The following critique of Hounslow's busking scene has been kindly provided by Mr Steve McVeety. I have nothing to add apart from the fact that I quite like the Chinese geezer too!

"For those in search of entertainment in Hounlsow, mention must be made of the free spectacle that is provided almost every day by the towns numerous buskers. Variety is indeed the spice of life, and all tastes are catered for, ranging from modern performance-art to classical music. The former is provided by the towns many winos, who have made an art-form out of urinating in the streets and shouting at one-another in the universal, unintelligible language of piss-heads the world over. Surely lottery-funding for these dedicated entertainers cannot be withheld for much longer? The latter comes courtesy of a gentleman of Somalian extraction whose forte is to play the solo clarinet roles of Mozarts' clarinet concertos with orchestral accompaniment provided via the medium of his cassette recorder. This fine musician adds a modern slant to these timeless classics by the cunning ploy of interpreting the music in such a way as the listener is reminded of a noise much like a tomcat with its balls caught in a revolving door on a frosty night.
Mention must be made of a performer of borough-wide renown, namely Hounslows' very own Michael Jackson look-alike. This chap does indeed bare a striking resemblence to Mr Jackson, or at least how I would imagine Mr Jackson would look if he were 10 years older and slightly less caucasian. He even has the authentic clothing of a "Bad"-era Michael Jackson, and most weekends he can be found singing and dancing in the High Street to a large and appreciative audience, most of whom are enjoying his performance so much that they can barely stop laughing, and some of whom have even resurrected the ancient tradition of expressing appreciation by the throwing of fruit and vegetables (there is a conveniently located and competetively-priced fruit stall on the High Street). Whatever aesthetic merits this spectacle may posess is, sadly. somewhat diminished by the fact that his singing makes the above-mentioned clarinetist sound mellow and tuneful, and he dances like a retarded orangutan in a mine-field.
Another regular sight in Hounslow is the accordionist who displays a placard indicating that he is blind. Now as it happens his musicianship is tolerably competent, but if it weren't, why should he use his infirmity as an excuse? If he couldn't play his instrument satisfactorily, then he certainly shouldn't do so in public. After all, does Ray Charles display a sign saying "blind" on his piano? I have often been temped to obtain an accordian myself, station myself next to him with a sign saying "Deaf", and then make an infernal racket.
On which subject, I will mention Hounslow's most notorious busker. I'm not aware of his name,which is surprising as he tends to display it prominently on varous signs, flyers and even compact disks that he has for sale. He can usually be found plying his trade outside the main entrance to the Treaty Centre, wearing outlandish head-gear. This man is the spawn of the devil. He plays a vacuous brand of bland reggae, his lyrics are trite, which doesn't matter so much as you can barely tell what he's singing due to his weak, reedy voice. He dances like a twat, dresses like a pillock and looks like an arse. He takes himself far too seriously (witness the afore-mentioned compact discs of his "music", which he tries to foist upon unsuspecting members of the public). I believe that it is now a local bye-law that you are legally permitted, nay obliged, to smite him mightily around the head with any convenient object you have to hand (may I suggest his guitar?), to be followed by delivering unto him a resounding kick to the gonads (which probably explains his voice), shouting "Die, die, die!"
I quite like the Oriental gentleman who plays the electronic pan-pipes and the wierd stylophone thing though."

If, like me, you think it is a bit rich for Steve McVeety, of all people, to slag people off for the way they look or dance, let me know your thoughts, and I will share them with the rest of the world. The artists mentioned above in particular may wish to take advantage of a right to reply...