A page of helpful (we hope!) suggestions for that wedding poem you've got to write.
This page is available online at http://homepage.mac.com/drewthaler/poem-help.html
Are you feeling a little nervous about having to write a poem? Worried because the bride's an English teacher? Afraid you're going to look bad in front of everyone?
Fear not. It's easy.
We don't want fancy-shmancy, perfectly rhymed, flowery Hallmark-card kinds of poems. We want a collection of images and details, things you remember, put together in a way that feels right.
Poems aren't paragraphs; they're collections of thoughts. There is no way you can write a bad poem except by trying too hard. If it comes from your heart, it'll be all right.
Has it been a while since you've read a poem? Here's a typical poem by Billy Collins, who is the Poet Laureate of the US. (That's a big deal if you're a poet; not so big a deal if you're anyone else in the country.)
Days
Each one is a gift, no doubt,
mysteriously placed in your waking hand
or set upon your forehead
moments before you open your eyes.
Today begins cold and bright,
the ground heavy with snow
and the thick masonry of ice,
the sun glinting off the turrets of clouds.
Through the calm eye of the window
everything is in its place
but so precariously
this day might be resting somehow
on the one before it,
all the days of the past stacked high
like the impossible tower of dishes
entertainers used to build on stage.
No wonder you find yourself
perched on the top of a tall ladder
hoping to add one more.
Just another Wednesday,
you whisper,
then holding your breath,
place this cup on yesterday's saucer
without the slightest clink.
See? He doesn't even start every line with a capital letter. So if the Poet Laureate of the United States can choose not to follow the rules, so can you.
To make it even simpler, we're going to provide a couple of suggestions for easy poems which will make you sound like you've spent years holed up in the English department of your local university.
The first one is called an Image Poem. It's an easy, easy recipe to follow. It goes like this:
I remember... [complete this as a sentence]
Image 1
Image 2
Image 3
[etc... usually about 5 images are good]
Question relating to the memory you are sharing
Indirect answer to the question, written as an action
Want an example? I'll write one right now:
Wedding Invitation Poem
I remember a stack of envelopes
On the car seat next to me,
The thin, translucent vellum, printed with time and place,
Flecks of flowers pressed into cotton paper,
Rectangles, nine inches by six inches
Containing the beginning of something brand new
The names of our friends and family
Printed in tiny black letters,
Welcoming them to the start of our new life.
Will that life be as great as the party?
The mailbox slot clangs shut as I slide the envelopes inside
Thinking of his eyes, and I know that life will be the party.
It's not great, but it shows what I mean. I'm sure you all could do a much, much better job.
Not quite feeling that one? There's another format called the Where I'm From poem. It describes places, people, objects, and other things we might hold in common. You could use this format to talk about your relationship to Drew, Nancy, or both of us...
It should have about 4 stanzas. It could be Where I'm From (if you're writing about just your impressions of Drew or Nancy) or Where We're From (if you're talking about yourself too).
The format is as follows:
[You're/We're from] five objects important to us. Things you'd see in your head if you thought about the way we've spent time together. This could include special foods, objects from holidays, ordinary things like coffee cups that are always present, etc.
[You're/We're from] five places we've spent time together. Vacation sites, descriptions of family homes that don't necessarily mention specific locations ("dusty attics and tiled basements" is better than "the house on Starlite Drive"), stores, restaurants, or other types of places where we go or hang out.
[You're/We're from] five relationships to people, relatives, ancestors, others. Anyone who's come in and out of our lives and shaped us somehow.
[You're/We're going to] five lines that show images of your hopes for the future for us. Objects, places, people in our lives, etc.
Here are a few incomplete fragments to give you some ideas.
We're from nail polish and facial masks on Sunday nights
We're from coffee mugs and Kool filter kings
We're from stuffed cabbage lying heavy on the air.
...
We're from college football stadiums, filled with maize and blue fans,
We're from dirty beat-up houses with too many students,
...
We're from idle young kids skulking about
We're from neighbors who spoke with a twang in their voice
We're from Kristien and Fran, Bram and Marguerite
...
We're going to see our kids get married
We're going to dance on our anniversary
...
Got it?
Another format you can use is called the Copy Change. You take a line and the general format from another poem that you like, and use it as a starting point. Then plug in your own ideas to make it relevant to the situation.
Here's a poem by William Carlos Williams:
The Red Wheel Barrow
so much depends
upon
a red wheel
barrow
glazed with rain
water
beside the white
chickens.
And here's Drew's copy change of this poem, written about the circumstances of us meeting:
The Yellow Duck
so much depends
upon
a yellow
duck
swimming through a
sea
of white paper
envelopes.
You can do this with any poem or even a line from a song; take a line that you like, or that is interesting in some way, and then build your own, unique poem from that line.
Whether you choose to rhyme is really up to you. Some people are more comfortable writing rhyming poems. But remember, you don't have to follow any rules at all. Rhyming can make it harder to write a poem, and the best poets usually don't bother with it.
When a poem doesn't rhyme, it's called "free verse". You might be surprised to find out just how many terrific and beautiful poems are written in free verse, even song lyrics. Everyone knows the Beatles' Strawberry Fields Forever, and Simon and Garfunkel's America, but have you ever noticed that the lines don't rhyme at all?
One reason why you shouldn't worry too much about rhyming is that it can distract you from the images you're creating. There's nothing worse than getting stuck just because you can't come up with a good rhyme for "Saginaw". If you stick to free verse, you can focus more on what you're trying to say and the poem will come more easily.
That's not to say that rhyming is bad! It can lend structure to the poem, and may make it more fun to read or listen to. We certainly don't want to discourage you from it. In the end it's up to you. All we really want is something from your heart, with your personality in it.
Upon hearing our request, some friends have said, "Hey! I'll write a limerick! Those are easy, and real crowd-pleasers, too!"
Believe me, we've already considered this possibility. There's a lot that can be done with "Drew", "Nancy", and especially "Thaler" limerick-wise, and we've already gone through them all and had our chuckles.
The problem is that limericks are such a simple format that they get repetitive quickly. We really don't want thirty limericks to remember our wedding by. If you really, honestly think you can come up with something TRULY original with just the right amount of spice (remember, there will be children present) then go for it. Otherwise, try your hand at a different format first.
It's just that easy! We really hope it won't be too stressful for anyone. If you need any more suggestions, let us know. If Drew and I can do it, you can too!