You Have to Laugh at Yourself Once in a While . . .

Category: General Reflections

[These two jokes "came to me" today and I thought they were funny, so I decided to pass them along.]


Two men crashed in their private plane on a South Pacific Island.  Both survived. 

One of the men brushed himself off and then proceeded to run all over the island to see if they had any chance of survival.

When he returned, he rushed up to the other man and screamed, "This Island is uninhabited, there is no food, and there is no water.  We are going to die!"

The other man leaned back against the fuselage of the wrecked plane, folded his arms and responded, "No we're not.  I make over $250,000 a week."

The first man grabbed his friend and shook him.  "Listen, we are on an uninhabited island.  There is no food, no water.  We are going to die!"

The other man, unruffled, again responded.  "No, I make over $250,000 a week."

Mystified, the first man, taken aback with such an answer again repeated, "For the last time, I'm telling you we ARE doomed.  There is NO one else on this island.  There is NO food.  There is NO water.  We are, I repeat, we are going to die a slow death."

Still unfazed, the first man looked the other in the eyes and said, "Do not make me say this again.  I make over $250,000 per week......and I tithe.  Not to worry, MY PASTOR WILL FIND US!"

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An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. 

When she went before the judge in Cincinnati, he asked her, "What did you steal?" She replied, "A can of peaches." 

The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches and she replied that she was hungry. The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied six. 

The judge then said, "I will then give you 6 days in jail." 

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.

The judge said, "What is it?" 

The husband said, "She also stole a can of peas."

(Copyright © 2007 Douglas Goodin, All Rights Reserved, Contact)