your stars by MYSTIC
MILLIE
CAPRICORN (December 22-January 20)
Jupiter is in the sky. It is written in the stars that it is not
your birthday this month. Therefore if somebody offers you a gift, then it is
probably for another reason. Do not be alarmed.
AQUARIUS (January 21-Febuary 18)
Venus is having tea with a friend of yours at some stage this month, and it may
rain next February
PISCES (February 19-March 20)
The hills may, or may not be alive with the sound of music, regardless of what
Julie Andrews says
ARIES (March 21-April 20)
Do not steal cake to eat the moon as the first line of the 'classic' Spandau Ballet
'anthem', 'INSTINCTION' instructs. This could prove to be hazardous to your health
as it's a bit lumpy. And it's silly.
TAURUS (April 21-May 21)
The moon is in your back garden. Please ask it to move, as there's a couple of
bin bags that really need to be put out in the street for the lovely binmen to
collect. They stink (the bags, not the binmen).
GEMINI (May 22-June 21)
Mars is in Sainsbury's. By the tills, second shelf down
CANCER (June 22-July 22)
If phoning a friend this month, it is vital that you be very careful to dial the
numbers in the correct order. If you don't, the results could be catastrophic
- you could end up talking to a complete stranger.
LEO (July 23-August 24)
An aquaintance of yours who has a vowel somewhere in their name may try to contact
you this week. Try to act surprised, otherwise they may get suspicious.
VIRGO (August 24-September 22)
If somebody you know tells you to 'keep your eyes peeled', it might be a good
idea not to do this literally as it could cause you some pain.
LIBRA (September 23-October 23)
If you are planning some space travel this month, you may find it wise to receive
some training beforehand
SCORPIO (October 24-November 22)
A word of warning this month: Belgium will NOT win this years Eusovision Song
Contest. You have been warned!!!
SAGGITARIUS (November 23-December 21)
Problems with Uranus are written in the stars for you this month. Best go and
see Urdoctor.
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