As you may have gathered by now, the main purpose of this site is to have a bit of a chuckle and to show that although Hounslow is not one of London's most salubrious boroughs, it is not as bad as some like to make out. I like it here anyway! To my surprise not only do people read these pages, but some have emailed their comments to me. Here are extracts from the less offensive of them. If you have thoughts about Hounslow or this site, share them with me, and I'll stick them on this page.

12/05:"Just stumbled across your site and saw a couple of references to Ritchie Blackmore. I am currently writing a bio on him and wondered if I could put a message on your site for anyone who went to school with Ritchie to contact me. Regards. Jerry Bloom, Editor, More Black than Purple
www.moreblackthanpurple.co.uk
 Email: editor@moreblackthanpurple.co.uk poj "JB Bloody Hell, three emails in a month - I might even start updating this site in the New Year! All the best for 2006!

12/05:"You need to have a pint at the Red Lion in Isleworth- Littlefield road. Lovely place! Big comfy tatty sofas, Friendly comfy atmosphere. A really good quiz night. Bands ­ local and new bands and some known bands as well, a nice selection. The bar staff are good natured, they remember you and your favourite drink, they have a laugh. Great chips. I'm a native of New York City but my partner is a long time resident of Isleworth and we both are very fond of the Red Lion for various reasons. It's just what I imagine a good local should be. Oh yes, the prices are also good." BB Is that the same Red Lion that won the Evening Standard's first ever Pub of the Year competiton and was CAMRA's Pub of the Year a couple of years back? If so, I know the place well, and agree with your comments. It'll be added to Quaffing in due course...

12/05:" Hounslow College -- the horrible school. Yes, the shite private school. Two gloomy, motheaten Victorian houses knocked together, a mudbath playground, and a regime consisting largely of daily corporal punishment inflicted by staff and prefects (the bastards) alike. One master took particular sadistic pleasure in beating small boys for offences invented by him on the spur of the moment. I tried to find him later in life in order to bombard him with anonymous death-threats but I think he died before I could get to him. Among the fellow inmates of this ghastly Dotheboys Hall were some good guys, and I'd like to thank Rossi, whose father owned the ice-cream parlour across the road, for arranging the occasional treat at his old man's expense. Despite the gloom and doom, your great site, with its excellent contributors, has brought back a few memories, and clearly Hounslow is bigger, and better, than my experiences of it. Keep up the good work!" CF Sounds just like Formby High...

09/05:" I was looking for info on "Royzey", the owner of The Band Centre (and member of Jeep - for my crimes I still have a record by them), when I came across your site. As it says in the film; I laughed, I cried, I hurled... I lived in Heston / Hounslow West from 1961 to 1989, in the same road as Vic Feather (General Secretary of the Trade Unions Congress in the 1960's - in the days of general strikes and the like) and Riz Khan (sometime tv presenter for London Region and later CNN) who was a mate for a while. A couple of points; the pub at the start of the A30 (Great West Road) was the Travellers Friend - I should know as I was mates with the son of one of the Landlords and we used to play up on the roof with all the castlements and stuff. I was too young to drink there (although I bought sweets from the little off licence attached to it) so I used to buy a cup of coffee from the art-deco petrol station/car sales showroom known as Henleys (now a Safeways filling station). When I got to drink at the Travellers, it was pretty run down - a major disappointment. It was Heston Aerodrome when Nev told us it was piece in our time. Fairy Avionics (or whatever they were called then) took over at the end of the Second World War. I am fairly sure that a bit of film showing three Hurricanes landing that often gets shown on satellite tv was filmed there, as the houses are just like those in Cranford - which were built in the 1930's.Williams (later Morton Williams / Thiakol - the maker of the worlds biggest firework; the Discovery space shuttle) chemical works was indeed closed down. Hounslow Council were not to keen to have a chemical plant in the middle of a residential area and so refused to renew its licence. My mum worked there for over 25 years and retired just before it closed. Drinking:Just up from the old Fairy works, toward Heston, was a old fashioned pub I had a few drinks in - but I can't recall its name. I did drink in the Queens Head/Arms in Cranford, but there was another one just up the road toward the school. Oh joy, I just remembered I was a member of the Youth Club at Cranford Community School - too... I went to Hounslow Manor School ('Ahnslaah Manaah), and was one of the few who didn't drink in the Rifleman. I used to go to the pub near Hounslow East tube station (the White Bear?) because David Bowie did one of his first gigs there, with Rick Wakeman of the Strawbs on piano. This was mid 1970's - and I had the best Ziggy haircut in the school! The other pub I remember was the one in Bell Road - it had a well maintained dartboard and did a cheap and copious "Ploughmans Lunch" (Wedge of crusty bread, wedge of sweaty cheese and all the pickled onions you could eat). As I said, I came across your site whilst attempting to find "Royzey" of The Band Centre. In the late 70's he sold me a guitar which I still have. It cost about 75 quid, but I part exchanged another for it. I still have it. Just the other day another of the same type was sold for 12 hundred pounds. It is one of the rarest guitars in the world - yet does not command silly money...Such was the impact of Hounslow that I still live just down the road - the road being the A30 and my part of it is West Cornwall. I really enjoyed your site and will be dipping in again in the future. Cheers..." MS The pub on Bell Road to which MS refers is the Bulstrode. I think they're still using the same dartboard... If anyone has any info on 'Royzey', drop me a line and I'll pass your comments on.

03/05:"On the Chiswick! page you mention the essay about the perfect pub, "The Moon Under Water." It's not by H. G. Wells, but by George Orwell; he wrote it for the Evening Standard of 9 February 1946. And at the end, he reveals that it doesn't exist.Nice pub pix, though! Yours for more accuracy on the Web" SP SP has also kindly sent me the text of the aforementioned essay which you can find here. He has also sent me details of his own website (lots of pictures of animals, Steve - seriously!) which is at http://members.cruzio.com/~spollard/scpets.html

02/05:"Do you ever work? From a quick glance - good website." LM Just ask my boss...

01/05:"G'day from Australia. I was born and lived in Hounslow in the 50's & 60's and went to Chatsworth and then Bulstrode schools. Fun things for young 'uns back then included; hanging over the iron bridge by Chatsworth School and trying to lob bricks down the funnel of the steam trains as they passed under; switching the points in the railway siding when coal trains were being shunted to try and get them to collide; "knock-down ginger" along Bell Alley shoving tu'penny bangers through the letter boxes; sinking the paddle-boats in Inwood Park; and throwing stones at the "rag & bone" man's horse to make it bolt. (heh! heh!) "BP No wonder you got shipped off to Australia...

11/04: "Hi there, A friend sent me a link to your website and i'm glad he did. I've lived in Cranford & Hounslow West since 1972 and still live here. I can confirm Maria Whittaker went to Cranford Community School and Sanjeev Basker (spelling??) (goodness gracious me & Kumars at number 42) also studied there. I've been told one or two other famous names studied in Hounslow College (private school - now closed down) - i'll try and find out who they are and let you know Regards." PP I'd love to meet Cranford Community School's career advisor...

11/04: "Hi,I was born & lived in Catherine Gardens Hounslow 1939-1953.went to Bulstrode school after Chatsworth juniors. A famous tenor named John Hanson lived in Central Ave ,.My friends & I used to go & visit him .He would play piano & sing to us.My name Was Margaret Mc Donald.John used to sing Bella Margurita to me. Also a friend had an uncle living in Hounslow who was a body guard to the Queen when she was princess Elizabeth." MK So a bit of culture for a change! Though I must admit Bella Margurita sounds like something that Yates's would flog for a fiver a pitcher...

11/04: "Re Flossie Forsyth...try http://www.stephen-stratford.co.uk/forsyth_harris.htm and why not try using google you idle twat? too busy looking up midget porn? or downloading mark handley mp3s?" SMcV Thanks. I can only assume that Mr Mcveety's misguided and frankly unneccessary speculations are directed at me rather than the author of the email below...

10/04: "Would like some gen on flossie forsyth....if you please" FF Can anyone help?!

09/04: "I used to live next to the greatest guitarist in the world when I lived in Hounslow West.
He tutored Ritchie Blackmore
He helped Jimmy Page read music
He introduced the sitar to George Harrison
He played on David Bowie's "Space Oddity"
He played on all of the early James Bond themes
He played on the first single that had a fuzz box (P.J.Proby)
He toured with Eddie Cochran and Gene Vincent
Carly Simon was grateful for help with "You're So Vain"
"Je t'aime" - Bridget or Jane - yup both
He is featured on more hit singles in this country than anybody else
Elvis - Bing Crosby - them too
Must be worth a mention, " A And who is 'A' referring to? Why 'Big' Jim Sullivan, of course!
 

09/04: "Hi fantastic website on Hounslow, i live in New York but before that lived in hounslow for about 12 years, any new updates coming ??? What about that pub the Greyhound and I am told is now a gay pub ???  Dare you review that Pub. Also,big question. What is the name of the pub that is now a McDonalds on roundabout just after Hounslow West on the way to the airport on Great South West rd. was it the Travellers friend or maybe thats the one on the next roundabout ? thanks in advance for answer,it is driving my Friend and I nuts trying to remember. cheers and keep up the good work."KH The pub KH is asking about is the erstwhile Travellers' Rest. He will no doubt be heartened to hear that despite the pub's conversion to a McDonalds the kebab van located just outside continues to do a roaring trade. Including during McDonalds' opening hours!

09/04: "Famous people in Hounslow - you forgot to mention Patsy Kensit (Hounslow West) and Maria Whittaker (Heston)" CH Thanks for the info - can't say I'm suprrised though...!

08/04:"Remembering Hounslow Heath Fairs..my first beer taken at the Rifleman(aged 17)wearing squared toed shoes to get closer to the bar !!!Swanning along the High street on a Sat morning ....Bulstrode school...at that time Charlie Downs was the head concho.If you got passed Charlie,it was next stop borstal in feltham !!!!..The Sat night dances at the town hall,and Ray Web at the Red lion,above all,the sunday Monkey parade along the Richmond Tow path.......now living in B.C I often think about the "good old days" FB Anyone care to enlighten me as to what the 'Sunday morning monkey parade' was (is?)! It sounds great!

05/04:"Underage drinking at the Master Robert, punchups at the Bell, delivering the papers in all weathers. Loved your trip down memory lane! Anyone remember the "Naked Truth" used car emporium, next to Hounslow Hospital, across from the Butchers Institute. What the hell was the Butchers? Lived on Cobbs Rd. but left for good in 1965. Expelled from Isleworth Grammar in 1960. Anyone remember Tupper Bros. the butchers or the Beauchamp brothers (Cliff and Gordon)? My e-mail is ... and I commute between Western Canada and California" Anyone remember Peter Johnson? I don't think he'd thank me for sticking his email address on t'internet, but I will forward on any messages for him that I receive.

03/04: "The content about famous people from Hounslow is enlightening, some I knew about and others I didn't. I lived right opposite Charles Hawtrey in Cromwell Road when I was young and my parents expected me to remember him but the fact is I just don't. My wife went to Hounslow college in the 1980s and Rufus Sewell, the actor, was there. Another local man is the folk singer, Robb Johnson, who is a highly rated figure in folk music. His song, Winter Turns To Spring, is Tony Benn's favourite song. If you like modern folk music [no finger in the ear stuff about wassailing here!] then give him a listen but you'll have to go to the big shops in London or buy on the internet as his albums aren't in the local HMV or MVC. He often sings about the locality in titles such as Father Christmas Down Hounslow High St [not about the busker sadly], Fairy Tales In Feltham, Rehoused In Hounslow and the fabulous Hounslow Boys [references the bloke who ran the Band Centre shop which used to be in Bell Road]. Do try to hear him as he's a great songwriter and dispels the myth that folk is all about sitting around in oversized jumpers made of knitted muesli reminiscing over the peasants revolt." DS When I track down one of Mr Johnson's CDs I'll report back. Can't wait to hear 'Fairy Tales of Feltham'

03/04: "I've just come across your web site and it's very very entertaining as well as interesting, even for those such as myself who have lived for many years in Hounslow. The horse may have bolted but CT a while back asked about the Williams dye factory and wondered if it was still there. The answer is no, it was abandoned and finaly knocked down years ago. It's an absolute guess but I would have said it went at least ten maybe fifteen years ago. And where was it? It was off the Hanworth Road between Hibernia Road and Alice Way and the main entrance was just to the left of the Greyhound pub [the pub itself was then called something else and is now boarded up I think]. It was a big site and now is home to a mosque and lots of houses. All The Best" DS Well what a coincidence - there's a 'thing' in this week's 'Informer' about a ten year old copy of that paper being dug up in a time capsule - one of the stories in the paper is about 'the troubled Greyhound pub' closing down and reopening as Hounslow's first pub to cater for those who ride on the other bus - the Queen's Arms...

12/03: "That twat Mark Handley appeared outside the Treaty Centre on boxing day wearing, wait for it, A SANTA SUIT!!! My eyes bled and I am having waking nightmares. Can't we all club together and apply to the government for a cull?" FR So my last piece of Feedback for 2003 is yet another email slagging off Mark Handley. Fantastic - I wouldn't have it any other way. Happy New Year!

10/03: "Hello, Found your website when trying to find out info on The Bell pub. Yours was the only one with a pic and a decent write up. More info for you.Under new management, It is undergoing total redecoration  and should be opening again on November 14th. Traditional type pub, no "mad head banging" music, just nice jukebox, pool table, darts, large screen tv and bar snacks. We welcome old and new customers back to our friendly pub." AP I hope the roulette game and 'house whisky' are also staying. Look out for an updated review of the Bell sometime after the 14th...

10/03: "Are you refering to that place somewhere between Heathrow and Hounslow Bus Depot ??.  I was born there in 1940, and lived there for 20 years.  What a place. Have they yet done anything about the Church in the High Street, the one with no roof ??.  How about the high street cinema that was opposite the church, the one that closed about 80 years ago. HOUNSLOW, home of aircraft, empty derelict buildings, buses and soldiers, not forgetting that ungracious emporium, The COOP store in Staines Road. You guessed it, STILL FEELS LIKE HOME. " JD

08/03: "I've just found your site and though you might be the right character to ask about the local area, we are think about sponsoring a community event, may-be something sports orientated. I know that your pages seem to be more about drinking venues but I thought you might know of an organization that would benefit from this. Please let me know if you think of anything in the area. Kind Regards, " LS Before anyone asks, I've checked, and a bunch of half-cut bloaters playing tug-of-war once a year sadly doesn't count. But if you are involved in some sort of community sports activity, let me know and I'll forward your email on to LS who, as far as I can tell, is being serious...

08/03: "I am writing from California in the US.  I was watching Graham Norton and they were talking about something called a leaving do.  I did a search on the internet, and yous was the first result that had a link to contact someone.  So.... can you please tell me what a leaving do is? Thanks much... " GR Not quite sure whether GR is trying to extract the Michael or not, but I've told him what one is anyway...

08/03: "I came across your site and just loved it. This is what the internet should be about! Two points, though. If you are talking about cafe's, I think you must include The Coffee Pot in London Road, near the Fire Station. Fantastic breakfasts and Thursday night till Saturday it opens in the evening and packs them in for their Thai food. Great meals and very reasonably priced. It's so good you often have to book. And whilst looking at your photos of Osterley Park it got me thinking that we should start a campaign to bring back the Gazebo and your site would be the perfect place to start the battle. Keep up the good work. All the best," GK Not quite sure what a Gazebo is, but I agree with GK and think we should have one!

07/03: "Very interesting, I have grown to love Hounslow over the 13 years I have lived here which shows how sad we all become when it gets us in its grip. By the way, the Red Lion pub mentioned in feedback by 'Z' who left Hounslow in 1955 was closed & destroyed years ago. There is still a large iron red lion symbol in the high street above the alley way to the car park behind McDonalds etc. Lastly can you fix your feedback messages so they have dates? This would be helpful Thanks for the brilliant site." AE Notice anything different about this bit of feedback (and now some of the more recent ones)? That's right, they're dated!

05/03: "If you mention Dick Turpin and other felons, you have to include "Flossie Forsythe", who lived in Hounslow and was hanged for murder in 1960 at the age of eighteen.  I went to school with him at Spring Grove Central in Isleworth." KT

04/03: "Hi everybody!! I'm Orane and I'm french (ouu!! maybe it's not the right moment...) whatever! I've spent 3 mounths in Hounslow last summer and it was a really great time!! I was working to The Black Horse!! What a fun!! People there were fantastic and I hope to see them soon!! My friend was working to the Rileys snooker club where it was quite nice too! I miss Hounslow and all my friends!! Big hugs to everyone!!"OC If any of the fantastic people in the Black Horse have a message for Orane, email me, and I'll forward it on...

03/03: "I think Hounslow deserves recognition for its musical heritage - Jim Marshall opened his first shop selling guitar amplifiers in Hounslow, too.I'm not sure about Elvis Costello living in Hounslow. I know his father and step-mum live in Twickenham, and I bump into his brothers occasionally, who I played in a band with years ago. Incidentally, those guys had a regular Friday slot in Shannon's when it first opened. They went under the names of Slainte, the Mac's and Second Nature in those days. I can't remember if you included Carry On star Charles Hawtry in the hall of fame, he lived in the road behind the former Chariot. I'm always suprised that Dave Sansom doesn't feature on Crimewatch. He was landlord of the Chariot between about '91 and '94, and must be the twin brother of the guy from The Office. Keep up the good work. "JG I don't know Mr Sansom - he must have been BM - Before Marius!

03/03: "I chanced upon your site and am looking forward to reading in detail. I left Hounslow in 1995 and spent far too much money and a worrying proportion of my youth in The Chariot, on some occasions not leaving the pub between 2000hrs on Friday and 2300hrs on Sunday; crazy days! Anyway, the reason I was writing was just in case you wanted to make an addition to the famous people who came from Hounslow section. Ritchie Blackmore, guitarist in Deep Purple, went to Heston Secondary School, a fact you will find supported on the Friends Reunited website, in the 'famous pupils' section. Also, singer-songwriter Nick Lowe (Cruel To Be Kind, I Love The Sound Of Breaking Glass and ex-son in law of Johnny Cash!) lives in Brentford and is usually found propping up the bar of the Beehive."JG

02/03: "I really enjoyed visiting your website and think your wit and humour is just great. Spent a very pleasurable half an hour touring around. "GG Cheers!

01/03: "As a Hounslow lad who has moved away to a nice place, I find this website great for when I'm feeling homesick. Elvis Costello (Or Declan McManus as his mother would call him) came from Hounslow and attended St. Marks. With my Dad. And Glen Hoddle's Mum is in a hospice in Feltham. And apparently (this one I'm not sure about) one of the Sugababes went to Green School. Keep up the good work" LMcA

01/03: "I used to live in Hounslow a couple of years ago. In Standard Road off of the Bath Road. I was a regular in "The Friend in Hand " pub which I think was on Staines Road. Is it still there and if I think deserves a mention on your web site as "Sean" the Chef cooks a mean Sunday Roast.Cheers "DMcC

"Some more points for your catalogue of fame: Elvis Costello lived somewhere in Hounslow (towards Twickenham, I think) when he was starting out. Worked at some place up by Brentford as a computer operator, I think.The Strawbs started and the White Bear - perhpas you've mentioned this.Don Partridge used to busk along Hounslow High Street before 'Rosie' was a hit and lived down my road in Heston."FB

"just seen your site mate, and as a resident of hounslow, thought it was the dogs bollocks! just thought you might wanna add to ur site that the guitar playing twat in the high street who sells his revolting cd's is named "mark handley". me and my mates have digital camera's, and if u ever want us to
document some more drinking activities in hounlslow, we'd be more than glad to get totally shited take some photos and mail them to ya take it easy mate and have a happy new year."AV

"This can make any geezer who misses hounslow, right at home, all u gotta do is add...golden grill on london rd...the redlion...master robert. Well done on the site and a feature on the 'classic' hounslow tramps would be good."BM "Top Tramps" section coming soon...

"Guess you've seen that Harvey's Pub has once again changed its name. It's now the Larkin Inn. Can anyone remember all its incarnations? I'd guess at The George > Muswells > Palio > Noble Half > Rock & Fodder > Harvey's and now the Larkin Inn. Am I right?" PD How long before it turns into one of those wretched "Australian" bars that have spread out of Earl's Court and now seem to be springing up everywhere?

"hi there...what a cool site!! i have an online buddy named jjupiter who lives in hounslow...he is 16 and an aspiring singer. while trying to wow him with my burgeoning knowledge of hounslow, i came across your fascinating site!! thanks for letting me visit."PC More feedback from America!!!

"Spoke to Sean, the landlord of Shannons the other day. The place is going to be majorly refurbished (and renamed) shortly, even though the Sean' s painted the outside. a few hundred grand is what'll be spent. Coming are concertina doors for the front (nice addition) and a more pubby feel inside (carpets). The new name will be.........The Prince Regent. Apparently Sean was looking for inspiration and saw that the road to the rear was called Prince Regent Road and decided "That'll do".
 
A new chinese has opened up near the Moon. The Yellow Express is a all you can eat buffet. evening price is £8.95 and its also fully licensed.
 
My missus went to the Paphos Village Taverna on Hanworth Road the other night and said it was very nice. Maybe an addition to Gobbling III ?
 
One for shops, Sandai Electronics has been shut for a few months now. I don't think they've closed down as the shop is still full of goods. Odd. Also Monty's has definitely closed down. Dunno if this is linked to Sandai but I look at the whole site (including Halifax, General Store and market stall) and then consider the redevelopment about to take place in Hounslow and think all that might be on its way out to be replaced by a new development. Methinks, a structure taller than the tall L-shaped office on Lampton Road might be proposed." PD So one can now get hammered at the Moon and then for a Chinese buffet... Did anyone else ever take advantage of the Noble Half's Happy Hour Grolsch and them go on to Mr Wu's years ago? Or am I just showing my age?

"Just opened today on the Staines Road, between the Moon Under Water and the greasy spoon is Yellow Express Chinese Buffet and Takeaway, eat as much as you like for lunch @£5.50, afternoon tea @ £4.20 and dinner @£8.50 - I went past this evening and they had about 15 hot dishes on the buffet in the window (including chips!) and a freezer full of ice-cream (you can also have toffee banana). I shall be giving it a try as soon as I can.
 
Monty's in Montague Road has been closed for a while, I'm hoping Melam might open another branch there!
 
Bon appetit!" IH I really will try Melam soon...
 

"Hi. Great site.
I couldn't believe it when I browsed upon your work during a bored lunchtime google bashing. I used to live in Hounslow and my dear old Nan (gawd bless er) still does. When I visit with the wife and kids I make sure we stay overnight so I can revisit some of the old boozers to see how they've changed (usually in a downhill fashion). Let me see...White Bear, Jolly Farmer, The Chariot (shannons), Duke of Cambridge etc etc.
In fact I am around this weekend so I will take myself up the high street for a few cold ones. Oh yeah and in the dim and distant I once worked (briefly) behind the bar at the Tankerville. I think the worst pub in Hounslow has got to be the Duke of Cambridge (flat lager, full of alcoholics...) and the best, perhaps....ah now you got me...I suppose least bad would be more apt..! Anyway keep up the good work..will pop back soon. Cheers." IR Hounslow's best pub?! That would have to be either the Hare and Hounds (yes I know it's strictly speaking Osterley) or the one mentioned in the email below...

"Top site mate; really great effort.
The best comment on Hounslow is, generally, that those who are born there and can get out, do. It's a soulless, miserable place in my opinion, though not because of the people who live there, who have always deserved better than than the place offers. But that's a Greater London Heathrow satellite borough for you, created by the those who should know better for those who can only wish that they had. Don't know if anybody pointed it out but the Moon Under Water did at least partly derive from the Bird in Hand pub. It was run by the Dad of a mate of mine from Hounslow College (the shite private school as opposed to the real college).
As for me, I lived off Lampton Road, married the girl next door who went to Hounslow Manor, and went for our first 'date' at the Old Queen's Head, which I always thought was in Cranford as opposed to Heston. First drank at the Bell in '83 when I was 17 and I could get smashed, and did regularly, on a fiver. Got drunk in a frightening number of the pubs you feature though many not more than once.

Most were, and I'm sure still are, rubbish, and Richmond and Twickenham became the drinking holes of choice to those of us who could figure out to get on a bus. There were so many scumbags in Hounslow, a lot of the pubs just didn't merit the risk of coming across them. A notable and honourable exception was the Jolly Farmer on Lampton Road, a proper local, run by Percy(?) an affable Irish chap and his wife for years. A very, very, fine local pub My brother-in-law drank for years in the Rifleman, where he learned to drink with his teachers from Hounslow Manor. Let's face it, Manor would make anybody want to drink. Can't say I ever noticed the charms of the Chariot, and still less of the Tankerville where trouble was never far away.

Still good to see some old haunts on your site. Power to your elbow, Cheers," JA Couldn't agree more with your comments about the Jolly Farmer though I'm sure you're mistaken in you insinuation that not all the Rifleman's clientelle may be over 18!

"I would like to thank you for producing your website which has that combination of bemused detachment and gentle sarcasm that makes the hounslow experience interesting (and bearable).One suggestion I have for the sightseeing section is Cranford Park and the church there which still has some of its original Saxon wall decorations above the now Elizabethan interior (including the funerary monuments)....the park is beautiful although sometimes has an odd sense of dread. There is what is left of manor house stables and a maze (although the house itself is gone) the female owner built a tunnel from the house to the gardens, which she would leave because she was worried someone would come for her and accuse her of murder...the dread must have driven her mad. The other big thing is that comic Tony Hancock is buried in the churchyard, by one of the walls. I'd also like to recommend Melam on the great west road as well. The food is great. You have to try the chili prawn fry and a sweet curry they have made with mango pieces.... Also try the Passage to India in heston...the chef makes really good food and I saw the guy from Goodness Gracious Me in there who says 'Cheque Please'.

Hounslows other famous ex residents also includes Phil Collins (then an electrician) and the band Dodgy. Door to door drug dealers abound, when we first moved here, there was also a house of ill repute for gainful employment of fallen women....bless!

Lastly, do you know what happened to Michael Jackson? I don't know if you know of him, but he was this asian guy who used to dance and sing Michael Jackson songs and would even dress like him. The only thing is he isn't a busker....he just does it...as though he is MJ all the time. I'm concerned as I haven't seen him in ages and wondered if anyone knows what became of him.....did he join S-club 7 or something? " PK PK (and just about every other reader of this site, I suspect) will be pleased to hear that I saw Mr Jackson doing his "thing" in the High Street a couple of months ago - ie early August, 2002. The funny, and strangely touching thing (seriously!), were the number of people who recognised and remembered him and hung around for a bit to watch him "perform". The less said about Phil Collins the better, but I'd be grateful for further details about this "house of ill-repute"...

"Several months ago I sent you an e-mail telling you about the great times I had while I was in Hounslow in the mid 70's. Since that e-mail I have spent hours sifting through your website, looking at the photos, reading up on all the info you have provided about various pubs, restaurants and other areas of interest in and around Hounslow. The feedback section, which I look into several times a week, offers up a good range of views on pubs, and pub goers. I wish I was there to have a look for myself. Keep up the good work, your friends in Canada are interested."P O'N People in Canada wishing they were in Hounslow - whatever next...?

"I looked on the internet for Hounslow as I just found out I have a sister who lives there. I have not seen her for 47 Year and next year I plan to come to UK and see her. I think Hounslow looks fabulous and I can't wait. " MO Believe it or not, this email came from Australia, not Kosovo!

"If you have the remotest interest in whether there is an *after life* - and what it might hold - I'd suggest a visit to The Palmerston.
Re comments on The Birdcage. Gays and lesbians have the same right as anybody else to the pursuit of happiness, but to state that heterosexual expression "...is inappropriate behaviour..." is an inverted bigotry. Cheers," JM.

"Ahoy! Yet more new buskers sighted in Hounslow! They seem to be the ones whoare so devoid of talent that they can't even afford a travel card to busk on the Tube. Strangest by far is the whistling blind man. He stands there and whistles, and that's it. No singing, no dancing, no ridiculous headgear, just....whistling. Actually, maybe he's not a busker at all, maybe he's just trying to call his guide dog. I'm starting to get annoyed by the "Andean" pipe band. More often than not there are only one or two of them, and they're playing along to taped music, most of it not even Andean. I can understand lip-synching on Top of the Pops, but in Hounslow High Street? I'm also having serious doubts as to their authenticity; growing your hair and putting a blanket round your shoulders does not necessarily make one a Peruvian. There was also a "traditional Irish" pipe player a month or so back. If you want to know what a donkey being buggered by an elephant while being fed through a mangle sounds like, wait 'til he comes back. He is sometimes accompanied by a penny whistle player. I spotted one of those Eastern European gypsy-type accordionists in the HighStreet last week; this could be the start of a disturbing trend. They're normally encountered on the Tube in central London, accompanied by a poorly washed, doe-eyed urchin soliciting financial contributions while his big sister relieves weary travelers of the burden of their wallets. Actually, they'd probably fit in quite well in Hounslow....

"Various other bits and pieces; the new look pages are a big improvement, but why not overhaul some of the content while you're at it? You still have The Sun listed as "possibly central Hounslow's finest pub so far" which it patently isn't. It takes a big man to say "I'm sorry, I was pissed, and I was wrong", but your readers will thank you for it. There's a big warning sign in Primark saying "Pickpockets work in this store". Why the hell do they employ people like that? Hounslow Kebab now have another healthy alternative, chicken donner kebabs and, even better, chicken donner kebab meat and chips. In retaliation Perfect Chicken have started doing Donner kebabs. I liked the new Chiswick page, very brave of you to include the Birdcage, I expect it'll ruffle a few feathers. But what was wrong with Jack Stamps Beer House? You've been in the Bell, The Northstar, and the Earl Hague, for God's sake.

Great to see the relaxed Welshman back!" SM

"I recently ventured the Piccadilly (westbound) to spend an evening in Hounslow hosted by friends who live there. We drank in several of the pubs mentioned on your site, most memorably Yates, the Tankerville, The Bell and The Royal Albion in Hibernia Road. Yates, on a Saturday night, is a beacon for psychotic squaddies blown in from Feltham (The Spiritual Home of the Top-Knot?); the air so fertile with testosterone that, through the simple acting of drawing breath, pregnancy had become a potential hazard. We left just as a fistfight started. Amongst two young women. The Royal Albion was my hosts' local, and the last stop. I'd been recommended it as an authentic, Hounslow experience: unreconstructed, Hogarthian, and cheap drinks a-plenty in an Anything-Might-Happen atmosphere. We discovered it had new licensees and now catered for a gay & lesbian clientele. I suppose the clientele were *technically* gay. Gay in the Hounslow-style, perhaps. Rough as houses - skinheads in baseball caps, football shirts et al. And the lesbians were rougher - like extras sent from an unholy union of Millets and Mullet-U-Like; shirt collars turned up, sovereign rings & chains, long-stemmed combs at the ready (sharpened, by the looks of it.) We didn't linger.
Still, for the adventuruous, Hounslow on a Saturday night has all the frisson of, say, Bogota - without the expense & discomfort of long-haul travel." JM

"Dear Editor,
Have you ever chucked your guts up near a billboard after visiting the Chariot, en route to the saveloy dispensery, then gone on to a night of debauchery in Ealing?" AM If anyone else wants to try to get a cheap laugh by digging up the dead past, then by all means, feel free! -"Editor"

"Mate, Your site is f****** excellent. I done a search for 'Hounslow' on google and discovered your beautiful creation. I've lived in Hounslow West and Isleworth for 15 years and know all the places you mention. Seeing all the boozers on the net was weird to say the least. Your section of the buskers on the high street was spot on and nearly made me piss myself. Top man"SM (Not Steve McVeery!)Thank you! I can't take credit for the Buskers section sadly - that came from someone else.

"I must congratulate you on your excellent Web Site. I can hardly begin to imagine the hours of dedicated research that has gone into the "Quaffing" section of the site and marvel at the in depth information that you have been able to provide.
 
You may be interested to know that I came across your site by searching for photographs of The Jolly Farmer, Lampton Rd as part of a family history project that we are conducting. We have established that my wife's great grandfather lived at the pub at the time of the 1881 census and was presumably the landlord,as he was listed on the census return as a "Beer Seller" as well as being the head of the household.
 
We are delighted to find that the pub is still in existence, functioning as a real pub by all accounts, and to have found your photograph. If you have any further local expert knowledge on the pub and its history I would be very pleased to hear from you."MS If anyone has any interesting snippets of info about the JF, let me know and I'll forward them on.

"Re: IH's feedback, surely a better reply would have been "I'll hold the **** down for you, son". PS I take back my previous comments regarding Perfect Chicken, I've been back there a few times and it's growing on me." SM What's wrong with Hounslow Kebab then? On a diet?

"I'm fascinated to learn whilst reading through your feedback section that me and my fellow isleworth and syon boys aren't the only ones to suffer the crude talk of the lady from the chinese place next to golden grill (spiros') on the london road. May i suggest starting any crawl at the castle. Leave swiftly as all your mates dad's are in there. head to the chequers to check out the blonde behind the bar. then to the red lion but go in the right hand door if you're straight. Up to the bridge inn just for old times sake. Then go see the chinese lady for a bit of merry banter. to the Rifleman for old times sake and coz u havent quite mastered the art of the non-safety pint glass yet. The moon under water coz you're all broke then stagger to hounslow kebab for meat and chips. Job done and not a stabbing in site." DF The Right Hand door - so that's where I went wrong...

"My toddler's latest remarks upon seeing Handley outside the Treaty Centre were "There's that silly man again. He's a horrible man. I want to hit him!"" IH I trust your reply was "go ahead son"!

"Just wanted to thank you for a great laugh with the website...actually laughed out loud on several occasions! Would love to assist with your research, only...
1. I don't drink (very much)
2. I don't live in Hounslow (any more)
3. I won't be here(much longer!)
 Still, if I do go back for a bit of nostalgia, I shall share my thoughts!" JR

"I went along to the Jolly Farmer in Hounslow like you suggested and sampled several pints of Directors. Cracking pint.I heard that the landlord has recently passed away and, get this...the pub is now up for sale. Might end up as the Slug & Parrot after all. I'm pleased I experienced it as it is at the moment though."AM (Different AM to the one above)

"Just searching the web checking out different things and places, came across this site and had to check in. A number of years ago, perhaps the mid to late 70's, I spent a few month'sin England ( Hounslow ) and had a great time. The Duke of Cambridge was not far from where I was staying ( I think I stayed on Kingsley Rd., or something like that ) so I spent many hours in the Duke, drank more beer than I can remember and met a lot of great people. I was in my early 20's then and could drink a lot of fine British beer without much of an effort, or at least I could get out of bed the next day without much effort. Needlesstosay, I had a good time. Perhaps it's just me getting older but I think people tend to look back at things they've done and places they have been and enjoyed, the Duke of Cambridge in Hounslow was one of those places for me, a place I had a lot of fun and fond memories from. I hope someday soon I can return to that pub,sit and enjoy a pint and reflect on the good time I had when I visited in the 70's. With luck I may even run into some friends that may still live in that neighbourhood. I'm from Canada, living in Ottawa but originally from St. John's, Newfoundland, the east coast. Please give my regards to the people who call that pub their local, should you swing by for a pint at some time in the near future. There were a couple of people I shared many a pint with but have long since lost contact, if you're visiting the Duke some day soon, please ask if there is a Ray Usher and his beautiful lady that may still frequent the place. I regret I have forgotten her name. I'll check in at this site from time to time, perhaps you will have included some photos of the Duke of Cambridge and perhaps some of its patrons.Keep up the good work." PO'N If anyone knows Ray Usher please get in touch. For obvious reasons I don't think I will be adding pictures of the Duke of Cambridge's patrons...

"I found your web sight slightly by accident but anyway became interested. I lived in Hounslow until July 1949---yes '49.  We left and came to Canada.  I now reside in suburban Vancouver, British Columbia on the west coast, or wet coast of the country. My father worked for Williams a dye and chemical company. Does it still exist?  Any pictures possible if it does? Planning to vist the UK next spring so would like to get an early look at the place of interest to me. Any thing you can do would be appreciated." CT I have told CT that is highly unlikely any reader of this site will be aware of the Williams Company as one can neither eat nor drink their products (unless they also make meths). Still if anyone does know of this company, please let me know
 

"The Lahori Karahi. It's very good value. Bring your own booze from Bottleneck next door. It's pretty basic but designed to be that way. Don't fall for the seemingly free onion salad though. They also serve very odd popadmums which suffice as they are genuinely free. The food is generally good but usually very hot. I guess the amount of asians that actually go there must mean its good. I think the chap who owns it is related to the owner of the Asia Kebab house as I sometimes see the same cooks in each place. Also next door is the Cheong Sol Korean restaurant. I went there one lunchtime and it was average but I doubt I chose the best thing. In fact I didn't know what I had! I hope it wasn't stray-dog. I think this place stays in business due to Korean businessmen from the Dong Ah office next to Bridge Road and coachloads of bemused Korean tourists who occasionaly turn up. I wonder what they must think....?"PD I think Sansung also have a big office near Gillette Corner. I've always been too scared to go into Cheong Sol myself, although "Saigon" over the road looks very promising...

"I have just been sent your web site, and I think it is absolutely brilliant. I will be sending this on for others to enjoy. Keep up thegood work, dangerous though it is."KT Thank you, thank you, thank you! XXX

"I'm a fellow local that's setup an forum for our humble borough.Please give it a visit and maybe a link? It's a bit tempramental at
the mo' so please keep trying."PD It works fine and is well worth a visit: www.hounslowforums.co.uk

"You've gotta try the chicken tikka in nan bread from Asia Kebab House (don't
forget chilli sauce)! It is now world famous thanks to staff from our
DHL office next to the bus garage taking foreign visitors for a bit
of british tukka?!?!?!? It's also only £2.50!"PD

"I still play in Hounslow....might be there tommorrow....the person who built the website had a bit of a clear out and removed your comment along with a few abusive ones that some sad person decided to send....cheers Mark" MH Mark Handley returns to Hounslow! You heard it here first!

"Some observations on the last few months of eating and drinking in Hounslow. Firstly the African Queen: I believe you are mistaken in your assertion that the mixed grills are sufficient for two, I could easily manage one on my own. The massala fish and chips are excellent too, but I would strongly advise people against trying to eat the raw chilies out of the salads for a dare. I was impressed by their range of beers too, particularly the Indian lagers. Eating there on a Friday evening was a bad idea though. Sad news from Hounslow Kebab; the price of meat and chips has gone up (£3.50, I think, still excellent value for money). I've also tried one of their chicken kebabs which lived up to their usual high standards. On the subject of pubs, I continue to impressed by the Moon, and have developed a taste for their bottled Kozel (which would cost 10p in Prague, including a deposit on the bottle). They've gotten rid of the Who Wants To Be A Millionaire quiz machine though. Going back to the Sun whilst sober was a bit of a let down, but those sofas were really comfy, and it still had its cozy atmosphere even without the log fires being lit. Probably the place for a contemplative pint rather than a major session. More busker news. Haven't seen that Mark Handley in ages, in fact the last time I saw him was in Windsor (and a hell of a shock that was!) where he was being mocked by children in the streets. Quite rightly too. A newcomer is that coloured Country and Western singer (a genre of artist about as common as an Amish Gangsta Rapper, although funnily enough Hounslow now also boasts a pensioner-aged, lank-haired, white Blues singer. He's crap). I saw a poser advertising a forthcoming appearance of his in the Lord Clyde; his name is David Scholarly or somesuch, and according to the poster he performs "Country and Weston" music. I imagine it was a bit of a shit concert as every time I've seen him he seems to be singing the same song, American Pie. I'm getting most of my entertainment in the streets of Hounslow by trying to dodge those bastards with the clip-boards collecting for charity. They're getting right on my tits. It seems to be a different charity everyday, and they deploy themselves in teams of 6 or 8 in strategic locations so that it's virtually impossible to avoid them all. And you can't fob these bastards off with 10p in their tin, they want you to sign up for monthly direct debits from your bank accounts. Like I'm going to give my account details to some soap-dodging Greenpeace-activist wannabe! Finally, considering that the highlight of your site is the photo that have misleadingly titled "Bloater Taking A Wazz In The Street". would it be possible for you to print a photograph of the samegeneral subject matter,but perhaps with a different "Bloater"? Thank you."SM
Sorry, the title should be "Bloater Taking a Wazz In The Street While Wearing A Baseball Cap Backwards"

"New Restaurant in Hounslow! Enrico's on the Great West Road has recently become Melam, purveyors of authentic Keralan and South Indian cuisine. We recommend it, the food is excellent. There has been a Keralan restaurant called Pallavi in Twickenham for several years but Melam is much better because

1. It's in Hounslow and

2. It's cheaper!

The food is quite different to the usual North Indian restaurant grub; it's heavy on the seafood and veggie specialities such as dosas (rice flour pancakes) , it's not swimming in oil and the spicing is very different...

The Mogo chips at the African Queen are made of cassava (which is also the source of tapioca, although I know which I prefer!)"

Mrs H

"I went to school in Houslow (Bulstrode)& left in1955.I was then shipped off to live with an Aunt in the U.S.A. I rember The Red Lion pub it was near the school,is it still there? After reading the comments about Hounslow it seems even tougher than I rember it. One of these days I,m gonna come back for a visit to see how the old place is. I still have some very good memories of my early teen years in Hounslow." 'Z' Never heard of the Red Lion - has anyone?

"I am a Hounslow resident and can confirm you will be much better off drinking in Twickenham or Isleworth. Not so many dirtbags about!!!!!" AJ

"I notice that you have expanded your horizons beyond Hounslow. May I suggest that the White Horse at Oakington be
included as well? This magnificent hostelry is part of life's rich pageant for many at Oakington. It offers a fine selection of Mexican food, cask ales and lagers backed up by constant Northern Soul/Motown background music. It boasts a largish beer
garden with patio, heaters etc and a Petanque court (this having taken over from darts and pool as the inter-pub competition of
choice in these parts). The staff are very friendly and accommodating and I would urge a visit for anyone coming up to this part of Cambridgeshire. It is as good as the Bulstrode, Moon Under Water and Yates's in Hounslow, the White Hart in Harlington or the George in Staines, though somewhat smaller than these. I would recommend it without hesitation."AC What's Petanque?

" I have spent my entire life in Hounslow and i am afraid i am yet to see her beauty. All one can do in Hounslow is Eat and Drink which isn't always that satisfying. The shops here are backdated, there are no clubs here and evreything other then the pubs shut early. So unless u can show me Hounslow's good points i beg to differ with ur opinion. From a unimpressed Resident!" MF

"Words almost fail me" HR

"There was one of those Andean-type pan-pipe bands in town just after
Christmas, very impressive even if they weren't wearing the traditional
ponchos and sombreros. I listened to them for quite a while but being a
cheap bastard didn't give them any money. Best of all, they were in the spot
usually claimed by that twat Mark Handley. Does anyone know if he plays
anywhere other than Hounslow, so I can avoid going there?
Changing the subject, after a session earlier in the month I stopped off at
Perfect Chicken (just over the road from Hounslow kebab); I would have been
far better off walking the extra 2 minutes to get to Hounslow Kebab;
although it was only midnight and the place stays open until 1am they had
run out of chicken (on a week night too!); all they had left was spicy wings
of which I had several. The guy behind the counter seemed to be making the
pricing policy up off the top off his head, obviously taking advantage of my
tired and emotional condition. The chicken wings (if indeed they were
chicken) were certainly spicy but otherwise too dry and tasteless. To sum
up: Shite." SM I would pay good money to see the Chillians and Mark Handley battle it out for that busking pitch. No prizes for guessing which side would have the support of Hounslow's citizens...

" I think the busker's name is Mark
something, and I have an interesting business idea involving the selling of
ear plugs to the poor innocent public of Hounslow whenever he's around. I'll
be sipping lager from Kate Moss's belly button within a year.
Cheers."
AG

"I'm delighted to see a website with proper information about the essentials of Hounslow such as pubs, kebab shops, etc. What a welcome antidote to that poncey bloody ChiswickW4 site - 'Use this local carpenter because he's had work exhibited at the V&A' WHAT??!" IH Thank you!

"A Nass burger is actually much better WITH mayonnaise you ignorant git. And
last night's curry in the Golden Orient was very average...

The White Bear used to be a lot better before someone refurbished it and put
in a wood laminate floor.

Stick this on your website....." SD You should only have mayo on your Nass Burger if you want a body like Simon Dadd's! I will post his comments regarding the HB only when he justifies them...

"Lord Clyde was one of my Grandfather's regular haunts (not the one who drank
with Billy Smart). I was impressed that it still retained the seediness and
East End atmosphere of those far off days.

In addition to the Who Wants To Be A Millionaire machine, The Rifleman had a
sit-down version of that 1980S classic 'Scramble' - it is still as
naff as ever but at 20p a throw it represents better value than a WWTBAM
machine after McVeety has punched Chris Tarrant a couple of dozen times.

I was also impressed with the beer at The Rifleman. It is a rare pub in
this day and age that still serves Mild on draught. For those that have
never tried this brew, I recommend it heartily - imagine the taste of
Guinness with all the body of Coca-Cola and you will have some idea of what
it is like.

I must agree with MT: the pub in Isleworth by the river is totally crap;
like the Millennium Dome, everyone knows where it is and nobody wants to go
there. He is also correct in chiding the editor (and other lightweights)
who wilfully refuse to venture westwards as if the Bell were some kind of
gateway to Hell. The next research trip must include a trip up West which,
as the editor is well aware, was once the height of sophistication in
Hounslow." AC

"I go along with the writer
"M.G." whoever he may be. Whilst he says Isleworth is better for pubs, I
hope he isn't referring to those two abominable converted banana warehouses
by the river in Old Isleworth. They are pigs mucus. A trip around the
Bridge, Woodlands, Red Lion and whatever that other place is called would be
a laugh. I should know, at one time, I've been thrown out of all of them!
You could end up with an overdose of grease from that Chinese takeaway where
the woman had a long conversation with Mike McHugh about the length of his
dick whilst preparing prawn balls.

"M.G. is quite disparaging about Hounslow pubs but he shouldn't refer to them
all in Earl Haig terms. Just because he is a wimp who never gobbed anywhere
except at the barman in the Chariot whilst clearing his mouth of Glayvavom,
doesn't mean that you have to be some kind of Neanderthal to drink there.
Incidentally, the tramp was an Inspector whose name escapes me but then most
things escaped me that night ..." MT

"You must have been drunker than I thought if you are under the impression
that the recent pub-crawl started in The Bell; what about the 5 or 6 pints
we had first in the Moon? Incidentally I must take exception to your
somewhat casual dismissal of the merits of the Moon; granted, as a
Wetherspoons pub it can sometimes be a little lacking in atmosphere but the
beer is probably the cheapest in Hounslow and they usually have a couple of
interesting guest-beers. And where else in Hounslow can you get away with
asking the barmaid for a sausage sandwich? A quick word on the Who Wants To
Millionaire? quiz machine; it's addictive! Play it once and you'll end up
putting a fortune into it.The best thing about it is that it's a
touch-screen thing, so you can punch Chris Tarrant.
I quite liked the strange collection of regulars in The Bell; the beer
seemed to be reasonably priced too. The place was a bit quiet though; maybe
the next "research trip" should be on a weekend?
The real revelation of the night was The Sun; the staff seemed very friendly
and it was nice of them to give us free prawn crackers! Who would have
thought that a pub with as relaxed an atmosphere as this could be right in
the centre of Hounslow? Open log fires too! I think a research visit to the
Thai restaurant would be in order?
I can't remember too much about The Rifleman, probably because they had a
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire machine too. It seemed quiet and friendly
enough, although we were all pretty hammered by that stage.
The final pub was The Lord Clyde. I remember even less about that, apart
from the friendly alsatian and the weird juke-box which had no Elvis, as far
as I could see. They have free pool on Wednesday evenings so it's probably a
lot busier then.
What surprised me most about all the pubs we tried was the tolerance shown
by both staff and regulars to a group of 4 or 5 obviously pissed-up
strangers staggering in and asking stupid questions.
Finally, in view of the recent inclement weather conditions would The Editor
be in a position to recommend a pub where one would also be able to
purchase a reasonably-priced umbrella?"SM Yes!

"If you intend a visit to Harveys,
you will find it basic but quite friendly. It is well positioned for
shoppers which is when I use it. Don't forget the refurbished ( and much
improved ) Four pillars whose new name I can't recall. For drinkers on a
budget, the Coach and Horses near the bus garage is the place. Two pints for
under four quid is a bargain these days. Biggest drawback is the strict
adherence to licensing laws and the way they enforce them." MT

"Allow me to share a few thoughts on the sublime Hounslow Kebab on Bell Road
. Although the location is not ideal, it's not too far from the town centre
and it benefits from enlightened opening hours; mid-day to 2 or 3 AM every
night. For the cholesterol shy the chicken sandwich comes highly
recommended, but for the salad-dodger there can surely be no alternative to
meat and chips, a distillation of the pure essence of kebab, dispensing with
all frivolous and unnecessary (not to say healthy) elements such as salad
and pita bread. Surely the next logical step is to abolish the "chips" part
of the equation as well (chips being vegetable matter and therefore
potentially classifiable as health food); an absolute bargain at £3.30, you
won't want to eat anything else for days!" SM

"Dad has just reminded me that my Auntie Min used to drink with Charles Hawtrey in 'Henekeys' in the High Street (I am not making this up!). Charlie Hawtrey used to live in Cromwell Road circa 1960 and as well as being a raving queen was also a big time drinker. My Auntie Min was into Guinness in a big way (which probably explains where I get it from); I don't know what Charlie Hawtrey drank but it was probably a lot!!

"Dad didn't seem to know about any other famous lushes in Hounslow but there are bound to be others. My Grandfather (other side of the family) used to live in Feltham and was friendly with all kinds of curious people including Billy Smart. According to my Aunt Kathleen, Grandad and Billy used to get ratarsed in the Bulstrode. Billy used to live in a gypsy encampment at the back of Feltham. My Grandmother was once nursemaid to Jerome Kern's children but that was in Westminster so it would be a gigantic leap of faith to get him placed anywhere near Hounslow." AC

"You omitted to mention that most of Osterly park is,in fact,owned by nonother than the Sultan of Brunei , whose stables can be seen from near to the infamous Hare and Hounds! Maybe the "sheeps" and "fat pigs" distracted you from more in depth research?" AM

" A couple of observations on Hounslow pubs. Every Hounslow boozer has
at least one, and up to 35, resident hard men with blue spider webs tattooed
on their necks. These affable chaps will be happy to supply you with
crack/pot/rohypnol/quaaluudes/scud missiles/charlie etc so long as you don't disrespect them by suggesting that they may not have killed 49 Vietcong with their bare hands on a day trip to Margate/gone to school with the Yorkshire Ripper/beaten Charles Manson at arm wrestling/gobbed in Prince Charles' face for a bet etc, etc. . As for the pubs themselves, particular favourites are the White
Bear and The Duke of Cambridge. As for the Chariot well I too mourn its
passing - Mike Threlfall's 35th birthday party may have been attended by
about 100 IOs but I was the only one to throw up on the bar after quaffing a
triple Glayva. It was a hairy moment but after agreeing to stick to doubles
I was able to complete my journey along the gantry. As I recall Dave had an
interesting conversation with a tramp. Anyway Shannons, as it now is, is a
waste of beer money. In fact apart from the Cambridge and the Bear it's all
a bit poor. Admittedly I haven't been in The Rifleman but as it hasn't been
painted since 1951 and smells of dead badgers I was never tempted. To be
honest Isleworth, which is almost Hounslow anyway, has the better pubs.
Perhaps the editor would care to investigate...." MG