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Edgewise #7 Okay, no goofing around this week, let's jump right into the EDGEWISE VIRTUAL MAILBAG. Dear EDGEWISE, What's all this stuff you keep writing about superintelligent brains secretly running FANTASTICON? Isn't it just a cheesy literary device that's long since ceased to be funny and yet continues to waste over a quarter of your meager space every week? You don't really expect us to believe this nonsense? &emdash;John Rozum, California No I don't and neither do the brains. In fact, they're counting on it. But, you got me, they aren't really brains. They're extradimensional creatures whose true shape is too horrible and complex for our puny, human minds to fully grasp. Who's got the space to describe all that every week? H.P. Lovecraft stories with less plot than a MARS ATTACKS trading card often spend thousands of words just describing the tentacles. I'm doing you a favor here, show some appreciation. Dwayne, How about naming some of your favorite science fiction authors? &emdash;Ray Washington, Michigan Well, I read almost everything, until STAR WARS and the dreaded fantasy trilogies ruined the medium. Off the top of my head, the stuff that stuck with me includes Harlan Ellison, Robert Sheckley, Robert Heinlein (with an explanation) and Robert Silverberg. Anybody named Robert, apparently. My favorite science fiction novel is Frank Herbert's DUNE but I was 12 when I read it, which probably explains that. Mr. McDuffie, Reading your column, I notice you don't seem to like much of anything. How about naming some SF TV series that you think are worth our time. &emdash;Virgil Hawkins, Dakota. That kind of depends on how valuable your time is, doesn't it? Actually, I think I'm relatively easy on this crap. Here's the stuff I'll watch if I'm not doing something else: XENA, FUTURAMA, DEEP SPACE NINE, BUFFY, the SUPERMAN cartoon &emdash;I'm probably forgetting a bunch of things. I'm reconsidering FARSCAPE, either it got funnier or I'm just getting used to the Muppets. I also recommend COPS, which takes place on a parallel Earth where the police are always trustworthy, patient and helpful. A little over the top, even for sci-fi but what the hell. Dear Edgewise, Isn't it true that all of the letters in this weeks' column are fake, even this one? &emdash;Dwayne McDuffie, Florida Well, yes. I thought it would kill some space and maybe encourage my readers to send real letters. So far, I've only received one legit letter. Even though it was unsigned, I guess it's only fair to print it: Dear so-called Dwayne, You suck! True, but only as a physical manifestation of a deeper emotional connection. And that's all the time we've got for now, see you next week.
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