Column Archives
Virtual Mailbag
As promised, it's time to answer this column's virtual mail.
Dear BROUGHT TO YOU BY,
What happened all the stuff you used to write about superintelligent brains floating in tanks secretly running this website as the opening gambit in a scheme to take over the world? Did you finally get some lithium, or was it just supposed to be a joke?
-John Rozum, California
They aren't really brains, they're extra-dimensional creatures whose true shape is too horrible and complex for our puny, human minds to fully grasp. And yes, I was joking. Of course there aren't any brain-shaped extra-dimensional extrusions plotting to enter, then conquer our world. The very idea of it is ludicrous. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Has it been 6 hours already? I gotta go take my meds.
Mr. McDuffie,
Reading your column, I notice you don't seem to like much of anything. How about naming some current comics that you think are worth our time?
-Ray Washington, Michigan
That kind of depends on how valuable your time is, doesn't it? Here's the thing: I don't read many current comics. I'm trying to work on this, with my readers' help, but I haven't yet bought the books you all recommended.
Dwayne,
How about naming some of your favorite comics?
-Virgil Hawkins, Dakota
My all-time favorite comics (this week) are Little Lulu, "The Panther's Rage," Maison Ikoku, Lee/Kirby Fantastic Four and something by Steve Gerber, but I'm not sure what.
Dwayne,
In what issue of ICON does he say there should be a complete recount of the Florida presidential ballots? I've looked and looked and I can't find it. Please answer quickly, I need it for work.
-Clarence Thomas, Washington
I've really got to start checking my e-mail more often.
Dear Edgewise,
Isn't it true that all of the letters in this week's column are fake, even this one?
-Dwayne McDuffie, Florida
Well, yes. I thought it would kill some space and maybe encourage my readers to send more e-mail. You guys have been great about sending suggestions for my reading list, but otherwise, you're an uncharacteristically quiet bunch. The last incarnation of this column used to get me over a hundred e-mails a week. So far, Brought To You By has only received one legit letter that I didn't specifically request. Even though it was unsigned, I suppose it's only fair to print it:
Dear so-called Dwayne,
You suck!
True, but only as a physical manifestation of a deeper emotional connection. And that's all the time we've got for now. See you next year.
Dwayne McDuffie, the co-creator of Icon, Static Shock and Damage Control, has every hope that by the next time he does a Virtual Mailbag, you guys will have come through with at least two or three pieces of real mail. I mean, this was downright pathetic. Dwayne still loves you and wants you to visit his web site.
