an afternoon with bill clinton (almost)

I didn't get a chance to write last week, but Corey and I went to a book signing with Bill Clinton. Hmm. That's not quite right. Maybe I should rephrase that. Corey and I went to Cody's Books last week, where Bill Clinton was signing books. Yeah, that's it. Anyway, what a madhouse! Tickets sold out the day the book was released. Cody's gave out one thousand tickets, one to each person who purchased a copy of the book. And each ticketholder would be permitted to bring one "buddy" to the book-signing.

Okay, that was the drill. Corey knew there would be a long line, so I dropped him off at Cody's at about 8am that morning. By that time, the line stretched all the way down one block and halfway down the next. Curiously, most of the people didn't even have tickets! That means, a thousand people (plus their buddies) would show up, in addition to all of these other people just hoping to get a chance to meet the former President. Here's a picture:

Lots of democratic activity, as you might imagine. John Kerry buttons, voter registration drives, volunteer recruiting, etc. And they all held their own 900-plus page copy of My Life, Clinton's book. People brought lawn chairs, coolers of food, cell phones (of course), umbrellas for shade, and a few large, incredibly annoying megaphones.

As I said, I dropped him off in the morning, then I headed to work. I joined him later during my lunch hour, since the doors weren't even opening until noon. By that time, the United States Secret Service had obviously arrived. Roads were closed in a one-block radius around the store. A moving truck was set up outside the store, ready to check bags and other stuff (we were told that we would not be permitted to carry anything into the store, other than the book). As we got closer, it turned out to be true. They took our stuff, clipped something onto the bag, then gave us a ticket in return. No cell phone, no camera, no nothing. Before we entered the store, a Secret Service guy (okay, that was pretty cool) took our book and flipped through it, looking for guns or knives or . . . I don't know. Pez dispensers? He then waved us inside.

We were greeted by a half dozen more agents, armed with metal detector wands. They had us spread our arms, and they brushed us down, looking for more metallic thingies, I suppose. Then we got in pairs and headed up the stairs. The line moved quickly now, and in a short while we could see President Clinton. He looked just like he does in that picture above. Standing behind a conveyor belt of books, pen in his left hand, right hand ready to shake, and a boyish smile permanently affixed to his face.

Finally, we were three or four people away. Corey was on my left, holding the book. I was surprised to find someone pulling on my arm. It was a clerk. "You need to stand over here, sir."

She was pulling me out of the line. Away from the action. Out of the picture. I didn't understand. Then, sadly, I did. It was a trick! A big tease, all along. I was nothing more than a "buddy" here, and apparently didn't even rate a handshake.

I waited while Corey got his book signed, shook Mr. President's hand, and found me waiting at the door. Neither of us could believe that Cody's Books would do that to us. Maybe it was a last-minute decision due to the number of people who showed up. I don't know. Would have been nice if they told us that, though.

Anyway, on the way out, a gentleman held a sign that said, simply: "$300 cash for signed books." Oy! If I had only bought a book!! Apparently, this guy worked for a company who handled corporate gifts (for CEO's, etc.) and his offer went up to four hundred by the end of the day, but I don't think he got many takers. Everyone, it seemed, had waited to long for their prize to give it up for something as cheap as cold cash.

Anyway, no handshake for me, but I did get to see the guy. From about ten feet away. I guess I can live with that.

Posted: Sun - July 4, 2004 at 05:30 PM

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an afternoon with bill clinton (almost)

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