To be honest I am not really one for poncing around in a café sipping an expresso and nibbling a cinnamon tartlet. But I would be neglecting my duties if I didn't report on the development of what appears to be a healthy café society in Hounslow, with not a Starbucks in sight (do you know these people have the front to charge £2 for a cup of coffee - astonishing!).

Internet cafés have been springing up recently as well as PC-free places which, I have to admit, can be quite agreeable places to kill half an hour with a newspaper. For some reason they are mainly concentrated around Hounslow East tube station. Maybe Edwards and Yates's provide too much competetion at the other end. Oddly, there remains a lack of places in the pedestrianised part of the High Street where you can sit outside and watch the world and Mark Handley pass by. Your only options at the moment seem to be that Bakers Pantry place, and of course Maccy D's are more than happy to flog you an overpriced styrofoam cup of McCoffee featuring a mutant clown. Here are rather more pleasant alternatives...

Sunrise Cafe

Ideal place for a heartstopper breakfast, and conveniently located just by the Wheelhouse. Their set breakfast number one comes with amongst other things, fried bread AND bubble and squeak. They also do great doorstopper bacon or sausage sandwiches. Ideal hanggover cure if you've been taking a little too much advantage of the Moon's latest promotion...

L'Etoile:

Now this is exactly the sort of place we need more of. If you happen to be in Hounslow before opening time this is a very pleasant alternative to a pub. They don't sell Stella, but the coffee I had was fine. They have a large range of cakes and fancies for the ladies, and it was pleasing to see the menu included a bacon and sausage sandwich as well as the usual houmous and tuna that this sort of place always sells. It's bright, airy and roomy inside - a good job because if you make use of their outdoor tables you're going to find yourself choking on fumes from the H37. (Although to be fair you can pay a lot more for the same privilege at Dome in Richmond.) At the risk of repeating myself, the pedestrianised section of the High Street really is crying our for a place like this - why there isn't one already is beyond me. That strange new shop/cafe hybrid at the entrance to the Treaty Centre seems to do OK so you'd think a "proper" café like this also would.

Crystals:

Crystals is now (yet another) middle eastern supermarket, albeit one that also sells takeaway halal pizzas. You can see what you missed and read the original review on the graveyard page

Hounslow Internet Centre:

I think this place was the first of the many internet cafés now found in Hounslow. I have fond memories of this place, wandering in for the first time not knowing my click and drag from my plug and play. The staff deserve a special mention for getting me started on the internet, especially the lady who showed my how to open an attachment (yes I really was that green) and ended up eye to Jap's eye with some midget porn. Thanks for that, Steve...