So many questions, so few answers 



D has been asking about my Great Aunt Ruth a lot lately. Are we sure she's in heaven? Yes. Did she know that D was named after her ? Yes. Does she know D loves the silver hairbrush Aunt Ruth gave her? Yes. Why did she die? She was 99 years old and it was her time.

I couldn't figure out why the sudden interest in her great-great aunt, who she really only met twice. It just didn't make sense. Aunt Ruth died over two years ago - just before her brother was born. We couldn't even go to the funeral; I was too pregnant to travel.

But today, the questions started all over again while we were listening to the radio.

We listen to a lot of National Public Radio at our house. It is my talk show, my daily news, my mindless soap opera and my weather all rolled into one. My theory is - if it's not on NPR, you really don't need to know it.

I try to turn the volume down when they report on the war, but I don't always get there in time.

Today's question was:
"Mommy, Aunt Ruth was in Iraq, wasn't she?"

Then it hit me. All the reports on death. "10 soldiers died today. 5 Iraqis died." I try to shelter her, but she hears it. She doesn't see any of it on TV, but she does hear it on the radio. She often bursts into tears when she hears somebody (anybody) died. To hear that 10 soldiers died brings her over the edge.

The only person D has ever known in her entire life who died was her Great-Aunt Ruth. Her five year old brain can't process all the death she hears on the radio.

By the time Aunt Ruth died at the wonderful age of 99, just about every single person she loved had already died: Her parents, all her siblings, all her friends. She'd made it through the depression, WWI, and WWII. She'd lived through loss and seen lots of death and destruction.

I sure could use some of her insight now to explain this current war to her vulnerable little namesake.


 

Posted: Thu - January 20, 2005 at 09:37 PM          

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