Gobbling

 

Whether you are after a post session munch or a more sedate sit down meal, you should be able to find it in Hounslow and I aim to help you find it. Like the Quaffing section, I am still doing my research and will add to this section at irregular intervals. The usual array of fast food outlets are to be found on the High Street and unremarkable pub food is on offer at most places all day. In my humble opinion, the locally run greasy spoons, kebab houses and chippys etc detailed below offer far better food and value for money than the bland pap doled out by the chains.

 Golden Oriental
 You would expect to find a decent curry house in Hounslow and I can highly recommend the Golden Oriental just by the bus station. Don't be misled by the name, this is an Indian not Chinese restaurant, They've just celebrated their 33rd aniversary, so they must be doing something right. Pay a visit and find out what - if you stick to the "Chef's Specialities" at the centre of the menu, you won't go far wrong. They helpfully indicate the strength of the food they sell by placing little chilli logos next to the spicier dishes: one chilli - good; two chillis - better! Cool yourself down with either a bottle of Cobra, or for the traditionalists, a pint of Carlsberg.

 Hounslow Kebab

 Just down the road from the Wheelhouse is a place called which comes highly recommended by a reliable source. They have the admirable practice of dispensing with the potentially healthy parts of a large donner, and offer for sale chips with kebab meat. Happily I am now in a position to confirm the views of the writer on the feedback page - this place offers magnificent value for money and is well worth the short walk from the High Street to visit. For the price of a Big Mac you get a container of meat and chips big enough to feed a horse. This defeated me the first time I tried it. However the remains warmed up made a very satisfying breakfast! See you in the Cardiac Arrest Ward! For those on a health kick the grilled chicken sandwich is an equally delicious alternative, and I think vastly superior to the alternative offered by KFC.

Update (May 2005): Since writing the above Hounslow Kebab have moved premises and are now a little closer to the High Street, on the same road. All the above comments remain valid, though.

 Station Cafe.
 Just opposite the bus station on London Road is the above average greasy spoon Station Cafe. It's spotless inside and you can see into the cooking area which is always nice. Friendly staff, newspapers and the fact that the radio is occasionally tuned to Xfm make this an agreeable place for a munch. Best of all they understand that an all-day English breakfast is improved immeasurably when the bacon is served slightly charred!

 Nan's Café
  A little closer to home, this is in what the estate agents now like to call "Heston Village". It's one of those places that's a greasy spoon by day, and candlelit Thai restaurant by night. If you fancy a change from a ruby but still crave something spicy it's worth giving a go. I had a very nice "duck thing" (sorry, can't remember the technical term) here. It's a bring-your-own (booze) place, which helps keep the price down. If you haven't taken advantage of the very welcome special offers that Safeway now do on plonk, pay a visit to Heston Wine Store, which has opening hours that rival Hounslow Kebab's. Nice bacon sandwiches there, too (Nan's, not Hounslow Kebab).

 8 til Late convenience store by Hounslow Central station merits a mention for flogging cheap, delicious samosas, bhajiis and kebab rolls to the masses.

 The African Queen:
 This pub/curry house is on Wellingon Rd South, about a 10 minute walk from Hounslow Central. The pub bit is nothing to write home about - it has a pool table, and some may find the videos shown on Z tv a reason to visit. However the restaurant out the back is outstanding. The £7 mixed grill is a huge plate of sizzling meat, plenty for 2. The masala fish is fantastic. Don't be put off by the fact it's cooley (aka 'the poor man's cod). You get thick white chunks of flakey fish in a superb masala batter - very very moreish. (And anyway shouldn't we all be going easy on the cod - there are hardly any of them left in the North Sea.) Also worth mentioning are the Mogo Chips. They are made from cassava (also used to make tapioca). This results in really fat, thickly cut chips, crisp outside and soft and fluffy inside. Delicious, and just like chips should be. Come here with a bunch of mates and fifteen quid will get you a groaning tableful of great food and a couple of drinks apeace. If that' s not enough, they even have a framed picure of a monkey on the wall - that in itself is reason enough to visit!

 Mas Andreu (Andrew's Cottage) This place is some way from Hounslow, being just outside the centre of Barcelona. Still if you happen to find yourself in Catalonia you'd be far better off coming here for your tapas rather than any of the tourist traps along the Ramblas. I don't know how you'd ask for them in Catalan, but the plates of mixed cheeses and sausages are superb. I also liked the "bread rubbed with garlic and tomato". Your nibbles can be washed dowm with lager served in a glass boot for those who like that sort of thing; alternatively for those who like living dangerously, a liberal measure of Absinthe. The stars of the Catalan version of Men Behaving Badly called Dirty Dishes have been known to drink here.

 

Again this section will be expanded (like my waistline!) in due course. Any suggestions for this section are gratefully received: please get in touch.

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