising Joyce again. Faith explains it away as being sore from the fight.

Joyce is happy that Buffy is there. She hasn’t seen her for a while. She suggests that she and Buffy should spend some time together soon. “Some night when I’m not being held hostage by a raving psychotic.”

“Count on it,” says Faith. “I’m going to take a bath.”

Faith luxuriates in a bubble bath, checking out her new body. It meets with her approval.

After finishing her bath, Faith checks herself in the mirror. Trying out various facial expressions, and practicing her “Buffy” lines. “Why, yes, I would be Buffy. May I help you? … You can’t do that. It’s wrong. … You can’t do that, because it’s naughty.”

Faith tries out several more versions of “Because it’s wrong,” from strongly assertive to whispered gently. Then she laughs.

It takes several orderlies and cops to hold Buffy down in the hospital while a doctor injects her with a sedative. “Let go! I have to go home! She’s with my mother! No!” They don’t pay any attention to her raving. “You don’t understand! She’s taken my body!”

The sedative takes effect, and Buffy passes out.

Willow is hiding out from Faith in Tara’s room. She's worried. She doesn’t like not knowing what’s happening. Buffy can take care of herself but Willow’s afraid that Faith might hurt somebody else.

“Well, you should be safe,” says Tara. “Nobody knows you’re here. I mean, they don’t even know I exist, right? I know all about them, but—”

“Hey—”

“I mean, that’s totally cool. I mean, it’s good. It’s better.”

“Tara, it’s not like I don’t want my friends to know you. It’s just…well, Buffy’s like my best friend, and she’s really special. And there’s this whole bunch of us, and we sort of have this group thing that revolves around the Slaying, and—and I really want you to meet them. But I—I just kind of like having something that’s just, you know, mine. And I usually don’t use so many words to say stuff that little, but do you get it at all?”

“I do,” says Tara.

“I should check in with Giles. Get a situation update.” Willow goes to Tara’s phone.

“I am, you know,” says Tara.

“What?”

“Yours.”

Faith has found some clothes that suit her style in Buffy’s closet, including a pair of black leather pants. She also finds Buffy’s passport while going through Buffy’s drawers. “Score!”

Faith moves on to Joyce’s room, where she finds Joyce’s purse. She sits on the bed and uses Joyce’s credit card to book herself onto the first available international flight out of Sunnydale airport at 10 AM the next morning. She takes all the cash out of the wallet and puts it back into the purse.

“What are you doing?” asks Joyce.

Faith looks around and sees Joyce standing in the door. Buffy’s body blocks Joyce’s view of her purse. She picks up the pile of Buffy’s mail from the bed and shows it to Joyce. “Oh, just getting my mail.”

“Oh,” says Joyce, “That was Giles on the other line. He wanted you to meet your friends there. Said he had news.”

Faith considers that for a couple of seconds. “Yeah. I got some time to kill. I’ll go see the gang. All my friends.” She gets up off the bed and heads over to Joyce’s dresser. She picks up a lipstick. “You don’t mind if I steal this, right?”

“Is that the Harlot?”

Faith takes a look at it, “Yeah.”

“That’s the same one Faith picked.”

Faith tosses the lipstick to Joyce. “Burn it.”

Buffy starts to wake up in the back of a police car. Detective Clark is in the front seat with the uniformed officer who’s driving. He’s surprised she’s waking up so soon. He tells the officer to hurry up. He wants Faith in a cell before she’s fully conscious.

An armoured car suddenly pulls out of a side street in front of the police car. The police car smashes into it.

Two of the men who had visited Giles jump out of the back of the armoured car. One armed with a silenced pistol, the second with a crowbar. While the man with the pistol covers the two cops in the front seat to make sure that they don’t interfere, the second smashes the back window of the police car and pulls Buffy out. “By order of the Watcher’s Council, you are being taken into custody until such time—”

“Skip the speech,” says the man with the gun. “Let’s go.” They toss Buffy into the back of the armoured car, and get in after her.

Act II

Faith arrives in Giles’ apartment and has a look around. “The Scooby Gang’s all here. Willow, Xander, and…” She sees Anya with Xander, but she has no idea who she is. “…everybody. What’s up?” She sits on Giles’ desk.

Giles tells Buffy it’s about Faith.

“Didn’t Joyce tell you?” asks Faith. “I already kicked that ass.”

“I feel a high five coming on!” says Xander.

Willow wants to know where Faith is, and Faith tells them that she is on her way to jail. She handed her over to the cops an hour ago.

“Unless I am mistaken Faith is no longer in police custody,” says Giles.

That worries Faith. She gets off the desk. “What are you talking about?”

“The Watcher’s Council,” says Giles. “They, uh, sent a retrieval team to capture Faith.”

“Well, yeah,” says Faith, “I mean, ’cause it worked so well when Wesley tried it.”

Giles thinks that things might go a bit differently this time. “This is a special operations unit. They, uh, handle the council’s trickier jobs— smuggling, interrogation, uh, wet works.”

“What’s wet works?” asks Willow.

“Scuba-type stuff,” says Xander.

“I thought it was murder,” says Anya.

Xander tries to cover. “Well, yeah, but there could be underwater murder, with snorkels.”

Giles tells them that the Council team will be taking Faith back to England. Faith is pleased to hear that. She starts to laugh. It takes her a while to get control of herself. “I’m sorry. It’s just…I’m happy. Faith is evil.”

“Yeah,” says Willow. “I hope they throw the book at her.”

Giles doesn’t think that the Council has a book for this. Willow suggests they could throw other things.

Faith looks a Willow. “I forgot how much you don’t like Faith.”

“After what she’s done to you?” asks Willow, “Ooh, I wish those Council guys would let me have an hour alone in the room with her. If I was larger and had grenades.”

“I bet I know what Faith would say to that,” says Faith. She has a quick fantasy about gutting Willow with a knife.

Willow notices Buffy’s distraction, and asks if anything is wrong.

“I’d never let her hurt you,” says Faith.

Anya is a little upset that Giles called them all there just to tell them that everything’s fine. She and Xander had a big night planned. “We were going to light a bunch of candles and have sex near them.”

“Well, we certainly don’t want to cut into that seven minutes,” says Faith.

“Hey!” says Anya.

Xander looks at Anya. “I believe that’s my ‘hey.’” He turns to Buffy. “Hey!”

Faith tells him to lighten up. Everything is cool, they are out of danger. She starts to head for the door.

Giles reminds Buffy that they still have Adam to take care of. Faith covers up that she has no idea what or who Giles is talking about. “Well, don’t worry about it. I’ll patrol tonight, as long as it takes. You guys have your fun. I’ll be out there doing my job.”

Faith’s idea of “doing my job” seems to be partying at the Bronze. She’s there having a good time, dancing with every cute guy in the place. She runs into Spike when she’s leaving the dance floor. She has no idea who he is. Spike thinks that Buffy’s there to check up on him, and give him a hard time.

“Do I usually give you a hard time?” asks Faith.

“Very funny,” says Spike, “Well, you don’t have to worry about me drinking, unless you’re here to protect innocent beers.” He shows her the bottle in his hand and turns and starts to walk away.

Faith is a little taken aback. “You’re a vampire!”

“Was. And as soon as I get this chip out of my head, I’ll be a vampire again. But until then, I’m just as helpless as a kitten up a tree, so why don’t you sod off?”

“Okay.” Faith turns away from Spike and heads back toward the dance floor.

“Oh, fine!” says Spike. “Throw it in my face! ‘Spike’s not a threat anymore. I’ll turn my back. He can’t hurt me.’”

“Spike…” Faith turns and walks back up to him. “Spike.” She smiles. “William the Bloody with a chip in his head. I kind of love this town.”

“You know why I really hate you, Summers?”

“’Cause I’m a stuck-up tight-ass with no sense of fun?” asks Faith.

Spike is somewhat nonplused “Well, yeah, that covers a lot of it.”

“’Cause I could do anything I want, and instead, I choose to pout and whine and feel the burden of Slayerness? I mean, I could be rich, I could be famous, I could have anything. Anyone.” Faith steps up close to Spike and puts her hands on his chest. She pushes him back against a pillar. “Even you, Spike. I could ride you at a gallop until your legs buckled and your eyes rolled up. I’ve got muscles you’ve never even dreamed of. I could squeeze you until you popped like warm champagne, and you’d beg me to hurt you just a little bit more. And you know why I don’t? Because it’s wrong.” Faith laughs, and turns away from him.

“I get this chip out,” says Spike, “you and me are going to have a confrontation.”

“Count on it.” Faith walks away.

Spike shatters his beer bottle against the wall and storms off. He pushes a couple of pool players out of his way, which gives him a splitting headache.

A group of four vampires return to their lair in the sewers. Their hunt tonight has been unsuccessful. It was too crowded for them to pick anyone off. Their leader is planning to go back out later, and maybe pick up a drunk. He notices they are not alone.

Adam steps out of the shadows. He tells them he has been thinking about vampires. The head vamp is not pleased to see an intruder in his place.

“Your place. Yes,” say Adam. “The sewers. You hide from them, crawl about in their filth, scavenging like rats. What do you fear?”

“Kill this guy already.” The head vampire tells one of his minions. It rushes forward to attack Adam.

Adam grabs the vampire by the neck, and holds it as it struggles. “You fear the cross. The sun. Fire. And oh yes…” He rips off the vampire’s head and drops it and the body to the ground where they disintegrate. “I believe decapitation is a problem as well.”

The head vampire re-evaluates the situation, and decides that if Adam wants to have this place, he can have it. That isn’t what Adam has in mind. “You fear death. Being immortal, you fear it more than those to whom it comes naturally. Vampires are a paradox. Demon in a human body. You walk in both worlds and belong to neither. I can relate.” Adam puts his hand on the vampire’s shoulder. “Come. We have a lot to talk about.”

Buffy wakes up with manacles on her wrists in the back of the armoured car, which is parked in a warehouse. The man who’d pulled Buffy from the police car—Weatherby—has been waiting for her to wake up. He tells her that they are from the Council and she is being taken back to the mother country.

Buffy tries telling him that they have made a mistake. She isn’t Faith, she’s Buffy Summers. Faith somehow switched their bodies.

“Congratulations,” says Collins, the leader of the trio from the Council. “No one’s ever actually tried that one on me before.” He doesn’t really care who she claims she is. She is just a package that he has been ordered to deliver. He doesn’t care what’s in it. He leaves.

Weatherby isn’t quite as magnanimous. “He may not care, but I do. The Watcher’s Council used to mean something. You perverted it. You trash. We should have killed you while you were asleep.” He spits in her face, and gets out of the back of the truck. He locks the doors behind him.

Willow and Tara enter the Bronze. Willow is surprised that Tara has never been there before. The Bronze is coolest hangout in town, with the vending machine at Bergin’s coming a close second. She tells Tara that she used to practically live there, along with Xander and Buffy. She’s surprised to see that Buffy is there tonight, with a bunch of guys who are chugging beers. She decides that it is time for Buffy and Tara to meet.

Willow walks up to Faith and introduces her to Tara. Faith is a little relieved when she realizes that this new girl with Willow is someone she isn’t supposed to know already. Faith heads over to one of the Bronze’s sofas and sits down.

Willow wonders why Buffy isn’t out patrolling. Faith tells her that she just had to blow off some steam after the whole Faith deal. Willow thinks that’s a good idea. She offers to go get soda’s for everyone. Tara just wants a water.

Faith watches Tara watching Willow as Willow goes off for the drinks. She leans forward. “So you guys been hanging out a lot lately, huh?”

“Yeah,” says Tara. “She’s, um, she’s really cool.”

Faith is amused by what she’s noticed. “So, Willow’s not driving stick anymore. Who would have thought? I guess you never really know someone until you’ve been inside their skin.”

Tara becomes very uncomfortable.

“And Oz is out of the picture?” asks Faith. “Oh, never seen two people so much in love. She just couldn’t get enough of old Oz.”

“She, um, said he, uh, uh, w-w-w-w—we—”

“He w-w-w-w-what?” asks Faith. “You going to get that sentence out sometime tonight?”

Willow returns without their drinks. She points out a guy she spotted to Buffy. He’s heading towards the back of the Bronze with a girl.

“Yeah. Good call.” Faith leans back in the sofa, but doesn’t make any other move.

“What?” asks Tara.

“Vampire,” says Willow.

“He’s wicked obvious.” Faith’s still not doing anything. She notices Willow’s expectant look at her. “So…I should slay him.” She gets up. Willow asks if she needs any help, but Faith says she’s got it covered. She follows the vampire and the girl toward the back hallway. She grabs a pool cue off one of the tables as she passes it.

Faith finds the vampire has already started to feed off the girl when she arrives in the back hallway. She breaks the pool cue in half, and whacks the vampire on the back of it’s head with one of the pieces. “Hey!”

The vampire drops the girl and turns to face this new annoyance. Faith quickly stakes it.

The girl kneels on the floor, dazed and confused. Her neck is bleeding. She turns to look at Faith.

Faith looks down at her. “You’ll live.”

“He was so strong,” she sobs.

“Yeah, well, he’s gone now.”

“Thank you.” The girl looks up at Faith and takes her hand. “Thank you!”

Faith is disturbed by her reaction. “Yeah. It’s cool.” She heads back into the main section of the Bronze.

Willow is waiting for her. Faith tells her that the vampire has been taken care of. Willow says that Tara isn’t feeling well, so she’s going to walk her home.

“Yeah,” says Faith. “You give her whatever she needs.”

Willow wants to know if Buffy is going to be coming back to their room tonight, or if she is going over to Riley’s.

Faith likes that idea.

Buffy is making a terrible racket in the back of the armoured car. The third member of the Watcher team—Smith—is getting fed up with it. He gets a syringe out of a bag and climbs into the back of the truck with her.

Buffy grabs Smith, and wraps her chains around his throat. “How about this? I’ll be quiet, and you can scream.”

Smith yells for help.

Collins and Weatherby arrive quickly at the door to the armoured car. Collins is carrying his gun. Buffy holds Smith in front of her as a shield and orders them to release her, or she’ll kill him.

“When we go on a job, we always put our affairs in order first, in case of accident,” says Collins. “Sorry Smithy.” He and Weatherby walk away from the armoured car.

Buffy is starting to bother Collins. He’s beginning to doubt if they’ll be able to smuggle her out of the country as planned. It’s time to phone home to see if they should implement the contingency plan.

Buffy kicks Smith out of the armoured car. She doesn’t like what she has overheard Collins and Weatherby saying.

Riley is working on some papers at his desk in his room when he hears the door open behind him. He turns around and sees Buffy leaning against the doorframe, playing with her hair.

“Hi Baby!” says Faith.

Act III

Willow and Tara arrive back at Tara’s room. Willow is sorry that Tara isn’t feeling well, but she’s glad that Tara has finally met Buffy. She thinks Tara will really like her.

“She’s not your friend,” says Tara.

“I may have over estimated the ‘you liking her’ factor,” says Willow.

That isn’t what Tara meant. She doesn’t think Buffy was Buffy. She sensed something fragmented about her aura, plus she was kind of mean.

Willow asks if Tara thinks Buffy is possessed or something, but Tara isn’t sure. “You didn’t sense a hyena energy at all, did you?” asks Willow, “Because hyena possession is just…unpleasant.”

Tara isn’t sure what she sensed, but she knows how to find out. There is a ritual that will allow Willow to pass into the nether realm, and once there she should be able to see what has happened to Buffy. It’s a risky procedure though, and Tara will have to be Willow’s anchor in the real world.

“I trust you,” says Willow.

“It’s not like anything that we’ve ever—”

“I trust you!”

“You miss me?” Faith asks Riley.

“I did, actually,” says Riley. “Everything’s okay?”

Faith tells Riley that everything is great. He wants to know about Faith. She tells him that Faith has won a fabulous trip to England, while she has won the consolation prize. She straddles his lap.

“So I don’t have to worry about Faith showing up?” asks Riley. “I have to admit, I was kind of curious to meet her.” Faith has been giving him a lap dance. “Or I was until about 30 seconds ago.”

“Oh, you wouldn’t have liked Faith. She’s not proper and joyless, like a girl should be. She has a tendency to give in to her animal instincts.” Faith nibbles on Riley’s lip.

“Door’s open,” says Riley.

“So?” asks Faith.

“So my fantasies don’t tend to include a bunch of marines staring in at me.”

“Oh, maybe they could learn something.” Faith kisses him.

Riley doesn’t want an audience, so he lifts Faith off his lap, gets up and heads for the door.

Faith notices that Riley is favouring his side. “You’re hurt.”

Riley tells Buffy that he’s healing pretty quick, as he closes the door and turns back to her.

“Maybe we should take you for a test drive,” says Faith. Riley likes that idea. Faith crawls onto his bed, “So, how do you want me? What do you want to do with this body? What nasty little desire have you been itching to try out? Am I a bad girl? Do you want to hurt me?”

Riley is a little confused by Buffy’s behaviour. “What are we playing at here?”

“I’m Buffy.”

Riley sits down in front of Buffy and takes Faith’s hands in his. “Ok. Then I’ll be Riley.”

“Well, if you don’t want to play.” Faith starts to get off the bed.

Riley grabs Buffy’s arm and pulls her back. “Right. I don’t want to play.” He kisses her gently.

Willow and Tara begin their spell. They sit on the floor, side by side, facing in opposite directions and begin to chant.

“The inward eye, the sightless sea.
Ayala flows through the river in me.”

They repeat it over and over. They sweep their outer hands back and forth in an arc, in time with their chanting, and a glowing ring of light forms around them.

Willow and Tara stop chanting but continue to breath heavily. They raise their inner hands and place them together, palm to palm. The ring of light rises around them.

Willow falls back. Her head lands on a pillow which they had set there to catch it. She gasps, and arches her back.

Riley lies on top of Faith in his darkened room. He gently strokes her hair. “I love you.”

Faith is bothered by that. “Get off.” Riley pulls away a bit, confused. “No. No. No. Get off!” She pushes at him. “Off me. Get off!”

“Buffy—”

“No, no. Get—” Faith pushes Riley away and jumps out of bed.

“Buffy…what? What’s wrong?”

“Who are you?” asks Faith, “What do you want from…her?”

Riley is confused. “Should I not have—”

“This is meaningless,” says Faith.

“You’re shaking.” Riley gets out of bed, and wraps the sheet around Buffy’s shoulders. “What happened?” He strokes her hair.

“Nothing,” says Faith. “Nothing.”

Adam talks to the vampires in the sewers. “I have a gift no man has. No demon has ever had. I know why I’m here. I was created to kill, to extinguish life wherever I find it. And I have accepted that responsibility. You have lived in fear and desperation because you didn’t have that gift. But it’s time to face your fear.”

“Tell us what to do,” says the leader of the vampires. They are ready to do whatever Adam tells them.

“Then ask yourself,” says Adam, “What is it? More than man, more than anything else, what is the thing you fear?”

Faith gets dressed in Riley’s room next morning while he sleeps. She puts on one of his shirts. It’s 8:25. Time for her to leave to catch her flight.

Forrest sees Faith as she’s heading for the front door to Lowell House. “I hope you left him alive.” Faith turns around a little confused. “Boy’s supposed to be on the mend. I don’t see you letting him get much rest.”

Faith tells Forrest that he should just mind his own business.

“We’ve got a mission here,” says Forrest, “Back when Riley could still think for himself—”

“You’ve got a mission?” asks Faith, “I’ve been fighting demons since before you could shave.”

“Yeah,” says Forrest. “You’re a killer.”

“I am not a killer.” Faith steps toward him. “I am the Slayer. And you don’t know the first thing about me.”

“You really care what I think?” asks Forrest.

Faith shakes her head. She doesn’t understand why she’s bothering to argue with this guy. “No. I don’t care. God, I don’t care.” She walks out.

Collins gets off the phone from the Council. They can’t arrange passage out of the country for them, and they have ordered that Faith be killed. Weatherby goes to get a gas can to torch the warehouse to cover up the evidence while Collins puts the silencer on his gun. He goes to the back of the armoured car.

Smith doesn’t like this. “She could’ve killed me! She didn’t.”

Collins doesn’t care, he has his orders. He sticks the gun through the bars in the window in the back of the armoured car.

Buffy is lying stretched out on the floor of the car. She reaches up with her feet, grabs Collins’ hand with them and pulls it toward her. Collins’ head smashes into the back of the armoured car and he falls to the floor unconscious. Smith calls for Weatherby.

Buffy uses her feet to pull the dropped gun up to where she can grab it, and uses it to shoot the chains free from her wrists. She shoots the lock off the door separating her from the driver’s compartment.

Buffy finds the keys, and starts the engine while Weatherby rushes toward the driver’s side door to try to get at her. Buffy smashes the door open in his face, and knocks him to the floor. She puts the armoured car into drive, and starts moving. Smith takes a few shots at it as she smashes through the warehouse doors, but they don’t penetrate the armour.

Act IV

Faith picks up her boarding pass at the airport ticket counter. She’s changed into some of Buffy’s clothes, and has a duffle bag slung over her shoulder.

Giles is bringing some dirty dishes down from his bedroom when Buffy bursts into his apartment. Giles freezes.

“Don’t move,” says Buffy as Giles looks around for a weapon he can grab. He doesn’t see one. “Okay, Giles, you have to listen to me very carefully. I’m not Faith.”

“Really?” asks Giles.

“Really.”

“’Cause the resemblance is striking.” Giles tries to inch his way toward his weapons trunk while Buffy tries to tell him what happened.

Buffy sees what he’s doing. “Stop inching. You were inching.”

“Look,” says Giles, “I know what you’re going to say, and—”

“I’m Buffy.”

“All right, I didn’t know what you were going to say,” says Giles, “but that doesn’t make you any less crazy.”

“Faith switched,” says Buffy. “I mean, she had some device. She switched our bodies. Giles, I swear…It’s me.”

Giles is unconvinced, but is willing to play along. “Um, if you are Buffy…” He puts his dirty dishes down on his desk. “…then, um…then you’ll let me tie you up without killing me, until we find out whether you’re telling the truth.” He cautiously steps toward her.

“Giles, Faith has taken my body, and for all I know, she’s taken it to Mexico by now,” says Buffy. “I don’t have time for bondage fun. Ask me a question. Ask me anything.”

“Who’s president?” asks Giles.

“We’re checking for Buffy, not a concussion.”

“Oh, yes, right. Um…” Giles starts trying to think of some Buffy questions.

Giles is taking too long for Buffy. “Giles, you turned into a demon, and I knew it was you. I mean, can’t you just look in my eyes and be all intuitive?”

“How did I turn into a demon?”

“Oh, ’cause, uh, Ethan Rayne,” says Buffy. “And you have a girlfriend named Olivia…” Giles eyebrows go up at that. “…and you haven’t had a job since we blew up the school, which is valid lifestyle-wise. I mean, it’s not like you’re a slacker-type, but— Oh, oh! When I had psychic power, I heard my Mom think that you were like a stevedore during sex. Do you want me to continue?”

Giles has heard quite enough. “Actually, I beg you to stop.”

“What’s a stevedore?” asks Buffy.

Giles wants Buffy to tell him everything, but she doesn’t have time for that. They have to find Faith.

Willow and Tara burst in, looking for Giles. Willow sees Buffy and stops. “Oh my god!”

“Willow, wait. You don’t understand,” says Buffy.

“You’re Buffy,” says Willow. “You and Faith switched bodies, probably through a Draconian Katra spell.”

“She understands it better than I do,” says Giles.

Willow introduces them to Tara, and tells them how Tara had sensed there was something wrong when she met the other Buffy, and about her trip into the nether realm to learn what had happened. She also has something else. She holds out a small wooden box containing a glowing green orb. “It’s a Katra. Or the home-conjured version. It should switch you back, if you can get ahold of Faith.” Buffy is greatly relieved.

The phone rings, and Giles goes to answer it. It’s Xander. He tells Giles to turn on his TV.

Giles goes to the TV and turns it on. There is a news report about a hostage situation currently taking place at a Sunnydale church. “One of the few who escaped described the three men as frighteningly disfigured,” says the reporter. “Almost inhuman. So far, one escapee has since died of severe neck wounds.”

Buffy realizes that looking for Faith is going to have to be put on hold for a little while.

Faith watches the same news report while waiting for her flight at the airport. The assailants have vowed to kill everyone inside if the police try to storm the church.

The head vampire walks up and down the aisle inside the church while the hostages look on in fear. They are guarded by the other two vampires. “It’s hard to believe. I’ve been avoiding this place for so many years, and it’s nothing. It’s nice! It’s got the pretty windows, the pillars. Lots of folks to eat. Where’s the thing I was so afraid of? You know, the Lord? He was supposed to be here. He gave us this address. Well, we’ll just have to start killing off his people, see if he shows up.”

A police sergeant gets off the phone from his superiors outside the church. Riley—dressed in a suit—wants to know what they had to say. The cop reluctantly tells him that he has been told to defer command to Riley. Riley orders him to wait until the rest of his team arrives. The cops are not prepared to deal with what’s inside.

He walks up to the church and starts to have a look around. He’s a little surprised when he sees Buffy arrive.

“How many are in there?” asks Faith.

“We think there’s three,” says Riley.

“I can do three.” Faith heads toward the front door. Riley tries to stop her. He tells her to wait for the troops to arrive, they’re still mobilizing. Faith wonders how he responded so quickly.

“I didn’t,” says Riley. “I was just late for church.”

Faith doesn’t want to wait. She’s going in now. Riley tries to stop her again.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” says Faith. “I’m Buffy. I have to do this.”

“Then I’m coming with,” says Riley. Faith looks at him for a bit and then pokes him in his injured side. “Ow!”

“I can’t use you. Someone comes out, you get ’em to safety.” Faith turns and walks toward the door. “Unless they’ve got fangs.”

Faith closes the church door behind her and walks up the aisle, passing the vampire who had been guarding the door. It steps behind her.

The head vampire pushes aside the man he was just about to eat, and steps toward Faith. “I told the cops, they send any one in, I start the whole massacre thing.”

“Well, I’m not the cops,” says Faith, “I just come to pray.”

“Now’s a good time to start,” says the vampire.

“You’re not going to kill these people.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s wrong.” This time Faith sounds like she means it, not just imitating the way she thinks Buffy would say it.

The vampire behind Faith attacks. She grabs it and tosses it across a couple of pews. It smashes into a pillar.

“You’re the Slayer,” says the head vampire.

“The one and only,” says Faith.

Giles drives the armoured car up outside the church and Buffy, Willow and Tara jump out of the back. They are met by a cop who doesn’t plan on letting them get any closer.

Giles steps up to the cop and starts waving his arms around and shouting at him. “Damn it, man, we have to get inside! Our, um, uh…our families are in there! Our, um, mothers and tiny, tiny babies!”

Buffy uses the distraction to slip away.

“You think we’re afraid of you?” asks the vampire. “We’re not afraid of anything anymore.”

“Then let all these people go,” says Faith, “and all three of you can take me on.”

“I got a better idea.” The vampire swings a punch at her. Faith was expecting it, and blocks it easily. She responds with a few kicks and punches of her own. The other two vampires start to move in on her, and she turns to face them too. The people in the church use the opportunity to run for the exits.

Faith breaks a piece of wood off the back of one of the pews, and uses it to stake one of the vampires. Now that the odds are only two to one, a second vamp decides that it’s time to make a break for it. It grabs a robe to protect itself from the sunlight and runs out the front door, and straight into Riley.

Riley and the vampire wrestle briefly, until Riley pulls the robe off it and pushes the vampire out into the sunlight. The vampire instantly bursts into flames, and vanishes.

“You forgot your coat,” says Riley to the ashes.

Buffy has seen Riley’s fight with the vampire and runs up to him and gives him a hug.

Riley is somewhat surprised to have this strange brunette girl hugging him all of a sudden. He thinks she must be an escapee from the church. “Oh. It’s okay, Miss. Just get yourself out of harm’s way.”

“Riley, it’s me!” Buffy realizes that she doesn’t have time to explain everything to him. “Never mind. How many are in there?”

“Well…” Riley starts to answer, and then stops. “Who are you?”

Faith tries to stake the remaining vampire, but it blocks her, and knocks her stake away. It punches her, and forces her back against the pews. “I have strength you couldn’t dream of.” It hits her again. “Adam has shown me the way, and there is nothing—” It stops, and vanishes in a cloud of dust.

Faith sees Buffy holding a stake standing behind where the vampire had been. They stand and stare at each other for a few seconds, and then Faith goes berserk. She attacks Buffy.

Buffy and Faith trade kicks and punches. Buffy is mostly just defending herself. She doesn’t want to damage her own body too much. “You can’t win this,” she tells Faith.

“Shut up!” yells Faith. “Do you think I’m afraid of you?” She grabs Buffy, tosses her to the floor and gets on top of her. She punches her over and over. “You’re nothing! Disgusting, murderous bitch!” She grabs Buffy by the hair and starts beating her head against the floor. “You’re nothing! You’re disgusting!” She goes back to punching Buffy.

Buffy grabs Faith’s hand in her own, and there’s a flash of light. They are suddenly back in their own bodies. Buffy pulls away from Faith, and watches as Faith realizes what has happened. Faith crawls away, gets to her feet, and runs from the church. Buffy watches her go, and feels herself, reassuring herself that she is back in the right body.

Epilogue

Buffy and Riley are together in his room. She’s sitting on his bed, and talking to Giles on the phone. Buffy gets off the phone. She tells Riley that Faith has vanished, and the Council guys have cleared out too.

Riley is pretty confused about what Buffy has told him. He doesn’t understand how it’s possible.

“Magic,” says Buffy.

“There was something.” Riley sits in a chair, shaking his head. “I should’ve picked up on it. I should’ve just…”

Buffy looks at Riley, and realizes what happened between him and Faith. “You slept with her.”

Riley looks up at Buffy. “I slept with you.”

Buffy doesn’t know how she feels about that. She gets up and starts toward the door, but she stops, and turns back to him.

“Man, would I like to get my hands on her,” says Riley. “Not in a sex way.”

“I don’t think she’s coming back.”

“Guess she’s had her fun,” says Riley.

“Yeah,” says Buffy, “Fun.”

Faith sits alone in a freight car in a train bound out of town.

Death Toll