A Teacher's First Year

Fri - October 22, 2004

to students of bishop o'dowd high school

Lisa is a good friend of mine, guys. I can vouch for her. This is a serious project she's doing and she's interested in your opinions (imagine!) I encourage you to take part, if you can. People want to know how you all feel about what happened, and this would be a positive way for you to express yourself.

An open letter to past or present students at Bishop O'Dowd Catholic High School, especially those who were students of Douglas Neff during the '03-'04 school year:

We, Shannon and Lisa, are masters students at the Graduate Theological Union, currently taking a class called "Framing Youth: Faith, Identity, and the Adolescent".  This class focuses on the spiritual lives and needs of teens, and how their faith and spirituality are affected by the cultural/social/political structures they live in.

As our research project for this class, we would like to hold a group discussion meeting to hear you talk about the events that led up to Mr. Neff being let go at the end of the '03-'04 school year.  This is not simply a discussion of whether you felt that what happened was right or wrong, but more about the unspoken messages or lessons you feel you have received—from the diocese, the school, teachers, parents, even the Catholic Church as a whole—around this issue, and how those messages have affected your beliefs, your faith, your identity, the way you think about the world.

We are concerned that decisions are being made out of fear, xenophobia or political expediency with little regard for how those decisions affect the minds, spirits and faith of the youth they are meant to serve. Decision-makers around the country and around the world are in the habit of ignoring the voices and needs of youth. We want to hear yours.

All responses will be kept strictly confidential, and names will be changed for privacy when we make our presentation and our reports.

We would like to hold this forum on Tuesday evening, November 9th. If you would like to come, or would like more information, please contact Shannon or Lisa at the email addresses/phone numbers listed below.

If you would like your voice to be heard, but will not be able to attend the meeting, please email us with your thoughts.

Shannon Vanderpol skv2001@hotmail.com or 510.367.7221
Lisa WilliamsCraig  lisa@williamscraig.com or 510.697.4585

Posted at 10:20 PM Read More

Sun - October 10, 2004

message in a bottle

I received a copy of this letter a couple weeks ago, and was moved to tears. The original was addressed to my former principal at Bishop O'Dowd HIgh School.

Dear Fr. Don,

I graduated from Bishop O'Dowd in 1989, and I remember my time there very fondly. The academics were great and I made many friends, but I mostly remember the spiritual foundation it gave me through its religious classes and masses.

Last month I was remarried after being widowed for two years. My husband and I chose some moving words from a wedding in San Francisco that we felt represented the leap that both of us were taking as we took our vows:

"Marriage is one of the most remarkable and most courageous of human acts, the promise of two human beings to share life together on all levels -- physical, emotional, spiritual -- a promise made in the face of the certainty of death, the certainty of change, and the uncertainty of everything else. There is nothing else quite like this act, nothing so foolish, nothing so profound."

Imagine my dismay when I discovered that the man whose wedding inspired these words had been dismissed from my alma mater. The school that taught me to love God, look for justice, and treat those around me kindly apparently has fired a teacher for getting married. I sincerely hope this is not the case, but until I'm convinced otherwise, I will not be able in good conscience to contribute any more funds toward Bishop O'Dowd. Please look into your heart and reconsider your decision to dismiss Douglas Neff.

Sincerely,

[name withheld]

Posted at 11:01 AM Read More

Fri - August 20, 2004

speaking out

Click on the photo to go to the San Francisco Chronicle article about why I'm not teaching this year. I haven't written much about this subject here, and that was mainly because I was pursuing the matter privately and through appropriate channels. So I hope that this article gives you a better sense of what Corey and I have been going through over the past several months.

Thank you, by the way, to everyone who has offered their support, sympathies, and frustrations throughout this process. I know that Corey and I depended on all of your warm thoughts, and they were greatly appreciated.

And to anyone who is outraged by what has happened, perhaps this would be a good time to consider a donation to Equality California or the Human Rights Campaign? The battle for civil rights in this country didn't fight itself, people. This issue needs caring, thoughtful, committed people behind it, and if you're reading this, you've already displayed the first two. Put your words and your feelings into action and help protect the citizens of this country from experiencing another state-sanctioned divorce.

Students (especially former students of mine) have a unique opportunity right now. Take this issue to your classrooms, your teachers, your coaches, your parents, your friends. Stand up and be heard. This is your future we're fighting for right now. Are you going to sit back and let us bicker over what kind of life you'll get to have? Get in the game and play hard.

Looking back through the photographs of that special day, I can still feel the light that filled that building during those 4,096 weddings. This was freedom! This was joy! This was power and courage and hope! This was celebration! This was a great step forward in the struggle for equality. This was "the arc of the moral universe" bending toward justice. This was a group of thoughtful, caring, committed people doing nothing more extraordinary than waking up one morning and changing the world.

Make no mistake, folks, God was in City Hall that day. And God was smiling.

Posted at 10:54 AM Read More

Mon - May 31, 2004

pomp and circumstance

So my rookie year has come to an end. Commencement was yesterday. It was held, coincidentally, in the same theater in which I received my Master's degree four years ago. A beautiful space. A beautiful day, in fact. Perfect for graduating, commencing, moving on, that sort of thing. I was somewhat surprised by my feelings this weekend. Between the Baccalaureate mass (final mass for seniors and their families) and Commencement, I would have expected to be an emotional wreck, torn apart by the frustration and sadness at leaving when I shouldn't be leaving. I would have expected the battle to be raging inside me, full of harsh words for anyone who got in my way.

But I wasn't feeling those things this weekend. I think I was just feeling proud. I only had the privilege of teaching about sixty of our three hundred or so seniors, but I still felt myself bursting with pride that I had contributed somehow to their lives, even if it was only for one small part of one semester. Truly the greatest gift, to see them walk across that stage.

Posted at 10:41 PM Read More

Mon - May 3, 2004

living in the question

I've been trying to help my sophomores understand what it means to "live in the question". That is, to hold onto a confusing problem or situation with faith and patience, trusting that your unconscious is working on it and having enough faith to hang on until the solution becomes clear. It's a great way to live, and I think it's one of the top ten things high school students should have in their pocket when they leave for college.

But it's not easy.

Posted at 09:07 AM Read More

Thu - April 29, 2004

celebrating diversity

I was very proud to be a teacher at our school today. Our "multi-cultural week" culminated today in an all-school assembly. They began with a parade of flags. Probably sixty of them when all was said and done, circling the gym. Kids and teachers decked out in costumes and colors that reflected their cultural heritage. It was really something to see the diversity in our school embraced in such a wonderful way.

Posted at 10:40 PM Read More

Wed - April 14, 2004

first real day of spring break

Being a part-time teacher means that I only get a part-time spring break. I worked at my other job Monday and Tuesday this week, so today was my first real day of spring break. Nothing much to report, but it was nice to have a day just to do things I've been meaning to get around to doing. Made some good headway in the kitchen (still unpacking and putting things away), finally finished my taxes (and got screwed by the state of California!) and juggled in the park (of course). Spent a little time with Corey when he got home from work, then went over to Gina's for game night. Low turnout this week, so we just played "Hearts". A favorite game of mine, so no complaints here . . .

Posted at 11:39 PM Read More

Fri - April 9, 2004

changes in my fall schedule

A wonderful way to finish off my classes before spring break. I was invited into the principal's office Wednesday and informed that I would not be offered a contract for the fall.

Posted at 11:25 PM Read More

Fri - April 2, 2004

observed by the principal

Yesterday was my day to be observed by the principal. Since this is my first year and I'm still "probationary", I was a little nervous. And I've always been slightly self-conscious about the fact that I didn't go through a traditional credential program (they don't have those for religion teachers). I'm always wondering if those other teachers learned something in their experiences that I didn't. And what if that's one of the things he's looking for when he observes me?!

Posted at 01:53 PM Read More

Mon - March 29, 2004

whaddaya mean there's no snooze button!

I've taken my hint from both Meera and the rest of the universe, and I'm swearing off snooze-buttoning for good. It's clear that I'm just wasting my life away during those 15-minute intervals of sleep every morning. (Of course, when you add enough of them together, they turn out to be more like 60-minute intervals!)

Posted at 03:20 PM Read More

the consequences of assigning an essay test right before grades are due:

1. You have to read them all.

2. You have to read them all.

3. You have to read them all.

4. You have to read them all.

5. You have to read them all.

Posted at 03:06 PM Read More

Tue - March 23, 2004

my moment of glory

Yup. That's my baby. The 2000 Powerbook G3. Codename: "Pismo". She may not be all shiny and fast like those newer kids on the block, but she can still hold her own in a fight. And she can still provide me with the occasional moment of glory. Like today . . .

Posted at 10:41 PM Read More

Tue - March 9, 2004

a butterfly between two tuxes

Our school has a wonderful bunch of kids dedicated to saving the planet. So dedicated, in fact, that they came up with an event called "Earth Week", got the whole school to participate in recycling, wearing green, learning more about the world around them, and getting involved, AND brought two world-class speakers to our campus. One is a former Frontline producer, and the other is Julia Butterfly Hill. She wrote the book pictured above, and you probably remember her as the activist who spent two years living in a redwood tree to protest the logging industry.

Posted at 12:06 AM Read More

Wed - March 3, 2004

superlearning with GarageBand

The above track is an example of a project I did with my New Testament students a few weeks ago, using GarageBand and my Powerbook. We did one of these for each gospel, then burned them to CD's for the kids to take home and use for studying. Obviously, there are still some kinks (hard to hear the voices, for one thing) that will need to be worked out, but I think this has potential.

Posted at 08:20 AM Read More

Tue - February 17, 2004

restless little monkeys

Most of my students were restless little monkeys today. I asked a few of them what the deal was, but never got a straight answer. Some of them said it was because they just had a three-day weekend. Others said that it was because this was a short week. Others blamed the rainy weather. And one or two brave souls said that it probably had to do with the generally-low test grades.

Yup. I think that last one was the big problem.

Posted at 11:08 PM Read More

why grading sucks: an essay

Friday was the end of the grading period, so grades are due at 8:30 tomorrow morning (or this morning, I guess). As he looks at the clock wearily. I really have to get used to this grading stuff. I've never done something that requires so much concentrated attention for so long. And I keep underestimating how long it will take me. Just finished my last few tests a little bit ago, then started finishing up the grades for the school's database.

When all of a sudden, wouldn't you know it . . . the database went out on me. Great. So I'll have to haul my butt up to school that much earlier to get everything entered into the system by 8:30.

Posted at 12:17 AM Read More

Sat - February 14, 2004

Doug on retreat

Senior Retreat was really nice. Relaxing, rejuvenating time with 45 high school seniors out among the redwoods. That might not sound fun to everyone out there, but to me it was perfect. I'm really starting to like these kids. And I was honestly really impressed with them on this retreat. Of course, we had the usual goofy stuff that you have with any 45 high school seniors, but when it came down to it, these kids were full of a lot more heart and groundedness and consideration than most adults I know.

Posted at 12:57 AM Read More

Wed - February 11, 2004

away from my computer!

Hey gang,

Just a quick note to let you know that I'll be away from the computer for a couple days, on retreat with some seniors from school. At least, I'll be away from an internet connection. My Powerbook is going with me (let's not get crazy!)

Posted at 03:23 PM Read More

Thu - February 5, 2004

Fitness Training, the 12-Bar Blues, and hearing some happy news

I like being a teacher who's also a technology-freak, but I wish it required a little less manual labor. I teach in three different classrooms during a day, and so, when I want to be all "techno-man", I need to carry around: (a) my usual bag, which contains my Powerbook, textbooks, and papers, weighing in at probably about 163 pounds; (b) a supplemental bag, carrying a set of external speakers, headphones, any videotapes I might be showing in class, and a couple of cables that don't fit in my laptop bag; and (c) Mr. LCD Projector, which happens to be a lightweight model, so it only tips the scales at around 73 pounds. By the end of the day, I feel like I've been training to climb K2.

Posted at 11:33 PM Read More

Tue - February 3, 2004

the shoulders of giants . . . and not-so-giants (part 5)

Undergraduate Teachers (I majored in Religious Studies and Music at Ithaca College)
Dr. M. - My saxophone professor. (I spent many hours studying with this man. He taught me how to how to learn, how to teach, and the mechanics of doing both (although I wonder if that's what he meant to do). He also taught me how to be the world’s best saxophone player (if that was what I wanted, which I didn’t). Every time I pick up the saxophone, I find myself learning something new that started as a seed that he planted. I still have many of my old lessons with him on tape.
Kevin M. - taught me what Shakespeare was really about. I had him for 8am Intro to Poetry my Freshman Year. At 8:02 am, first day of class, my first day of college, Corey walked into the classroom and sat across from me. (And I'll tell you that story another day.)
Alice M. - Alice taught me about Mysticism, dreams, and the existence of “energy”. She lived her subject more than anyone I had ever met, and I knew there was more going on than just what she was saying. The presence of "God" or "the Universe" became a very real, tangible thing in her classroom. She was the reason I changed majors to Religion my Junior year. She also inspires much of what I teach my own students. (She wrote me a recommendation for this job, and I was SO happy to be asking her for it. "You're following your bliss," she said. "Good for you." Thank you, Alice.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Posted at 10:32 PM Read More

Mon - February 2, 2004

the shoulders of giants . . . and not-so-giants (part 4)

High School Teachers (continued)

Mr. P. - Grade 11. Made us write in a journal every day (my first one), introduced us to Walt Whitman and Robert Frost, and made me start liking English again
Brother B. - Grade 11. History teacher who oozed a love for history from every pore in his body. He didn’t make me love history back then, but I think he laid the groundwork. His room was a museum, and he passed out pieces of history to us every day. A's and B's weren't good enough for him. You could earn yourself a "Humdinger" and get like double the points -- then goof off the last 3 or 4 weeks of school. I learned from him what a “learning environment” looked like. He used to say, “A closed book is a useless book”. His room was the only one in school with air-conditioning.
Mr. C. - Grade 11. Latin teacher, from whom I never had the pleasure of taking a class. I had heard of geniuses, but I had never met one until him. He invented a system of hand signals that he used to help his students learn Latin better. He wrote a Christmas letter for everyone once that was twelve pages long, in rhyming couplets. He had written symphonies, carved sculptures, introduced me to the Brahms Requiem, and when the Gulf War started, he was the only person in the whole school who was deeply, deeply affected.

Posted at 03:19 PM Read More

the shoulders of giants . . . and not-so-giants (part 3)

High School Teachers
Mr. M. - Grade 9. Rookie band director, taught me that “everyone’s favorite teacher” always ends up on the losing end. Ousted for "inappropriateness" with a female student.
Coach F. - Grade 9. Very wealthy wrestling coach. (I wrestled for one summer.) Had horse stables at his house, which he converted into "Rocky IV-style" workout facilities. Taught me about excellence, what it takes to win, and how to give more of yourself than 100%.
Mr. F. - Grade 9. Taught me to hate math again.
Mrs. S. - Grade 9. Spanish Teacher. She taught me what learning a foreign language was like, and she once complimented me on a school newspaper article I had written. I remember that it couldn't have been easy being a female teacher in a school of adolescent males. And I think her last name meant "Proud Mountains". (You can bet that one got around . . . )
Mr. C. - Grade 9. Taught me to hate english, and hate it so badly that I wanted to become a teacher so I could undo what he had done to all his students. Awful, awful teacher. Still there, as a matter of fact.
Ms. T. - Grade 9. She was four feet tall, and never took crap from anyone. She taught religious identity, taught us how to meditate, and broke our class into different groups to demonstrate India’s caste system. She taught me how to teach people through doing, and she taught me a lot about myself.
Kevin Dunipace - My private saxophone teacher throughout high school, who taught me to appreciate my own musicianship, and taught me how to be musical in my playing, no matter what it was.

Posted at 03:13 PM Read More

Sat - January 31, 2004

the shoulders of giants . . . and not-so-giants (part 2)

Elementary School (continued)

•Mr. K. - 6th grade. Crazy science teacher and square dance caller, who gave me an opportunity to teach something to the class once. This was the year that all the sixth graders went to "Camp Isaac Jogues", which felt like Boy Scout summer camp to me, but with classmates.
•Mrs. M. - 6th grade. I was eating lunch in her classroom when the Challenger exploded. I remember that she really loved social studies and anthropology, and really missed them now that she was a teacher.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Posted at 11:24 AM Read More

the shoulders of giants . . . and not-so-giants (Part 1)

Sir Isaac Newton once said, "If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants". Apparently, he even came up with the phrase "shoulders of giants" by . . . er . . . standing on the shoulders of giants. (And we could go round and round with that one!)

In graduate school, I took a course entitled "Research Philosophy and Methodology" in which I wrote a qualitative research paper on "master teachers". One of the exercises we did was to look closely at our topic in light of our own experience of growing older. That project elicited from me a list of all (most) of my former teachers, with the memories I still have of their class. It proved to be very moving for me, and instrumental to my research.

Thinking about my own teaching style has made me think again about that list, and I've taken another look:

Posted at 11:23 AM Read More

Thu - January 29, 2004

Tempering an ego the size of Montana

Yes. I have a large ego. Extra large. Super-sized, even. And many people will tell you that I enjoy teaching so much because I love being on stage and I love having a captive audience and I love getting attention and so on and so on. Some will even tell you that it's an ego-trip for me.

Most of that is true. I do love all of those things. But it's not what finally got me in the classroom. None of those things are why I became a teacher. And my ego? Yes, it's huge. Yes, I'm sure it gets in the way of my teaching sometimes. And yes, there are moments when I notice myself doing things in class just for the attention. But those times are the exception, not the rule. And they are also not why I became a teacher.

Posted at 11:25 PM Read More

Hi Mr. Neff

do bad students make good teachers?

stop staring at my clavicles

the bible rap

book-looks

first day back

the cat is out of the bag - continued

losing my teeth

I do more before 7am . . .

Old Friends and new friends

Sucked to be a teacher today