lessons in humility

Went to my first juggling group today. After school, I headed over to the UC Berkeley campus, where the Berkeley Juggling Club meets every Friday at 5. I don't know if you can really call them meetings. Everyone just kind of shows up and starts juggling. I was pretty nervous, as I've only juggled for myself before (and that captive audience of six-year-olds). There were only two guys there when I arrived, so I took out my beanbags and started warming up.

One guy was juggling already. Four beanbags. And a club. Ouch. He's warming up with five.

I did my best to stick with my own routine, trying not to get too distracted by what everyone else was doing, even though I was clearly a beginner here. One guy was juggling five clubs. (A lot more impressive than you might think.) I had gotten used to being the best juggler in the park every morning, and now I was surrounded by guys warming up with stuff that was better than I finished with.

The great thing about jugglers, though, is that they're all very friendly. (Think about it. Have you ever met a mean juggler?) They were very welcoming to me, asked me questions, and kind of just let me feel my way around. As other people began to arrive, they started pairing off to do club passing. This is what I really came here to do. You can't pass clubs back and forth when you juggle by yourself, and I had wanted to do this for a very long time. I had only tried it once, in college, and I loved it. But it was also really hard, so I was pretty nervous.

There was another guy there, though, who hadn't been doing clubs in awhile, so he was pretty rusty. He asked me if I wanted to pass. Hell, yes! So he showed me the basics and we faced off.

I went to start off the way I usually do, and he corrected me. "No, you need to start from your right hand", he said.

Uh-oh. I knew right away this was going to lead to problems. With beanbags, I could start with either hand, no problem. But when you start off with clubs, you kind of have to flip the first one with your fingers, and I could just barely do it with my left hand. So I had to try throwing this plastic bowling pin, with accuracy and precision, with my non-dominant hand, at a total stranger's head, all the while dodging (or catching) the pin being hurled at mine.

It didn't go well. In fact, it didn't go well for a very long time. My partner was very patient with me (see how nice?!) but I felt like I was learning how to juggle all over again. After thirty or forty minutes, I had made two successful passes in a row. That was my record. Not awful. It was definitely improvement over how I started. But it had to be trying on his patience.

Reflecting back on this, I'm noticing what obstacle I'm really struggling with here. The fear of being a burden to somebody. I love it when I'm showing someone how to juggle and they're really interested and doing their best and getting better and better . . . I love being a part of that! What makes me think that he wasn't loving it, too? Why do I think that anything I need is automatically going to be a burden for every other person in the world? Every single one of those guys started out where I am. And after I do this for awhile, I'll have my opportunity to show the next person who walks onto that field how to do it.

Until then, I'll just go to my park every morning and keep practicing, then showing up on Fridays for a little bit of schooling . . .

Posted: Fri - April 23, 2004 at 11:50 PM

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lessons in humility

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