Are you embarrassed by the pathetic "new" SIU logo? Does it impress you with all the vitality and excitement of New Coke? Or perhaps you lie awake at night wondering if AT&T will sue for plagiarism? The solution to your worries:
After almost a whole afternoon of work, it is with great pleasure that I announce not one, not two, not three but FOUR new logos for SIU. These are not intended to represent the parochial obsession with separate campuses so detrimental to our new role in the global village. The first three represent the priority we place upon the three ventures central to SIU's system of values - Administration, Multiculturalism and Recreation. A fourth logo is dedicated to the faculty union, an organization that opposes the administration while sharing the same values of collectivist mediocrity. Feel free to use these as appropriate:
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Detailed instructions for proper use of these logos will be circulated to everybody, whether they need them or not, in a couple of months when our highly productive and efficient administration has held enough committee meetings to consider all the implications. Misuse of these logos will be viewed with the utmost seriousness and violators will be referred to the Committee for Oversight, Watchfulness and Protection of Administrative Trivia (COWPAT).
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