More about Sally the

Sally, the Campus Lake Monster, is shown below taking an evening swim, just after swallowing three undergraduates. Dr. Corazone Spamslicer, Associate Professor of Nutrition, says that taking exercise after a heavy meal helps the digestion. "If only more humans would learn from Sally, we would have fewer health problems in this great land of ours."

Is Campus Lake Still Safe??
Are You in Danger of Being Eaten???	SIU Administration Welcomes Sally
A dietary analysis, conducted after several further incidents, suggests that Sally, as the monster has been affectionately named, only scarfs down black, hispanic, female or homosexual undergraduates. Such a politically correct monster is unique. "We assume that Sally would not discriminate against Native Americans either, but she has not yet had the opportunity to munch any," said Corazon Spamslicer, Associate Professor of Nutrition. "It is unclear whether Sally is acting out of moral principles, or whether she just avoids eating Republicans because her stomach is upset by rich food." Dr. Spamslicer believes that Tanya Twoshoes escaped being eaten because she is a sorority girl.	The Acting Interim Associate Excessive Assistant Executive Vice-Chancellor for Diversity and Acting Provost for Political Correctness said that SIU is privileged that such a sensitive creature feels at home here. As a Traditionally Under-Represented Endangered Sub-Aquatic Life-Form, Sally has undoubtedly come to SIU to shelter from discrimination and to avoid being stereotyped as a "monster". The AIAEAEVCDAPPC went on to say that other TURESALF's will be welcomed to SIU with open minds and open arms, flippers or tentacles (as appropriate).
Fidel Castro Claims Monster Yesterday, speaking at a news conference in Cuba, Fidel Castro told our reporter that "Sally" is short for Salvatore. "The monster is actually a Cuban citizen. We will be demanding the repatriation of Sally just like with that little kid, whatever his name was, that everyone got so worked up about", said Fidel.	Fidel Castro Update Fidel Castro says he is interested in improving relationships between Cuba and SIU now that it is under the control of fellow leftist reactionaries. Visit the Fidel Castro Pages to get the latest Politically Correct opinions Checkout the Fidel Castro and SIU Update

More on the Monster
Sally the Monster takes an evening swim Is Campus Lake still safe?? Where did the Monster come from? Sally the Monster Home Page Fidel Castro Claims Monster	Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster Sally & Nessie can Disassemble Saga of the Were Potato Return to Litter Box Return to Dave's Home Page

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